I don't want your money,
I don't want you to open your wallet to buy me roses or to buy me dinner,
No,
I want the most expensive thing you have,
I want your time,
I want you to pick up the phone when I call you,
It was never money for me,
Remember when we were two broke 12 year olds with absolutely no money,
I wanna go back to that,
I wanna see that smile on your face,
That passion in your eyes,
I don't want you to slave your life away,
I want you to enjoy it with me,

I wanna dance with you,
I wanna sing with you,
I wanna be those two drunk 20 year olds dancing on the club floor,
Without a care in the world,

Remember our first fight,
We yelled at each other,
But then we were quiet,
One sentence that's all we could get out before we shunned ourselves,
Because that fight wasn't worth seeing the pain in the others eyes,

So when I say come home,
Don't tell me your earning money for us,
Come home means come home,
Sit down,
Watch a movie with me,
And between the two of us share a nice bottle of wine

I faced the world at a young age,
I found those dearest to me to be complete strangers,
Society tried to cut me wings,
And when they grew back,
They burnt them,
And then left me injured alone,
To die,

I remember sitting alone in the dead of the night with my burnt wings,
Nothing but ashes surrounding me,
Scar tissue forming,
Blood falling,
Heavy breathing,
Screaming,
Pain,
So much pain,
It wouldn't stop,
I couldn't breathe,
I couldn't breathe no matter how hard I tried,
I tried to scream for help,
But no sound came,
It felt like I was drowning in my own tears,
Chest rising and falling,
Each breath felt as if it was the last,

But no I couldn't let them win,
Not like this,
They thought I was dead,
I was alive,
Barely,

I'm pretty sure death was sitting waiting for me to die,
But I was so stubborn,
I chose to stand,
No matter how bad it hurt,
I walked,
A trail of blood formed behind me,

My wings were gone,
But that wasn't going to stop me,
I built my own wings,
Built them out of gold,
So that no one could cut them again,
No one could burn them again,

My dreams are my own,
And I am never going to give up on them,
I look at the trail of blood,
That has long faded,
And it reminds me how strong I am,
And that your dreams are yours to achieve,
Don't believe a word they tell you,
How dare they try to cut your wings,
How dare they let their own get cut,

Let me leave you with this,
Fly darling,
Fly,
Reach for the highest sky,
And then space,

Your wings are your own,
And if you don't have them,
Build them,
No matter how long it takes

Life. What is life?
What is life,
when I am constantly running in circles,

What is life
When the meaning of love gets lost?

What is life when you feel like everyone’s telling you what to do,
And You feel powerless,

What is life when you sit in front of a computer,
Typing out your feelings,
Because no one will hear,

But they will suggest,
Not realizing that their suggestions make the eyes heavy,
And the heart heavier,
And the conscience the heaviest

I emailed a name when I was eighteen, a request to join a German class after add/drop week had passed. They said, “it is a bit late now, but I would welcome you in the class”. Strings of emails went between us, emails I shall remember, emails with pure kindness in them. Because kindness continued to exist beyond emails. Because I told my roommate how kind they were in their emails. Because my roommate read their emails too. Because his name was genderless; much like his heart. Because his class felt safe from the first day. Because for once I wasn’t on guard in a class on my first day. Because in other classrooms I was. Because he and five boys felt safe. Because his classes were at night. Because he became a dad to me. Because he was madly in love with his wife. Because he spoke of her so fondly; Because he was in love with her. Because he was not tired of her. Because he gave me hope. Because he was a stranger who I told that I was dying. Because he wished me well when I went under surgery. Because he reminded my roommate of a golden retriever. Because my roommate had never met him and knew if she was ever in danger that he was a sanctuary. Because an accusation was thrown on him. Because an accusation was thrown on I. Because I carry the heart of a fatherless child. Because the world wishes to keep me fatherless. Because the first words out of my mother’s mouth were “is the person who said this childless?”. Because childless people do not understand the hearts of children, especially fatherless children. Because fatherless adults wish to compare themselves to fatherless children. Because I was in the fifth grade when my teacher’s father passed. Because she said “now we both don’t have fathers”. Because when I was eighteen, my teacher missed her pop-pop dearly. Because she told me I loved him in a way that women love their men. Because it was a reminder that I am a fatherless child. Because I went home and cried. Because I still cry. Because I cried so much, I scared my roommate. Because I wrote him an email saying “I wish to discuss something in person”. Because he emailed back ten minutes later asking me if I was okay. Because he gave me the number for campus police. Because he thought I was in danger. Because he shared with me a complete hand-out of every resource available in Indiana. Because he was worried. Because he emailed me. Because he said he would be in his office the day prior to class. Because he had a passion for teaching. Because he was my male role model. Because I told him about my love for rock music. Because I told him I could drive a Jet-Ski. Because I wasn’t scared of him. Because I was never scared of him. Because I wasn’t scared of the name welcoming me in class. Because Ich kann Deutsch.

I lay in bed,
Wondering when was the last time I felt joy,
Happiness I could remember,
Happiness can be bought,
Joy can't,
What happens when the pain is all you know,
What happens when you normalize it,
What happens when this is the new normal and joy is nothing but a mere memory?
It's a feeling I know all too well

To my soul mate,
I know times may be tough,
And there comes a time when you are all alone,
Where days go by without a smile,
Where the bottle is all you have to drown your sorrows,
You get up to the sound of an alarm everyday,
Going to a place you don't even like,
A place where you aren't appreciated,
You want to leave,
But you hold it together,
Just a few more months you tell yourself,

At night as you lie awake,
Hearing the clock tick,
You remember me,
You want to tell me things,
Things that you don't even want to tell yourself,
Nightmares that you feel only I can free you from,

But those nightmares aren't what your truly scared of,
Are they?
What you're truly scared of is being loveless in this world,
How your shoulders carry the fear and burden of the seven suns I truly wonder,
Your mom is the only person there,
And your scared to lose her,
Because you feel as if she is the only one that loves you without condition,

It's true though,
This world is cruel and selfish,
People will lie to you,
Make you think they're me,
But they're not,
And when you find out,
Your heart shatters into a million pieces,

But you,
You don't let it end you
You pick up those pieces,
Your hands bleed,
But you fix your heart again,
Like the million times you have before,

Those nightmares often seem to lock you inside a metal box,
That you can't seem to let anyone enter,
And the box becomes smaller and smaller,
Until you are drowning in your own blood,
Those nightmares make you feel like I don't exist,
That God really set you on this path alone,

But that simply isn't true,
I'm here,
And darling,
I can promise you whether I am with you or not,
There will always be someone to fill that spot,
Until I can fill it forever,
And I promise you when I meet you,
Ill replace that glass heart of yours with gold,
So that no one may shatter it ever again

I had nothing in life,
Every day was pitch black,
Dad was dead,
We were barely getting by,
The same mundane routine every day,
I'd get off from school,
Only to get beaten by my uncle who for lack of a better word was a drunk,

I remembered screaming,
Crying,
But he wouldn't stop,
And when I complained to my grandparents siblings,
They laughed it off as it were one big joke,
It was funny to them,
To see an eight year old complain about being abused,

I was ten when I met the worst teacher ever,
She yelled at me for using the wrong pen,
A freakin pen,
It was my first day in that school,
It only got worse from their,
Anything would make this woman mad,
From getting an answer wrong to wearing the wrong ponytail,
Nothing could make her happy,

When I was eleven,
I published my first story online,
People,
Even family laughed at me,
They said no one would like my work,
And when I got a call from a publishing house to publish in their magazine weekly,
They didn't want me to accept it,
Saying that it was a waste of my time,
That I should focus more on school,

I took it,
They thought I was a fool,
But I kept on going,

When I was fifteen,
I wrote my first poem,
And when I said I was going to publish in an anthology,
They called me a liar,
Saying my work could have not been that great,

But what is the point of telling you all this,
The point is,
That people will hurt you at every step of your life,
And then when you're successful,
Open their hands and ask for their share,
People are mean,
People take enjoyment in hurting others,

My wings were bleeding,
They had so many cuts,
And when I tried to fly,
It hurt so much,
And when I rebuilt them,
They tried to cut them again,
But their scissors broke,
Because I built them out of gold

You say I give you mixed signals,
I push you away,
But you won't leave me alone,
You want me to trust you,
Be with you,
But how do I know your different from the others,
That you won't just walk out,
Piercing my heart into pieces which my bleeding hands will have to pick up,

I love you,
I really do and I want to spend the rear of my life with you,
But darling,
How can I trust you when I don't even trust myself,

It's a scary thought to trust you with the most vulnerable parts of myself only for you to walk out,
See I tried to share myself with others before,
Only to get hurt,
It was like walking on eggshells,
Some walk out,
And I thank them,
For others used my vulnerability against me,

So you see,
I want to trust you,
But this heart doesn't,
This heart that loves you,
Doesn't want to trust you cause it's been broken many times,
And the only thing holding it together is a single drop of glue,
One it fears you will remove,
And then this heart will fall forever upon the endless pits of doom,

You're a great friend,
And I feel comfortable sharing things with you,
But some things I don't want to share,
Not even with myself,

It is better to not tell you the way I feel,
For we are better as friends,
Friends are all that we are,
And it is all I say to you everytime you say I give you mixed signals,
Friend you are,
Lover you are not.

Broken, shattered, dreamer,
Those are the words, I would use to describe me,
My smiles are fake,
It’s just so easy to fool people

You know how it feels to listen to everyone’s problems and be their sponge,
When no one is there for you,
Who’s my sponge?

I have two great friends and I love them,
But sometimes even with them, I feel lonely,
They share their problems with me, whether it be relationship drama or family drama,
But unfortunately the same can’t be said for me,

Our lives are worlds apart, while she worries gets mad at her boyfriend for not answering her call,
I wonder if I’ll lose the house I grew up in,
I have dealt with fake people my entire life,
People who, if you placed two plates in front of, along with a hungry child,
Would eat one plate and save the other for later, rather than to give it to the hungry child
The worst part of it, they were family, people I thought I could trust
Greed truly destroys those you hold dearest.

I am 104 kg and 6ft,
I constantly hear “You should lose some weight”
What do you think I am trying to do, I stopped eating processed foods, went on walks and was happy my weight stabilized,
then you had to run your ******* mouth

What is it about you?
Why can't you mind your own business?
Why is it that you find it okay to imply to my mother that my dressing is inappropriate, just because I wasn't wearing a duppatta

You judge my clothes,
Are you bothered by the fact that I rock both traditional and western clothes?
Are you afraid of the bold moves I make?
Are you afraid that your ladies are no longer under your control?
Let me tell you this, I am no man's Sabene, and I will not back down

Sabene is a phoenix,
her wings, you will never cut
You may burn her with your words,
but from those ashes, she shall rise,
Bolder, Braver and Freer than ever.

They assigned us our gender at birth,
As if it were the only thing that mattered,
Those were the first shackles confined to us,
You were three when you heard the words men don't cry,
I was eight when I heard,
You are a girl you can't do that,
On and on they tied more chains to us,
We were bleeding,
Our souls were screaming,
But no words escaped our mouths,

They made fun of us when we were just kids and they were grown adults,
Teachers,
They said were your role models,
Little did they know,
Those same people that they called role models,
They added more shackles,
Shackles that were so heavy for our small bodies,
But we carried them along with every thing else,

Walking home from school,
We heard the Aunties talking behind our backs,
Some said it to our faces,
Lose some weight,
Girls aren't supposed to be tall,
Boys don't sing,
Boys are supposed to be tough,

Boys shouldn't,
Girls shouldn't,
Boys don't,
Girls don't,
That's all we heard,
We wanted to scream,
But we couldn't,

They cut our wings,
And then burnt them right infront if our very eyes,
Tears shed from those eyes,
But we were quiet,

At night when it was silent,
And everyone was asleep,
We couldn't fall asleep,
Those racing thoughts in our head,
The dreams we locked up pounded to get out,
The screams trapped inside if us,
All came at night,
You weeped ever so quietly,
That no one could hear you,
So that to anyone listening it was dead quiet,

Why you ask,
Why were we quiet,
Because they were our elders,
We expected them to guide us,
But they did the opposite,
They tied us,
Beat us,
And when we showed them the blood,
They ignored it,
They blamed us for the blood they caused,
And then they wonder why we end our lives,

Death so silent,
It reminds us of us,
We stayed quiet to keep our elders pleased,
And death so silent to keep us at ease,
But sometimes it will whisper you are free,
Only to find broken shagments of a soul that was once there

She fell,
Fell from the heavens,
With skin as bright as the moon,
With skin that glowed as bright as the sun,
She was heaven,
And she was hell,
She was kind,
And she was mean,
She was humble,
She was proud,
She was happy,
She was sad,
Who was she but the most beautiful person I had ever seen,

I saw the first tree,
I was in,
Into the woods,
I could hear him,
Coming behind me,
I could hear dad say,
I'm going to catch you,
He caught me that day,
And the next,
And the next,
Until he was not there,
Until he was no more than a memory

“Perfect pose, perfect hair,
O how my aunty sings, “A young lady should be disciplined”
My mother adds in, “It’ll be easier to get you married, if you listen to your dear Aunty”
I had to be perfect and I was,

I was like a doll and my mother and aunty played house with me
They picked my clothes, my hair and if I was ever to be questioned at dinner, they would answer for me.
I didn’t mind it not at all, I thought this was how every little girl lived
As a child, the adults answered for her, and as an adult, her husband answered for her.
It was all swell, me being my obedient self, unhappy as I was”

Then one day, tired of being a doll,
I jumped from the window,
Where friends old and new waited for me,
I played till the sun went down and when I returned home,
I was met with disappointed faces.

The next morning, my mother sent me packing to the palace, irritated with my shenanigans
I was scared at first but now I realize I came home to freedom,
I imagine the face of my mother, if she saw me now,
Instead of tea cups and dresses,
She would see that I would be with armor and sword

Hi y'all. It seems that you all are enjoying my poems. I have an Instagram account @poetrybysabene where I post poems, stories and quotes daily. I'd appreciate a follow.

I'm less upset about the fact that you lied to me,
And more upset about the fact that you wasted my time,
My time,
The most expensive thing I own,
You're a smart thief,
Taking the thing I value the most,
The thing I have the least of,

What did you think it would work on me,
Me whose been lied to and cheated so many times that I can tell a lie from a truth in an instant,
The only thing that hurts is that I didn't find out sooner,

And when I called you out on it,
You tried to lie again,
What good was it?
Didn't you know we were done for,

You don't think I found out what you wanted after that first lie,
The lie that ended it all,
The lie that showed just how rotten your soul was,

The lie that made me end it all,
That's right,
I ended it,
Not you,
Because what is gold compared to street trash,
No wonder why no one wanted to talk to you,

Now I wonder was your illness also a lie,
A deceit,
A way to trick someone,

To hell with you,
Let me leave with this,
I am a Phoenix,
I am reborn from my own ashes,
That is the power I hold,
To give the gift of life at will,
To heal,
To become a flame so powerful that it has the power to heal but also the power to destroy,
That is what I am,

The time spent with you was a mistake,
And one I have dearly learnt from

What is it about you,
That I can't even resist your charm,
I don't think it's your eyes which are as black as the night sky,
I don't think it's your hair which shines brighter than the golden yellow sun,
Is it because your kind?
Is it because your funny?
I don't know,
Maybe it's all of those things,
I will never know
And you'll never know that I liked you,
Because you don't exist,
The perfect boy doesn't exist

You may think you know what love feels like
but I don't think you do,
Love is when you feel
as if the entire warmth of the universe has suddenly filled your heart,
Love is when you heart
pounds at the very sight of the person you love,
Love is when just the thought of them makes you smile,
Love is when they add to your joy and sit with you in
your sadness,
It isn't about physical intimacy
But rather it's when two people weave together into one,
The other incomplete without their partner,
It's when the two of you together are invincible,
And to my darling,
Wherever you are,
I am patiently waiting for you,
Come when you're ready

The world is broken,
The world is a mess,
Because we made it that way
- Sabene Rizvi

You requested to follow me,
You were in your forties,
I was fifteen,
I ask you why you requested to follow me,

You say we can be friends,
I say shame on you,
You say you don't have friends?
I ask you to stop, your behavior is inappropriate,

I am sure I am not the first girl you have done this to,
and I know that I will not be the last,
but Let me tell you this,
I am not like those girls,

I am not one of those innocent and bubbly girls,
you can not groom me and when you try,I call you out on it,
You say you respect me,
then you try it again,

You say everyone is a stranger until they talk,
you and others complain what's wrong with our society,
well let me tell you,
You are what is wrong with the society,

And sadly, our justice system has failed us,
Creeps like you, wander free,
Ready for your next victim

15, tall, confident, female,
Those are the words one uses to describe me,
People think they know me when  they don’t,
My English teacher called me confident as a compliment,
But that couldn’t be further from the truth,
I am insecure and those insecurities have gotten the beat of me,
But I don’t let them drag me down,
I walk like I run the place because I know I can and one day I will actually run the place,
You call me a cheerful joyous person,
I’m a depressed person,
I smile because I know it can improve someone’s day,
I smile because I know the struggle and I know just seeing a smile form on someone’s face when you arrive,
Makes you feel loved and worthy,
And I want you to know that you are,
And I tell myself that I am too,
It is known that Man’s enemy is man himself,
But I want you too know that you don’t have to be the enemy,
You can be the support, the friend,
As man’s true friend is himself,
As Albus Dumbeldore said,
The happiest man in earth will look into the mirror and see himself exactly as he is.

I look out the car window,
I see the bushes in the middle of the road flying past,
They remind me of how my life is ebbing away,
One day I was five,
And the next I was 15

I woke up that day in a good mood.
It was six in the morning.
I ran to the barracks where I trained with the guards, my friends.
Being pure bred warrior was tough work, so the hours went by un-noticed.

Soon the clock struck 8, we all ran towards our various duties in the royal palace.
For me, it was the throne room belonging to a woman, I absolutely hated.
But my duty wasn’t so bad, at least I had a friend with me.
We presented, only to be dismissed,
For today was the reunion and her majesty wanted us to dearly attend.

A knock at my door was all I heard.
When opened, it revealed a flustered best friend, questioning why I wasn’t ready.
My best-friend dressed me in a ball gown despite my protests,
I thought she wanted the best for me.

O how naïve, I was.

THE FEAR OF JUDGEMENT, PANIC AND WORRY SETTLE IN,
AS THE SUN FADES INTO CLOUDS,
NAY IT IS NOT SETTING,
BUT MERELY IT IS GOING AWAY SO THAT THE RAIN MAY COME,
BUT MY PANIC IS NOT FROM THE SUN GOING AWAY,
IT IS FROM THE FACT THAT I DECIDED TO SHARE MY LOVE FOR MAKING VIDEOS WITH THE WORLD,
IT IS THE FEAR OF BEING JUDGED THAT HAS TAKEN OVER ME,
IT WAS MY FRIEND’S IDEA,
SHE SAID YOU MAKE GREAT VIDEOS AND I THINK YOU COULD GO VIRAL,
BUT WHAT IS THE PRICE OF GOING VIRAL,
IS IT YOUR MENTAL OR EMOTIONAL HEALTH,
WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE WILL BE THERE,
WILL THEY BE KIND LIKE THE ONE’S WHO LIKED AND REPLIED TO MY COMMENTS ON OTHER CREATORS VIDEOS,
OR WILL THEY BE MEAN AND CRUEL HEARTED,
ONE CAN ONLY WAIT AND SEE IF THE STORM MEETS YOU OR THE RAINBOW

Poor Kitty, Poor Kitty,
What will she say,
I ended up in the hands of monsters who used me to their selfish gain,

I wondered what I did wrong,
I wonder what people will say about this,
Of course they can’t use the same excuses that are used to dismiss cases of innocent humans,
I’m a cat,
I can’t be dressed inappropriately,

I wonder why did they hurt me,
I wonder why they hurt the boy who tried to save me,
I wonder why my fellow cat was stepped on,
Or why my fellow cat was set on fire,

But alas I can not know,
I can not ask,
Why you ask,
Because I’m a cat and I can’t talk,
I’m voiceless,

Voiceless,
It’s so easy to take advantage of the voiceless,
And I’m not the only animal suffering,
While you read this,
Hundreds have suffered and died,
And hundreds will continue to,

So please sign the petitions and please bring justice to me and my fellow animals,
So that no creature is set on fire, stepped on or taken advantage of again,
So no cruel experiments are done,
My poor elephant sister who the humans so cruelly fed dynamite to,
She died a slow and painful death and so did I.

How strange is it, that in a world where people are repelled by the very essence of a storm,
I feel welcomed by lightning,
Why is it that my eleven year old classmates screamed at the sound of lightning?
Fear lingered in each scream of theirs yet my heart felt warm, welcomed.

It was as if I was the leader and the storm my armada,
It besieges me with its roaring and I summon to its call,
Two days ago, it did the same and while my neighbors children ran inside,
I walked outside to hear the lightning thrash, its rumble, a sweet melody to my soul.

I sometimes feel as if I have power inside me, a power that I cannot harvest.
I feel it singing to my heart in the saddest of times, repairing the cracks and edges,
And in the most joyous of occasions, bringing a joy that though great does not last for eternity
It seems to me that that power has a mind of its own and it knows when and where to appear but
That when the storm calls to it, it submissively appears.

It never answers to the sound or smell of rain, it always answers to the lightning,
It doesn’t answer to the bluest of sky but rather the ashiest-grayest sky.
It makes me wonder, if the power is fire, not human fire, but rather fire of the soul
And to the storm, I shall wait for your next call.

I looked out the window,
it was the only thing that could calm me,
well that and Nan's tea,
But nan was dead and so was everything that made me happy,

I stood there, just staring out the 2nd floor bathroom window,
somehow the silence, the streetlight and the potted plants on our neighbors balcony calmed me,
I wasn't having a panic attack,
No it was just my friend anxiety,

Anxiety and I met when I was a mere 10 years old,
I never liked her, no one could,
And she wasn't just my friend but rather everyone's,
She was like one of those toxic people who you could never seem to get rid of,

My thoughts came to a halt when I heard a rooster cluck,
It was an odd hour for a rooster to cluck,
It was 3 am,
But then again who knows maybe I heard something else and mistook it for a cluck,

I could hear my school mates voices in my head, Strange old crazy Sabene, day dreaming are we,
They never said it to my face, they were scared to,
After all I was taller than them by a foot,
But I could feel the judgement in their eyes,

But alas, they would never understand me, I had lost my father,
To them it was so what, there were other girls in my school who had lost their fathers and they were fine,
What they failed to understand was that our situations were different,
Those girls were sheltered from problems, had familial support,

Imagine this waking up one day,
all excited for the school trip,
Only to find your Aunt's husband at the gate,
With a crane,
Threatening to shatter your House's wall,

Life for me was like that,
I was happy, that wasn't acceptable, que exhibit A,
It was like this for years and then I decided you know what,
I won't get attached to anything so the universe can't take anything away from me

A child sits outside a hospital room,
All she can hear is absolute silence
And the world has gone absolutely cold and distance,
Death looming nearby and if you listen close enough you can hear its eerie call,
Its joy in knowing that one day it will claim you
And the satisfaction in the fact that it will have caused so much pain and heartache before your time,
Through a lover, through a father and through all those you love.

For some death will be a release, freedom at last, they will go willingly
And for others it will be a fight against death’s carte blanche.

For the living, some will cry on the bosoms of their mothers like the child who sits waiting for a mother
That will never return and for some it will be the joy of knowing that an enemy has died or that they can
Cash in now, the heartlessness in not caring that someone is mourning the soul of the dead.

What a strange world we live in, where people are happy knowing a life has ended, where people only
care about money. Is this the world we truly want? A life where we only care for money, is this what the
People are. I shall wonder till the end of time and a message for death, even in your clutches shall my
Heart sing and shall the fire in my soul decimate through every single pain you caused eternally.

I died the day I met you,
the devil in disguise,
Black hair, brown eyes, mid 40’s,
I did everything I could to make you like me or at least be civil,
You yelled at me when I told you I didn’t know fractions,
You yelled at me when I told you that I didn’t know how to find absolute values,
I was new in this school,
You could’ve been nice,
But no you chose to yell,
I remember crying for six hours when I came home because you were so mean,
I don’t want your apologies now,
I just want to know, why,
Why did you make me your target?
Why did you a woman in her forties think it was okay to bully a ten year old?

Those dreams are strange,
Weird,
Random,
With people I don't know,
With people that are dead,
With scenarios that make no sense,
With vampires,
With magic,
With flying bikes,
Strange these dreams are,
I wonder why

Tears,
They fall,
I try to scream,
But no sound escapes,
I try to scream again,
No sound again,
But then again,
Those tears are on the inside,
And so are those screams,
Away from the eyes of the world

I look out the window,
It’s another sleepless night,
As i look out,
I notice that even at 2 AM,
It is not pitch black,
You can still see the trees,
It makes me wonder whether true blackness is a human concept,
And even at the darkest time,
God shines his light,
He never makes the world truly dark,
God didn’t make the world a sea of darkness,
We, humans, did

I remember lying in bed,
Thoughts rushing through my head,
Increasing my anxiety,
I couldn't sleep,
Every night I woke up at 3am,
And couldn't go back to sleep,
I remember going to my mom's bed,
I layed there next to her,
But she woke up and asked what was wrong,
I said nothing and went back to my room,
Then it happened again the next night,
And this time she asked, "Anxiety?",
I responded, "Yes"
And she lay there with me the whole night talking to me,
So thank you mom,
For always being there

How strange is it, that in a world where people are repelled by the very essence of a storm,
I feel welcomed by lightning,
Why is it that my eleven year old classmates screamed at the sound of lightning?
Fear lingered in each scream of theirs yet my heart felt warm, welcomed.

It was as if I was the leader and the storm my armada,
It besieges me with its roaring and I summon to its call,
Two days ago, it did the same and while my neighbors children ran inside,
I walked outside to hear the lightning thrash, its rumble, a sweet melody to my soul.

I sometimes feel as if I have power inside me, a power that I cannot harvest.
I feel it singing to my heart in the saddest of times, repairing the cracks and edges,
And in the most joyous of occasions, bringing a joy that though great does not last for eternity
It seems to me that that power has a mind of its own and it knows when and where to appear but
That when the storm calls to it, it submissively appears.

It never answers to the sound or smell of rain, it always answers to the lightning,
It doesn’t answer to the bluest of sky but rather the ashiest-grayest sky.
It makes me wonder, if the power is fire, not human fire, but rather fire of the soul
And to the storm, I shall wait for your next call.