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AnnStacia Nov 2021
The way you lived
Everyday
Living in fear
Of somebody seeing you loving me

Cause that alley had eyes hidden in the bricks
That parking lot had lights hitting our lips
And you were hushing me
We were always walking on a tightrope that was too many years old
I wonder where you went too when you wouldn’t show up for the 5 minutes you were supposed to

The way you lived
Everyday
Living in fear
Of somebody seeing you loving me

Cause people were noticing me love you
That school had monstrous eyes
That window of your truck had my breath melting the ice
It had the smell of me, my missing earring

The way I lived
Everyday
Living In fear that no one would see me love you

Cause I was the most prized secret
Perfectly kept on tight sealed lips
Losing myself in you
I still remember the weight of you
I still remember the first taste of you
And I remember your stories of the boy you once were and I remember wishing I was born in the 70’s just so I had a chance to be chosen by you

The way I lived
Everyday
Living In fear that no one would see me love you

Everyday for me was like a 10 mile race
I tried with everything I had to be the woman in your frame
But I sunk down deep and lost the game
There I was chasing you like you owed me
Cause I never accepted the fact that you were bad for me

The way you lived
Everyday
Living in fear that somebody would see you loving me

Cause I thought you wanted longevity and I was overtaken by our chemistry
I had dreams about the silly things like your jeans and the way you would smirk at me
I bet you dreamt about mornings with me
But all we ever had was foggy evenings
I had a feeling you were going to make me blue
With your name on me, a blue tattoo
Instead the colors of me are a pinwheel of hues

The way I lived
Everyday
Living In fear that no one would know I love you

But I tell myself that art is meant for periods of time
You made me into a heaven and you made me into a hell
Tell me how do you get the sun to set on you
All I ever have is the moon
And I know that time will pass over and over but I am stained with you
all over my body you lay
After the 8 hour school days of staring at you I can’t unsee you

And I know I was never good at accepting
But you accepted that I was a broken young
And you chose to make me anew  
Did it **** you too?
Tell me did it enlighten you?
Did the first time for me overtake you?

Every day
I was there

You were there

Every day
I was there..

The way you lived
Everyday
Living In fear
Of someone finding out you love me..
I’ll never relate too..
396 · Mar 2021
Made For You
AnnStacia Mar 2021
Your hands move along my spine like you know me
Did you know me when I was 16
I think your lips once touched me with a taste of whiskey while you drew a tattoo on my back that read property of Drew
Darling I open myself for you to take me to the rose garden of dreams where roses turn Blue and I turn into a princess who screws you
Licking cinnamon off of you and coming alive on top of you
You pulled my dress up in the ballroom and penetrated love
Now your lips **** on my flower every night
Your eyes wander the crowded room
With kings and queens dressed to the nines while your pretty face sits between my thighs
Did you know me before this life
I think your body hugged me after that party for the queen
They’ll never know who
You are
You’re a man who needed teaching but taught me instead how to ***** like princesses do
Is it true that the world was built for you
Cause my days are devoted to you
Darling I’m drunk and seeing stars that resemble you
Licking you and becoming a woman on top of you
You pulled my dress up in the ballroom and penetrated me like bad men do
Darling it’s true..
I was made for you
384 · Mar 2021
In Remembrance of LovingYou
AnnStacia Mar 2021
I gave so many lights
I wonder if you lost your way or if you found your nightlight
If the stars carried you through or if the monsters at night snatched you
I saw your blue eyes every god dam time
I can’t believe I lost you
Can you sing out the tune that we ****** too
I gave so many moves
I wonder if you felt my tongue ride you
Did you go to the underway without me
I felt your hands hold me down every god dam night and I loathe you
But I gotta have you
I gave so many whispers
I wonder if you heard me in the silence
I wonder if you felt me on top of you , melting you...
Hanging onto you with every slightest affection
I saw your eyes lay on my body every god dam direction
Can you sing out the tune that we ****** too while I bite my lips in remembrance of loving you
223 · Mar 2021
Fucking in Auroras
AnnStacia Mar 2021
******* in the Auroras with you
All colors but mostly Blue
Tears fall into the water and I dream of you
You say “hush hush baby, open your lips”
I want to be your *****
Be your melody you sing while you *** into ****
Take me into your garden
crimson and visions
All colors but mostly blue
You say “you’re beautiful you’re beautiful you’re beautiful”
I want to be your memory
Be your melody while you drink mimosas in the morning
You say “hush hush baby, turn the radio on and ******* in front of me”
I’ll be your once in a lifetime
Even though I’m a mess
I still wear my party dress
Touch me anywhere because I’m your one and only
Can we be new and erase all the years where I didn’t know you
I’ll just lay on your chest
We can skip the ***
I just want to speak to you
But your presence makes me numb and your lips make me ***
******* in the Auroras with you
Take me to your land
Green, touching, red, holding
All colors but mostly Blue
You say “ hush hush baby, spread your legs, I’ll meet you in the bed of flowers with all the colors and I will take you..
I’ll take you like I created you
Never have I ever not know you
Never have I ever not loved you”
And I’ll spend my days ******* in the Auroras with you...
208 · Mar 2021
All That Time
AnnStacia Mar 2021
All that time I thought memories were being made and stories were being created in beautiful ways..
You were looking so delicate, it could’ve been thought that you were not the one to go
You were acting so fine, it could’ve been thought that we were just ghosts..

All that time I was pacing in pleasure and pain
You were kissing me in beautiful ways...
You were sounding so sincere, it could’ve been thought that you were the one with heartbreak on every page
You were touching every shiver, it could’ve been thought that it was always winter

All that time I read expressions as play
You were messing with me in beautiful ways...
You were seeming like you were going to stay, it could’ve been thought I was the one who was going to stray
You were smelling like rain, it could’ve been thought that you were washing me away

All that time I saw you like a hero
You were rescuing me in beautiful ways...
You were just missing your sincerity
You were seeming like you loved me, it could’ve been thought that I was the one who was afraid...

All that time I loved you with love there to stay
You were ******* me in beautiful ways...
You were acting so fine.... it could’ve been thought that we were just ghosts lost in time..
54 · Mar 2021
Faded You
AnnStacia Mar 2021
Do you remember the times when I was drugged by your delight
When splinters excited me and your causality feasted me
I was jumping to both seats at the dining table
Each time standing in the mirror with a mustache and an earring
After supper we played can you catch me
Every night at 8 I stood by the gate
But the wind carried you blue into a haze of faded you
You went to the forgotten land where men go who have two
Your hand was dangling like pearls on an open end rope
I remember the sights of you , just enough to carry me through the night
And if the faded you caught fire I’d escape like
Dreams do in the mornings
I’d go wait at a dancing ballroom with a sign that read your name
I’d wait eternity to get swept off feet cause I wonder what it would be like to be your key
Do you remember the times when I was young
The taste of never been taken before hung from your mouth like poisonous ***
You kissed me from my shoulders to forbidden hips that dance on you in sunlit sentiments
But the wind carried you Blue into a haze of faded you
You went to the forgotten land where men go who have two
Your hand was dangling with enticing beads
The same color as you
30 · Apr 2021
Locked in Our Affair
AnnStacia Apr 2021
Thoughts of you overtake me
makes my mind feel high
and your palm fits into mine just right
Your lights blind me
I haven’t seen the clarity since you stood up
I wanted to find you a crown but my time ran out
Thoughts about you are angelic
I hesitate on hating you but my heart disapproves
It would rather stay wrapped up in you

We’re locked in our affair
We’ve lost the key
There’s no place to find
We keep our memories of parking lots locked in our minds

Thoughts of you make me crazy
Cause your the only one who painted me
Now I search for leftovers in a freezer
Anticipating & pacing are my kind of adventures since you couldn’t keep me
I wanted to walk out and surprise you in a white dress
But my time ran out
Thoughts of you wake me up early
I hesitate on not knowing you but my heart disapproves
It would rather stay true to its early dedication to you

We’re locked in our affair
We’ve lost the map
There’s no roads to find
We keep our memories of evening runs locked in our minds

Thoughts of you make me keep searching
I open locked doors and stare into empty windows
Cause I keep seeing you
I was going to gift you a pen that constantly clicks
But my time ran out
Thoughts of you flush my cheeks and I can feel your slow touch down to my chest
I hesitate on erasing your hands but my heart disapproves
It would rather feel the ghost of you

We’re locked in our affair
We’ve lost the reasons to stop
There’s no answers to find
We keep our memories in our mind...

We’re locked in our affair...
The moment our lips touched we weren’t aware our passion would never disappear
Thoughts of you overtake me..
And your palm fits into mine perfectly
I wanted to read you words on a paper in a white dress
But Your time ran out.. and you changed your mind
But here we stand, in our locked up affair
Hoping to recreate the memories we share

— The End —