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Chani Goldstein Jan 2021
Please, hold me close
in warm embrace.
Feed me close
to a loving face.
Say you love me
as I grow.
Say you're proud
so I will know.
Keep me safe
so I'm not afraid.
Keep me near
to conquer my fears.
Help me explore
the dark of my mood.
Share a laugh
to dispel my gloom.
Shower me with kindness
through the phases of my life
and show me the differences
between what's wrong
and what's right.
Chani Goldstein Apr 2021
Rain drops feeding leaves
Deserts growing cold at night
Spiders spinning homes
Chani Goldstein Apr 2021
Strong winds at my back
Dry leaves 🍁 playing with children
Wet earth's perfumed scent
Chani Goldstein Feb 2021
clothes do make the man
with a warm wind at my back
now I live more carefully
Chani Goldstein Apr 2021
Hemp made canvas bags
Tree trunks thick chocolate bark
Earthworms housing Earth
Chani Goldstein Feb 2021
Messy winds through my hair
Winter coats collected as yesterday's old news
Setting my forgotten self straight
Chani Goldstein Apr 2021
Old houses whistling in memories
Screen doors flapping in the wind
White sheets wrapped in furniture
Echos of children playing
Cool breezes blowing through curtains
Overstuffed bookshelves
Mothers standing in doorways
Spending summers in the mountains with my mother
Chani Goldstein Apr 2021
You're the punch to my stomach
Like a sinking soufflé
Inside of me
Nobody sees.
The mess
Of distress
You left
In your wake
In every place
Of every space
That I had
To be safe.
If, I'd have known
Then
What it meant
To live with you
I'd rather done a line or two
Drink a drink
**** a ****
Cause living with you
Was just no joke.
I understand the meaning of
"Don't do crack!"
But, what else can you do
When humans attack?
Chani Goldstein Apr 2021
Feeding world hunger
Post Covid stress disorder
LGBTQ 🏳️‍🌈
Chani Goldstein Apr 2021
Sad with no reason
He loves me, he loves me not
Overcoming pain
Chani Goldstein Feb 2021
I set my alarm to wake me
Should someone like you
Enter
Into my life.
I am
Awake
Chani Goldstein Feb 2021
I don't want to be lost
Even though I am
Please, send a search party
Don't stop till I'm found
I may be wandering
Or hiding well
I may have gone to a familiar place
And gotten lost on the way
I ran for good reason
Fear swooped me away
My bones aged
I live in pain
Please, come out to find me
I want to be saved
I'm still trying on my own
Come meet me halfway
Chani Goldstein Jan 2021
Past tense
Present tense
Very tense
Me.
First tense
Second tense
Third tense
Me.
Prepositional phrases
Bridge words
Adjectives
Adverbs
Dangling modifiers.
Stories to be told
Of the young
And the old
In me.
Chani Goldstein Mar 2021
I let you in
to pin my hair
and pick out a party dress.
I let you know my
deepest
darkest
secrets.
You said I was safe
in our shared space.
If, however, I'd have known
for one second
for one inkling
of that one second
the thoughts
that were your thoughts
I never would have let you
come near me anymore.
Chani Goldstein Apr 2021
Youth leads us to dreams
We haven't yet glimpsed
Chani Goldstein Feb 2021
Love poems
Are for those
In love
And
For those
Not
Chani Goldstein Apr 2021
He stops to recoil
She leans forward to help him
A bluebird flies by
Silently she tries again
With air thick as smoke
Mothers cry a world away
Boys too young to fight
He opens himself to her
The battlefield rages on
Chani Goldstein Feb 2021
I like myself
When I'm with me.
Most important friend
To be.
A friend indeed
Is a friend in me.
And that's most important too
Because,
Now,
I am
A better friend
For you.
Chani Goldstein Feb 2021
I miss the wind in my hair
And sandals on my feet
I miss the rain
And the beach
I miss my dad
He died of covid
Almost a year
I miss you daddy
Do you see me over here?
Chani Goldstein Feb 2021
A house whistling in emptiness
Continental Educator Chocolate Morsels Farina Brown Sugar
Old linen closets that squeak
Ghosts wrapped in sheets sitting on beds
Ice Box Cookies Thin Mints
Children wrapped in rooms empty of joy
Raisins Honey Almonds Melons Coconuts
Books read to you as you read
Dates Carrots Figs Pomegranates Apples
#hi
Chani Goldstein Apr 2021
Long stemmed red roses
Dew drops making love to leaves
Beehives a buzzing
Chani Goldstein Feb 2021
People exchanging words
Poetic chats
Connecting them
To presents and pasts
Friendships grown
Over a screen
Words read
Known
Understood
And believed
Making friends through Hello Poetry
Chani Goldstein Jan 2021
I am
A chair
A wall
There
Ignored
A floor
A ceiling
A door
Floating
A heart
Barely breathing.
I am
A rhyme
Birthed
Before it's time
Written
Between
The lines.
I am
A tired
Rhythm
Of
Yesterday
Still
In today
Chani Goldstein Feb 2021
I walked into a room where nobody knew my face.
Slowly some approached "Are you so and so?" "Yes." I said.
"You don't look like yourself." No, I think. Clothes do not make the man. The words do. You know my words.
Chani Goldstein Jan 2021
I'm scared
Nighttime falls
The day grows dim
Stars come out
The sun packs it all in
My nervousness rises
Anxiety too
I whisper out loud
"All because of you."
Chani Goldstein Jan 2021
People leave shadows
of themselves
where ever they go,
where ever they've been
in your life.
Sometimes
it's a bad presence
you have to clean.
Sometimes
it's a good presence
you want to keep.
The good is pleasant
to treasure
where ever you go.
The bad is a bad
you need to sever
so you can go.
For some people
there's a lot of
happiness
for others
a lot of grief,
even between children
of the same family.
What you had
they'll want to ignore
so don't go about
measuring yourself
by that penciled
height chart on the door.
Never measure yourself
in anyway
by them,
because
all those sisters or brothers
you had
never woke up
in your skin.
Chani Goldstein Jan 2021
I was a bird
set to fly.
A butterfly
spreading its wings.
A house plant
ready to grow.
Who knows
Where I was heading.
I was a flower,
again.
I was a tree
ready to give shade.
I was a book
prepared to be read.
I was a child
ready to grow.
I was a building
strong and safe
saved
crown molding
around windows
and doors.
You wanted more.
Now, I am but a pen writing.
Chani Goldstein Jan 2021
Patience
Relief
Belief
Trust
Faith
Returns
New beginnings
Hope
Chani Goldstein Jan 2021
Top line
Third line
Me in between
Most comfortable place
I've ever been.
Free
Free
Finally free
To choose
To write
What flows from me
With clarity.
My words
With the guidance
They deserve
Helps shape
A better world.....for me.
Chani Goldstein Jan 2021
Daddy,
Why
do you
tell me
You
love me
only when
You
are drunk
Chani Goldstein Apr 2021
I used to seclude
myself from me
Just to seclude
myself from you
Now, I have moved on.
Chani Goldstein Apr 2021
Corona settled in
With an ocean between us.
I miss the summers warmth
Of your cheek
And the winters cold
Upon your coat.
I miss your scent
Your mess
Your voice
How you dress
I miss you
At night
I don't play scrabble anymore
I wait for you
At the door
In bed
In my head
When will you be back
My life lacks
Your humor
That tickles my funny bone.
Chani Goldstein Mar 2021
Anxiety.
Like a cup of hot coffee.
Spilling. Forward. Flowing.
Debilitating from inside out.
Cursing through my body.
The only one I have.
Chani Goldstein Mar 2021
I used to be thin
out of choice
to shed my weight
to be a boy.
To shed the weight
that made me a girl
the only way I knew
to live in my world.
Now, I know I am short
I'm alright with that
and since I've been eating
I wouldn't call myself fat.
I'd call myself proudly
what I want to be
short, little chunky, girl
"weighting" to be me.
Chani Goldstein Apr 2021
Night falls in the world around me
I realize my day's been good
I Thank God who is all around me
For helping me live the way I could
Chani Goldstein Jan 2021
When nighttime is hit with a winters storm
And I realize I am not alone
When others run for the comfort of light
And I sit calmly and delight
Without the need of a candles warmth
The storm brings the difference
That makes me belong
Attaching me to the rest of the world
This storm we all share
As opposed to my private storm
The storm of my fathers snare
Chani Goldstein Mar 2021
How intent you were as you typed my complaint
Every few minutes you had to stop and wait
To contemplate
Whose crime was it
His or mine
What was I wearing
or not wearing
At the time
To describe my state of mind
Why didn't I fight, run or scream
You put me under scrutiny
Consensual or not
In a parking lot!!
The pain of blame
Over shame
But, today the survivors
And the rest of the world
Should take one step
Outside the dark shadows
Of all boys and girls
And the disgraceful boundaries
We are caged in
Like our **** is our sin
And make it that
Once a year
For one part of that one day
People all over
Shall face what we face
The painful existence
Of a survivors days
Before those last three words
They always say......"Are you sure?"
The word **** is no longer taboo
Chani Goldstein Mar 2021
How intent you were as you typed my complaint
Every few minutes you had to stop and wait
To contemplate
Whose crime was it
His or mine
What was I wearing
or not wearing
At the time
To describe my state of mind
Why didn't I fight, run or scream
You put me under scrutiny
Consensual or not
In a parking lot!!
The pain of blame
Over shame
But, today survivors
And the rest of the world
Should take one step
Outside the dark shadows
Of all boys and girls
And the disgraceful boundaries
We are caged in
Like our **** is our sin
And make it that
Once a year
For one part of that one day
People all over
Shall face what we face
The painful existence
Of a survivors day
Before those last three words
They always say....."Are you sure?"
The word **** is no longer taboo
Chani Goldstein Feb 2021
P
     U
D
O
W
N

All around
Close the fridge
Use your
Hip
Foot
Hand
Knee
That's what it's like
To be me
Twirling dervish
Thinking fast
Do it all
CRASH!!
That's how I stop
or
D
R
O
P
Sinking soufflé
Inside of me
This morning
Happy
Now knotted up
Stuck in my seat
No more
User ability
That's me
Not from time to time
But daily
I need a vitamin
An elixir
A fixer
UPPER
Don't save me
From being me
Confidentially
I'm learning to live
As I am
But it's hard
When I'm doing well
And bam!!
Please world
Take
Not my disease
But me
For who I am
This takes a lot to publish. I suffer from mixed state bipolar
Chani Goldstein Apr 2021
"What time is it?" We used to ask
"Time I knew better." She used to say
"What time is that?" I used to ask
"Do more, speak less and bring me a glass🥃
Chani Goldstein Jan 2021
Although I have
Nothing to say
I still want
To sit quietly
By your side
And take in
Our love
Chani Goldstein Feb 2021
I want to sit by you
And share my thoughts.
Our love is an adventure
In time and shared experiences.
And should the time come
That we are no longer greedy
For our time
And experiences
It means no more than
We have set our faces
Apart from each other.
I will help you
Look forward
To these shared experiences
With me
Today
And forever
Chani Goldstein Jan 2021
There is happiness and love
and pain and sadness
around all of us
and in all of us.
We choose words
as our medium
to the world.
Our words flow.
We hope to reach
kindred spirits everywhere
and if we are prepared
we listen
even to ourselves.
Chani Goldstein Jan 2021
How come a song can rock
But a person not?
How come a crib can rock
But a person not?
Parties rock
Cars rock
But a person should not
rock.
Do not shake.
Do not rock.
Do not shake and rock.
Do not shrock.
Do rocks rock?
Hey mam, this rock rocks.
Bread can be hard as a rock.
Is that a compliment?
No it is not.
I rock!!!
Rocks are strong!
Chani Goldstein Apr 2021
I used to hate myself,
because you hated me.
What a waste of energy.
Today I have moved on from you
and closer over to me.
Chani Goldstein Jan 2021
Green is spring
with floral scents
After
winters white
cold presence
Summer rolls in
with its
heat and haze
Bathing us in
bright long days
of ice cream wrappers
and children's songs
as vacations
pull us along
Fall
leaves
summer behind
its colorful nature
there to remind
us
Winters white
is
back on its way
Any day now
Any day
Chani Goldstein Apr 2021
Old men playing chess
Patients sitting nervously
LGBTQ
Chani Goldstein Apr 2021
You have made my life easier
Since I have known you.
You have made my days prettier
Since I have known you.
You may not know who you are
But, I do
And I will make sure
You know this
From now on.
Chani Goldstein Feb 2021
Sometimes we laugh
Sometimes we cry
The people around us
Wonder why
What makes us happy
What makes us sad
What makes us smile
What makes us mad
And that's alright
If they use the information well
To help us through
Days of hell
Sadness is a sort of spell
That transports us
Back to the shell
Of what we were
Before the sadness came to life
And doing all we could to survive
Cut off a bit
Split
I try today
A return trip
So afraid
Of all my truths
Of yesterday
Chani Goldstein Apr 2021
Sun rise is my time of inspiration.
Its performance of every season.
It is always there.
The beauty of a mornings fog lifting.
The days rolling in.
We do some of the same,
and some of the different
we create.
Life is great,
even when it doesn't feel great.
And as surly the sun sets
the evening rise rolls in,
and mornings morrow will return
to do it all again.
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