We butchered our oppressors
became the new suppressors
we were the elite professors
punish unwashed confessors
The beats are howling for truth
angry wolves in need of a fix
in a pack in Central Park at
3 am, junkies on the prowl.
They won't be denied a deity.
Ginsberg's Howl their Bible.
I remember your touch I hunger for
like the night we became us on the
back stairs as the party faded away
into white noise and my heart beat
into yours and I knew my world just
fell to pieces and broken promises
and broken children were coming.
I relive it one second at a time.
I still look for you everywhere
trying to find the back stairs.
Just be my breath and heartbeat for a start.
Be the stories that made me fiercely weep.
Every lust that ever brought me to an end,
the absolute to my doubt, strength to my fear.
Be my broken vows and promises forgiven.
Be my gentle ending when my end is here.
It almost drove me crazy
that sound of a low thrum
like electric through wires
all who died sorrow's hum.
She died in some drive by
put to rest beat of a drum
just push off don't come back
go my way to a place I'm done.
They live in crypt like bars
stained yellow with cigarettes
smoked over too many years.
Livers surrendered long ago
give them ugly yellow eyes
and skin the color of ****.
The stench of alcohol clings
like way too much cologne.
They never sleep. They just
pass out. Come to for a drink.
They just die day to day
while we all look away.
I believe my country has died.
Defeated Lady Liberty on her knees
with a Scimitar for her beheading.
Communists crawling into her guts
for the final feeding as we all hold
impotent guns without bullets.
In ROTC I dared to grow my hair.
On the cusp of hippy life with
burned bras and free love and
smoking hash I dumped my baggage.
I joined a circus going to Boston.
I was baptized in saltwater. Plum Island.
I made love to love tilting at windmills.
In my attic I learned the hard truths.
The People's Almanac was my bible and
those who held my heart my confessors.
There were leaves barking
and dogs fluttering in the wind
birds were swimming in deep water
and fish were flying in the clouds.
Communists defined their reality
made the rules put us all in gulags
wore big hats and lifts in their boots
in mansions they killed us bit by bit.
Yellow Sticky Notes
Ultrasound to see alien in J's womb.
Pick up Bailey at 3 from daycare.
Take Bailey to shrink for anxiety.
Walk Bailey down her wedding aisle.
Pick up Bailey's son from daycare.
Drop off the **** to the cleaners.
Take your blood pressure meds.
Mom and Dad 50th anniversary Dec. 12.
Pick K and S up at the orphanage for w/e.
Dinner at Robin and James Saturday.
Mike and Kim at the Keg Tuesday at 5.
Pack L and me lunch for tomorrow.
Dori for drinks at pub friday.
Tennis w/ Fuji sunday 10.
Katie and Sean this w/e in Columbus.
Xcountry skiing lesson w/ Dori.
Lunch w/ Marc at Crossroads food court.
Mojave desert sandstorm with L.
T and I wed at JP at noon Wednesday.
A life out of sequence
Drink in dark bars at noon.
Drive by hookers on displays
down boulevards of dreams
where pleasure never stays.
Smoke **** without filters
drinking shots and draft beer
wife hunts me bar by bar.
day drags into night no fear.
We always face consequences.
Silent treatment. Sleep alone.
I look for a job in morning.
Real men, dogs without a bone.
don't let me in.
I wear hair shirts
confess sins I make up
for my demanding God
burn me cut me
where the hell
did I come from?
I pray harder to
keep us all alive
with my suffering.
I lost myself among the frozen stars
in the dark palette of a cold midnight.
Nowhere left to go I came by your door
for old times and knocked. You were gone.
You were never here. Pretend marriage.
Me with a wife and 2 young kids and mad
as a hatter I fell down the rabbit hole
where we played house and thought we
were in love. We were burned by lust
and divorced and last time I saw you
**** in your dorm and me leaving for
Boston next day. We killed a 12 pack
and pretended one last time at love
and I went away and lived my life as
best I could you always on my mind
but knowing better. I came home to
see my kids and came by to see you.
I lost myself among the frozen stars
in the dark palette of a cold midnight.
Nowhere left to go I came to your grave
whispering your name as a prayer.
I've held on as long as I can
to this slippery eel of life
that feels all wrong for me.
I never found "The One".
I never measured up.
I float away from time
with a needle in my arm
and finally a true smile.
As angels go Dorothy was my favorite!
She knew our talents. She believed.
She helped us believe in ourselves.
She laughed the hardest, she loved us all,
she led these lost souls into places of peace.
We miss you dearly. I miss you most of all.
The scarecrow, tin man and cowardly lion.
We'll meet at the end of the yellow brick road.
Love to our dear friend, Dorothy Rengsdorff.
Before the storm all was right.
It tore us to shreds and then left.
Dorothy's tornado took us to Oz.
We've never found our way back.
I get the tin man with no heart.
Courage is lacking in us all and
brains are in short supply. So?
Look for the yellow brick road.
miss the ball
**** it all
give me a call.
a trip to the mall
buy a spot
to be my plot
bury my ashes
in lightening flashes
while we live on
until we are gone.
Government agents crawl our hills
the tax parasites after our stills.
What we make is our own free to taste
so leave us out of your ******* waste.
We die in your coal mines for you.
Death's enough for us to pay our due.
Poets are the liberating gods.
Closer to truth and lies and
every **** bent thought we
ever had that shames us until
it's in a poem to set us free to
break the chain we hold onto.
I find a mood and settle in its nest.
Full of laughter full of pain rich
beyond my dreams where I reach the
edges of my poet soul and find words.
Bits and pieces are hurled into verse
that might express the universe or at
least my journey to my understanding
****** up as it is of why we're here
and not there instead of now.
Nothing else matters after all.
Tonight I smell something in the air.
The city's burning down in despair.
The water's up to my ankles on the deck.
I feel the noose tightening on my neck.
I'm in dad's bomber in fields of flack
we're on fire and aren't coming back.
I was dragged to a whipping post
and ******* desperate naked angry.
Bring blood from lashes of a devil's
tongue until I'm moved to creation.
Writing poetry is a lonely effort
full of doubt. No one likes a word.
I drink me insane and set it on fire
I burn lines of smoldering emotion.
You took a small boat
to the middle of the China Sea
puking all the way for
samples of eons ago when
dinosaurs roamed the earth.
Science is not for the weak.
Priced as marked or best offer.
Some damaged more than others.
A small tear
a workplace affair
a bigger tear
a torrid affair with broken promises
devastated barely pumps
he always cheated and blamed her
blown out selling for parts
he betrayed and took the kids
she overdosed and stabbed her heart
for good measure. Tears roll down
but can never make things right.
Make an offer after all why not?
He had to flee his Ireland.
The God ****** British
stole his life and land.
He floated to America.
John Donovan from Cork
was my great grandpa.
Stubborn as a mule and
strong as an ox he lived.
There's a deep dark hole
for Irishmen to bury anger.
Soon enough the Earth will burn to a cinder from Irish anger.
we've all played it.
Spin the wheel and ****.
Is this forever after?
Wake blinking in a bed
smelling of *** and regret.
Do the walk of shame.
I start looking for night at noon
in dark bars waiting on bar stools.
I couldn't sleep in a raging sea of a
thousand clowns and useless fools.
I live in asylums' promises of hope.
The storm is coming for us all again.
Find a home find a harbor an anchor
find a wife who will forgive that sin.
She was terrorized of heights.
I marveled at her bravery and
pain that put her on that cliff
she jumped and broke hearts
and more lives than she knew.
We gather mute to mourn.
Making love in the pouring rain
cleanse our bodies of cheater's stain
we love more than we understand
lust's baptism is never planned.
old soldiers sporting bravery's medals
then comes the blaring marching band
next are the clowns and the jugglers
children waving flags don't understand
still too young to know war's truth
soon enough it will be their turn
fresh young faces eager for glory
will march into their hell and burn.
I'm old and my body won't hold me anymore.
My insides shift low in gravity and bones
shrink brittle and cracked ready to break.
Skin as thin as death veils hiding misery
I yearn for those lost years so long ago
when men lusted for me and I for them.
I'm going to say goodnight
and say my prayers
and hope to God
there won't be bears!
Momma blew her
brains out loud.
No one told me why.
She chose to die.
It had to be my fault.
I always made her cry.
I wished her happy.
I wrote her poetry
comedy and tragedy.
She could have drowned
or jumped to her death
leaving a ****** mess
she chose a gunshot instead.
Painted the kid's walls red.
Her messy death left her scream for the rest of my life. She loved dramatic exits. I still miss you, Momma!
I wrote this for 2 gunshot suicides I heard about second hand and my heart broke for the kids who found Mommy dead in a mess she'd never leave.
I have a vampire cat
sleeps all day
up all night
I bet she has
a magic cape
I've never seen
her in a mirror.
I sleep with a cross.
wind roars and thunder crashes
prophets warn all the masses
all our bones reduced to ashes
minds set free see only flashes
of truth free from mortal lies
tears spill from blinded eyes.
I float above my body in a box.
I look like I'm made of wax.
I'm never happy with the crowd.
This one seems way too loud.
My kids speak. Make me proud
to be who I am in death's shroud.
You broke my heart again.
I don't feel less a man.
When I was young romance
was worth taking the chance.
I have a metal heart and you
have a bullet proof kiss.
Love ages ugly it's due.
Always a swing and a miss.
We put Jesus away for the week
back to our world for the meek.
Slaves 9 to 5 and kids at night.
I disagree and lose another fight.
I drink beers and man the grill.
Drunk enough to sleep I eat a pill
for an easy landing tomorrow,
another week survive the sorrow.
I'm 72 and I'm drunk
and fearless and still
think I'll live forever
even though I know
I'd be the first one and
all my friends are dying
and I can't play checkers
alone or take trips down
memory lane by myself.
When the mirror became a window
I finally saw me as I've always been.
I saw the storm of war blood that
goes on forever through its martyrs
veins both living and dead destroying
happiness with wounds of memories.
Let's not just retire.
Waiting to die as we
live diminished and
more bored each day.
Let's run away to the
night we met and fell
into astonishment as one
and never looked back.
Let's go to the photo booth
where we snapped proof.
Travel to the night we made
our daughter against all odds.
The whole **** thing was
splendid chaos. Nothing
went as planned.
Marriage was a farce and
kids chess pieces for lawyers.
We survived until we didn't.
Is it the holy water baptism?
Christ's body at Communion?
Bishop Catechism questions at
the come of age Confirmation?
Joining you 2 souls in marriage?
Forgiving sins with loose change
a few Hail Mary's and light a
holy candle for forgotten dead.
it makes us better
never quit trying.
always on our backs
a time bomb to
keep us guessing
when when when
the answer is
too late to matter
too late to change.
I've been drinking
since the river took
her from my arms.
I hold despair as
my lover now.
We've changed, we're old.
If I had another chance
to taste you I would.
Give me a glance
see me young again
stars and breaking
old, fat, forgotten.
Hanging on old bones
I'm parchment skin
my story tattooed
litanies of my sin.
I rattle when I breathe
and forget most things
except my lovers and
my wedding rings.
We were children playing house.
Always on our knees for religion
praying to keep the monsters away.
We grew up and married one and only.
We are older children playing house.
We have kids. We just say no to religion.
We drink, smoke and take pills to dance
with monsters once we soiled our souls.
I fall in love easily. A heart,
biology, chemistry and **** if
I'm not in love with you now.
In bed I'm intense carny rides.
Lust is a vacation for a month.
Seaside makes me want city life.
I'm riding the edge of my mind
2 kids and a fat wife I deserted
before I played house with all
you other disappointed lovers.
Playing House When a young, unmarried couple buys a residence together with the hope of living out their dreams of an ideal home life. In most instances, the immaturity of the young couple and harsh reality of their home life soon sets in, causing a stress related failure of the relationship.
I brought you to life
in a poem. You'll never
love in moderation. Love
screams out loud and catches
its breath and sleeps forever.
Then it happens again Tuesday.