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Cindy May 2021
my boy saw me as a conquering
of the Roman Empire
he desired my land, my love
but none of my mind

he pulled at my hair so I
could stare up at our Saviour
but all I could see was
our ugly popcorn ceiling

and he loved me for six still years
until he found that ******* me
could not make me see Gold
but I love him beyond time
Cindy Jan 2022
above the arboreal palace
below the bright moonlight
sparkling sea to kiss the stones
you beckoned me

"come, come; I've a want to show you,"

out the pockets of your palm
a little life beyond my path
a star cradled so
Akna's gilded glory

"can I keep it?"

am I ill to deny such? I am in love
with your hands I am in love
with the legacy you carve

"It is yours too."

from spoiled bones
no course for blood
and that poisoned oak

"I -"
stop.

six summers spent watching apples bloom
idle in love while you tendered our garden
stilled in love as you salted the earth

surrender your laughter to the ether!
years eternally sweet
I'd be ill to deny
Cindy Aug 2021
I want to tell you that I miss the sea and her whale song
that I am slipping on the taste of salt
and dreaming of that wedding rock

yellow cabin by the seashore -
blue bungalow by the board -
red shed of the precipice

I cannot recall

I miss the sea
that one. the one
where we were supposed to be
Cindy Feb 2021
fell of the fatal fruit
forged from Father's flesh
a failing to feed
forbidden to follow

first flames favours the fool
fever of a fractured fervour
forgive me Father
for I will fall

fell of the fabled fruit
forged from Father's flesh
a feast for fast
fuel for me

Father flickers further
I was forfeited;
Father has forsaken me
I was faithful.
Cindy Apr 2021
When the belly growls
I turn slowly towards you
Gochisousama.
Cindy May 2021
He didn't have your eyes
Nor your Scorpius freckles Made
for a November baby like me

He didn't have long, clumsy limbs
That tangled in our bedsheets every morning
And pulled me to a kiss at every midnight blue

He was built like Mount. Everest But
couldn't fill the space you left behind
No matter all his storms and avalanches He
couldn't scrape your name off my tongue

For where you kissed my cheek
He slapped his palm across my skin
For where you loved me eternity
He couldn't sweep it all to the sea

He wasn't you;
And thank God for that
Cindy Nov 2021
i could tell you of the warm days that incite my smile,
or the ocean waves that excite my hopeful plight;
the song of bell-birds all the while...
              ... those still nights by the fire-light.
but no sunshine nor sea-side, nor day anew,
or the long loss of self     among the forest hue;
could ever compete     with the charming sight of you.
Cindy Feb 2021
Long after you,

when your scent had stopped staining my sheets
and her holy shadow dissolved from my shoulders,
I saw you by the bus stop on Noorinan Street.

Time washed my age from memory
and the world swept over the sun twice
but I could recall your face for many more centuries.

"Old friend, it's been too long."
So I take in your hand and
unfurl these fingers, retrace those footsteps.
"Come back to mine." And
your smile kissed your eyes like
how you used to look at me
with my head between your thighs,  
my knees dug deep into the soil and all too willingly;
almost naively drowning in your sweet sermons.

Pass five stops, up fifteen steps and seal the exit.
You chuckle at each old friend;

       the sound like sunlight
         glistening,
    fell and folded,
        slow
          on my skin.

This night; there is time
and there is light.

My my,
for now I shall devour
this soft skin, that sharp hip, those blood red lips
My mouth full from prayer
you look down - "Were you happy without me?"
An iron kiss to the breastbone - I breathe; "Yes."

From above
she spewed halo-gold onto my shoulders,
the taste acerbic through salted sweat,
the blaze a-burning bright reminder of why you left

    but I still love you nonetheless.

You place one hand in mine, your other;
preoccupied

Your hand held onto hers,
my hand held onto yours
and nothing more

Long after you,
Cindy Feb 2021
sunlight fell
glisten and gold
come snow;
bloom and bold

my cold hands…    
    she still holds.
Cindy Mar 2021
perhaps I should have folded;
forehead sullied in earth
honour defiled in soil,
to the west winds
to the sacred psalms

perhaps I should have sacrificed;
these hands that make
this heart that beats,
for the old bones
for you.

when an ocean away
couldn't lead this astray;
between two Gods
was who who robbed
this warmth of mine

still I kept;
my hands that fold
my heart that sacrifice,
for the fallen

             for me.
Cindy Apr 2021
I hadn't written a word of God in over two years
He barely speaks to me anymore because he knows
That fame, that fame -

Well… never mind that. Or do mind
What I am trying to say is that:
See fame, see fame...

Look -
I am a liar

and God knows The sorrow I coerce onto paper
are not my own It was for
the fame. The fame

in exchange for all that melancholy
Does anyone want to hear of my successes?
I am happy! I am happy!

But you all do not come
So I lie
Life is miserable, and He had left me…
Cindy Sep 2021
like the way winter warmed
into gold
her hair in the wind
skin glowed as spring breathed
my sister...
     my sister;

light of my love
    … five years late
but heaven's here now.
Cindy Apr 2021
i.

the lapping
           sound
     of her shrilling
as fishermen shuck oysters for silver

pried from bone and not womb
not Buddhist pearl but child;
               fell
from river water.

shuddered the longest night
moon's fragrance       breathless;
               utpala unborn,

the song of starlings
               deaf
in starlight -
among one lone
                           whine

and mother's mantra rebirthed
from sea to ice to earth
to
                           sweeping years

ii.
my call to prayer;

             to observe dawn
                       as the sun summits
                    as I love you;
               to observe dusk
        as light plunge leery

salah, salah, SALAH "salah towards Kaaba!"
                   but only you concluding the qibla.

these Arabian nights long and drawn
I wandered lost and deep in dune
as his back retreat to skyline
his lone pilgrim to Mecca    

         so sun-dust seeks my tongue and eyes
         and I tried
         I tried

                                          mother, lover
                                          heaven's not here.
Cindy Apr 2021
I lapped my lips
in child-like longing -

there was the salted breeze
there was the deep blue sea

and she welcomed me into the wake
and swept me into her wayward womb

my re-awakening -
my first breath!

another chance at life,
where he did not leave me
Cindy Apr 2021
I spent the morning in a dream
where the sound of the bellbird
whipped through the sunlit air

where I was stood in the kitchen
pouring a river into two cups -
one leaf juice; one cocoa syrup

here our thyme garden had not wilted
and this home filled with two heartbeats
when it long-lived with just one

here I spent the morning in a dream
where the wind breezed through my hair
where you loved me still

here;
I spent the morning in a dream...

— The End —