BACK THEN, BEFORE & NOW
(During & just after the relationship.)
While I lay awake, still in bed,
Thinking of, all the things, you, said.
Inside, my heart, is crying, from the pain, of it, all gone,
Thinking, of all our time, together, all the good, & wrong.
Looking back, I knew, and saw, the signs,
When, you were, no longer- mine.
When, I knew, before you, I was in shock,
And, kept thinking, of all the times, you said, I was -your rock.
(The healing process of the relationship.)
I then, tried to fix, it all, to keep it together,
You had already moved forward, and it was, gone, like that, forever.
Then, I realized, it was all gone and done,
And that you had moved on, and found -your one.
All, I wanted to do, was to keep the friendship in tac,
But Nac…(Meaning of slang-NAC=Not a chance)
You, had, moved on, again,
And, I was left confused, and didn’t understand, what you wanted, in a friend.
You, thought(?), that I was still healing, from the rest,
However, I was mainly grieving from loosing my best friend, so yes, maybe I did at times put your patience at a test.
Because, you really didn’t see,
What, you were, really, doing to me.
Even, then, as a friend,
You, leaned on me, as I did to you, to help you move forward, until the very end.
When no one was/when you were down, and helped you, turn your frown, into a smile,
Even, if it, was, just for, a little while.
You, bounced back, each time, and found someone new,
And, this time, it stayed to be true.
You, had moved two steps forward so fast,
And, with out realizing pushed me away/back each time, even though, you were there for me, for for different things, too, I felt, this is why, our friendship, didn’t last.
Being honest, when you tried, however, giving me not really much time to catch up from the shock and process of it all,
And, boy, back then, did I fall…
Lost, to pick up, all the pieces, just watching, as your, friend,
But, at that time, back then, something inside me snapped, I finally broke, and our friendship, had reached, an end.
Because, we were both, in different places, and both had enough,
Each time, we tried, to find that balance, it just became, so tough.
We, just could not get that, balance right,
And, in the end, we had, a couple of huge fights.
Because, neither of us, could see,
What it was doing, to the other, so it was easier, to just let go, and let it be.
One, was grieving, along with the loss of things that they would not have again,
The other, had already done that, and just wanted to, try to keep being, a good friend.
But, what kind of friend? That, was confusing, and hard to know/ find,
All it/each of us needed was, just a lot more time.
Time, to heel from all that change,
Time, to help me/you not look at, all things, the same.
Time, to catch up, from your heart, mind, and head,
Time, to forget, all those words, that were, once said.
Now, they don’t mean what they once were back then,
And time, to heal from the person, you knew, that once was your lifelong partner of a decade, and best friend.
(A few years ago to now.)
From, all that has happened, and all that was left, unsaid, there was no one, to blame,
Things, just back then, and now, are not the same.
I am happy, where life has taken me,
I wish you, all the best, in all the things you, want to do, see, and be.
© By HF-Whisper