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757 · May 2021
The sun has gone.
The sun is out.
Big and beautiful.
Through my eyes the sun has gone.
There is only darkness and sorrow.

The sun is bright.
Blue and warm.
Through my eyes I feel cold and lifeless.
There is only darkness and sorrow.

Will I feel the sun once more.
Will I feel the heat and warmth from the sun once more.
Will the sun shine through to me once more.

Has the sun gone forever 😪
499 · Aug 2021
Tonight
Tonight I say hello,
Hello to a light that shine,
A shine that has been gone far too long.
Long enough to make me sad.
Sad enough to think I do not matter in this world.
World big enough to hide within.
Within this life all that matters is tonight!
246 · May 2021
Friendship.
I cared,
I loved,
I tried,
I wanted.

You cared,
You crowded me,
You  drained me
You took from me.

Friendship, what does this really mean.   To me it meant caring, respecting, listening, giving and most of all dropping my layers to let you in.

What did friendship mean to you?  From my position of you it meant power,  control, isolating and most of all making me feel useless.

I feel sorrow,
I feel lost,
I feel used
I feel lonely.

What do you feel?????????
104 · Jun 2022
Missing you!
I am so missing you,
You were my world,
The reason I am here,
Why did you leave.

I am missing you,
I feel alone
No energy or reason to go on
Life has no meaning
Why did you leave.

I am missing you,
Your smile
Your laugh
Your touch
The love we once had
Why did you leave.

I'm missing you
My heart is shattered
My soul is broken
My love is lost
Why did you have to close your eyes for the last time.
Missing you!
103 · Nov 2021
life suxs
Life promises so much.
Growing up you just want to get to 18.  Once your 18 your life changes.  You're expected to make decisions that can make or break you.
Life then doesn't deliver what you thought it would.

I'm in a dark place which life  has lead me to recently.   Doubt, self loathing is ripe due to life's pressures.

How did one cope with life.  
Why is life so hard.
Why does experiences alter your life.
Why is it hard to believe in a happy life.
Why do I go negative than believe im worthy.
Life!!!!!
Life just suxs.
65 · May 2021
Where did it go wrong.
Yesterday was full of promise.
Today is full of sadness.
Tomorrow is full of potential that I can not see through from our past.
Where did it go wrong?

Yesterday was full of potential.
Today is full of loss.
Tomorrow can be the start of a new beginning if not for the hurt you caused.
Where did it go wrong?
63 · Jun 2021
Today.
Today is for relaxing.
Tomorrow is for stressing.
Life is hard enough without the added pressures from the outside world.

What is relaxing? It's over rated as the mind continues the movie. Therefore today is not for relaxing.  Today is the constant.

Constant memories, constant why did it happen to me,  second guessing everything and everyone in my life.   Today is not relaxing at all.

Need to stop these negative thoughts going round and round on a loop.  It was not my fault,  it was never my fault and the movie inside my mind has to change the channel but how?

Today needs to be a new chapter,  so relaxing is the challenge.   I will change the channel today.   Today is the new tomorrow.
61 · May 2021
Lonely.
Tonight I am alone
Why can't I be with you?
You destroyed us and I do not know why.
So why would you do that?
I do not understand how you could do this.
I feel so lonely tonight
The only thing I have is the memories.
Why did you do this?
59 · May 2021
Precious
Plants are precious,
Animals are precious,
Environment is precious,
Human beings are precious.

So why is it human beings take such precious things for granted.
Such as feelings,  emotions,  love,  lost.

We care for plants,
We care for our animals,
We care for our Environment,
But we don't care for each other.

Where has the old fashion ways of knowing or neighbours.
Saying hello with a smile,
Caring about your loved ones,

Is all about what an individual is entitled to.  
Taking away the real meaning of intimacy.

Precious is taking the time,
Precious is learning about each other,
Everyone treat everyone that is precious to you with respect.
58 · Aug 2021
Hurt and Hope
Hope at the end of a dark tunnel.  They say feeling hurt is a growing experience.   But when does the hurt stop.

What does hurt actually mean?  Is it being let down,  is it not being seen,  is it not being good enough,  is it a feeling that only surfaced when life is not what you want it to be. Hope is a glimmer shining in the distance.

Hurt comes from letting people in.  Is that wrong or am I supposed to go through life solo.  Hope is that glimmer that letting someone in may change that feeling of I'm not good enough.

Hurt comes from inside me.  Not from someone leaving me because they could not deal with my demons inside. Hope is that hurt decreased and those demons don't surface to others in my life.

It's time I stopped hurting inside.  Blaming that person who took a chance on me is wrong.   There was a side they liked and the Hope is that side over time becomes the full me.  Inside and out.

There is Hope, that shimmering light will come again and I will find someone that sees inside me. That I've changed. That I've taken my demons and turned them into a nice person inside and out. Then that Hope will find me that special someone.  

So I thank you for the hurt I felt when you left. Because now I see why the hurt and the need for Hope.
58 · Jun 2021
Friendship
Friendships can make or break you.
Friendships are like the wind and as unpredicted.
Why is it so hard to be honest.
Can honesty be so rare.
All I have wanted to to be respected.
Friendships have drained me.
Friendships are a mechanism to hide one's despicable motives.
Why is Friendships so hard?
53 · May 2021
What could of been
Life is short.
Life is precious.
What can be done, when Life goes wrong.
Over caring is not the way, but letting go must be the way.
Life is unpredictable.
Life is cruel.
One must realise their own actions have consequences.
Actions verse reactions. What is life meant to to teach us.  
Life is what I make it.
Life is mine not others.
Life is a learning curve.
Life revolves around change and this is the time for change......
51 · May 2021
Loss of Innocence.
You are my world.
The world to your innocence.
How could things have gone so wrong.
No means no.
Why didn't you see the signs.
How could you have betrayed our trust.
Life has changed now.
You say she lied, well I say you took advantage knowing she was vulnerable.
Life has changed and finally you showed your true colours.  Respect of a woman/ girl is to degrade them.
Life has changed for us all.

It's time to move in a forward direction. No looking back.   What is done is done.
47 · Sep 2021
Life as we know it!
Life since 25th January 2020 has changed.
Life these days just includes vaccines, death and lockdown.
What are we suppose to do?
Life as we know it is gone.

What does our future look like?
Have we lost ourselves.
Ourselves are evolving into a human race of uncertainty.
Life as we know is developing.

Where to from here?
More uncertainty,  lack of clarity.
What should we do?
Life as we know it has changed.

Changed for good or bad.
It is to early to decide.
But Life as I knew it can not be attained again.   Life for our future is what Life we do not know is what life rebuilding is what we must do.

— The End —