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7d · 49
Lost
I walk slowly.
For I do not know,
Where I must go.

There are many a road
That afront me, fork out.

And yet I do not know,
The one I must take.

And thus
All I do is,
Walk slowly.
Jun 22 · 88
The Purple Butterfly
Don't touch me by the tender points
It hurts more than a soul can bear
Be gentle lest the pain doth spread
It moves me on to silent tears
Don't judge me as I let it pass
Let me lie down in bed & writhe
And wish for a reprieve of sorts
Or drug that cures me of this plight
How 'd you know how much it hurts
I have faked on a smile and laugh'd
Sanity hangs loose on edges now
If only I could alter the story's draft
Yet, clarity missing from how it ends
Unforeseen misadventures lie in wait
I have learnt to be at ease; with ache
And strife, this life & dragging weight
Anyone suffering from fibromyalgia will relate.
Jun 17 · 73
The Gravedigger's Plea
Oh, how forgiven are we in death,
A price to pay, in the loss of life.
Oh, how unloved when we reside
Yet remembered so little, as we die
Living on in memories, of a few
That had, in life.. subtly touched us
And then cease to be, immaterial
Like many a soul has, before us.
Tragedy is when.. misunderstood,
And never were they, ever heard.
Tragic lives, and disavowed care,
And never was a beautiful word,
Catered to them, in their winter fair.
Do them a favour, and heed 'em well
As they .. in flesh, still breathe in air.
Do not,  please cry out in penitence,
And don their graves in flowers, rare.
Love them when they are still alive. For death will surely liberate each one of us.
Jun 14 · 378
The Lost Ones
And away they go
The tender few
A voyage they
cannot return from

Eternal sleep
That beautiful soul
Relieved of all
hues and form

Embodied no more
Ever so impersonal
A life lived not full

And of families
and acquaintances
And memories left behind
The gentle face is no more !
**** depression. It has consumed way too many.
Jun 13 · 196
The fall of Icarus
I was burnt to the core,
In the seething sun's fire.
There was ash all across
Aloft eccentricities' desire.
Sprawling nebulae of blue,
Lasting more than a flicker.
It was light years, I flew,
Mad lust, none did figure.
Fierce love for the ball
And the fire in it raging.
As I crashed at my fall,
Just to rise as an aching.
Blackened coal, elemental
Ashen gray, smeared rife.
Thus I ran, and fell waning
And wax, till exited ..  life.
Icarus flew too close to the sun. The aphorism portrayed here, mildly takes inspiration from the Greek mythology.
Eerie when it's three twenty-five
In the mornings of a nevermore
Fiendish powers dwelling inside
Awakened in a feverous implore
Darkness harkens souls to stay
When in an illuminating twilight
Subconscious turns ashen gray
Plants suffering a certain blight
Sleep had long not hypnotized
Nights, they pass in dry spells
No ravens come a tip tapping
Upon my mind's sly betrothal
Yet, the witching hour beckons
My brain has a way of knowing
Night, just half of it is passed
Rest half would be my undoing
May 30 · 178
Decipher
I was always  told
About my deep eyes
And it is true, for I see
Depth, in your being_
Inside your soul. Just
One look at your eyes
And I can decipher, the
Plethora of emotions,
Wreck'd, as whirlpools
Rising up, within you
I can see, devastation
In your being,
Of sleepless nights,
And endless trying, to
Put forth a brave face
Dark circles giving you
Away; I can see, clearly
All that you've b'n upto
May 28 · 71
Enlightenment
I smile foolishly
There is everything wrong
Going on, in my life now
Yet, I laugh like an idiot
**** care, about it all
I have lived all too carefully
Picking pebbles on the way
I have sinned not too much
Pious is the delirious clay
What else can I say, I do not
Try to defend all that I have
Lived; and I smile coyly
What has anyone begotten
By not living it in other way?

Find yourself, live to seek
Seek and pursue, until clear
It becomes. Until you find out
All that there is to find out !
Or you die trying, with the
Knowledge, of not have gone
Down, without even a stare.
Looking at you, ten minutes or more
As you did look, let out vacant stares.
I tried not much, just stood my ground
In such intricacies, love; I disappeared
How elegant you seem, without trying
Too much; the red in lips, awestruck !
The hair in a bun, in an all perfect black
Apparition of your being, it is flawless.
Dear, I am smitten in such hues you don
The reds and blacks and whites and on,
The due in dots, and cells eloping out.
Imagery adding _ layers to your form
Who then, be, creator to your frame ?
A bold tryst in stolid magnificence !
Who then, birthed such countenance,
In contemplation, I just wither away.
For a moment now, for a moment till
Let me just bask, let my soul fill
And in beauty, won't it, I consume.
Refuel my heart, for the dry dunes.
Let me just stare, as you do stare
In art that brings you, alive
today.
Let me just stand, deep in thought
And offer you a thoughtful bouquet.
May 22 · 41
Impermanence
And, aren't we all characters in
life's eternal play

Once speaking our lines, and the next _ exit stage.
May 22 · 396
troupe en twain
'twas March, I saw you first
in your slender demeanour
mute shine on your lips, adorn
Silent when I moved across
just behind, in queue.. to you
Introduced hath an acquaintance
the gentle vibes about you
the poems that you hadn't yet writ
the pen that had yet not wrote
It was similarities, I had seen
flowers that graced your wall;
Striking carnage in my mind
dissimilating my being,
And, finally in triumph, declared
yourself, I _ an adversary
Oh, but why, an adversary?
Since we could decide on
being likeminded friends
May 12 · 74
Zugzwang
My little game of  Chess
That I played, with you
Making subtle moves
Hinting all too softly
Allowing impasses
Offering a pawn
Renouncing knights
Denouncing  a  bishop
Even giving up my Queen
That trying game of  Chess
It appears, has come to a stale
Without one word spoken, without
An idea or intellect having being shared
My dear, I have not tried hard enough, and
I shall never be the wiser for not having made a move
May 12 · 216
Epiphany
A few good books,

A few good songs, and

The relentless march of time

What else would you call life?
May 10 · 57
The Nether bard
I am damaged goods
A corruption of heart
Up from abyssal depths,
Down to desolate clouds.
The fragment lying between
I am not the incessant air,
A rage of non awakening.
Culmination of all fears.
No words do then, describe
me; I do not conform to rules.
Exception I am; ambiguous
A regular consonantal fool ?
Decreed to consume it all
I carry a ravenous thirst.
Unchecked; I grow fervor
A demon, I am accursed.
Where, then, do I find home
Where does my soul belong ?
Whom shall I call my tribe
Then; what do I, thus long ?
I am damaged goods, get ye'
I do not conform to codes.
I belong to the nether realm
Let me lie, in my .. abode.
Do not then, exhume me,
I have chosen to slither in. And,
Lie dormant in the underground.
Where exist I may, in quiet
Lie hidden away, from the
carnal realm, I want none of it.
A monster of my own making,
A necromancer of the Undead.
An ode to both Dostoevsky and Lovecraft. I tried describing the existential pain of being in a world where you understand too much and thus are left, disappointed in everything, people.
May 8 · 84
Unrequited
I preached him
To ask the tough
Questions

But who will
Ask them
For me?

My Jasmine thoughts
For you, are
Withering dry

They see nought
But an arid dead sea
May 8 · 750
Inside a PPE
The Price of Sanctity

Hazy.. blind, I can't see a thing,
Sweat; an ocean__and I drown.
Trickling, feel rivers down my spine
Scorched, an all too normal tryst.
Elements, lost; wasted in the heat,
An itch; how quitely it goes ignored.
This headache. **** this headache
Someone get me a salve.
2 hours !
Twice has the clock ran by,
5 more, er..
But, can I last any long ?
Water ! No water ! No fluid
Traverses in to / without _
Hell ? No, it is dead men walking.
Heaven ? Has there ever any been?
Natural, welcome to the new order.
Living, shall never be any the same.
Working in a CoViD 19 ward. Inside the PPE. These thoughts came to mind as I jotted them down.
May 4 · 73
Intuition
The heart knows                when it knows

Follow the fluttering butterfly inside you,

Always.
May 4 · 101
Passion
Don't
hold back
your love,
let it rain.
Advise to someone in love
May 4 · 93
Souls on fire
Don't live in hope for a better future. The better future we hope for is a farce. Live now, love now, love fiercely. Make each moment count.
Advice to a friend in love
May 4 · 883
Principium: día tres
Only in the darkest of times,
does the light shine most bright.
Only upon heathen lands, do flowers bloom most pretty ..
For if it was not for the dark, we would not have known light_ and if we were not witness to such droughts, would we ever sing rain songs ?
A tree blossoms in spring, because it had withered away, in its winter.
The water from the rain skies flow as answer to those repugnant summers. As you grow older, so you see the beauty in pain .. and as it makes you wiser, you do not see anything, ever the same..
Life is not distasteful, if you have a wider eye .. be observant, my child, be marvelously alive ..
And this and nothing else, would have been thy calling, and this and nothing else would be meaning to your being !
May 4 · 73
J' te aime'
Through thick and thin,
       Through every clamoring din,
You have been my unfaltering constant
May 2 · 429
Rain
O Rain
Why do you
Make me so happy?

Yours truly,
Somewhere locked,
And unable to dance in your grace.
May 2 · 253
Principium: diá Uno
The fortress that which is your mind
May find not such turmoil as harsh
And instead might as well, rejoice
The shackles which at present bind
Or may be, but it shall doth budge
The resolve of its castles strong
And surely not, it shall not smudge
Ordeal undertook by genial souls
What may be, will have then begun
Fear not, have faith on the virtuous
Path; Think not, what if but of the
Good, that has_ and in time you will
Clearly see; mental tenacity will be
Yours, decreed; Have just clear head
Upon thy broadsword. Nothing else
Will have; or will ever matter more !
Reflections inside CoViD ICU as a duty doctor.
May 1 · 72
Chronophobia
Whatever you want to do, whoever you want to embrace, do so today. The mind creates an illusion of a better future.. but there can only be so many tomorrows, let alone a promised future. The only thing that ever mattered or will matter is the here and now. Relish. Flourish .. and take flight.
May 1 · 50
Amor Fati 🌹
No one is making it out of here alive .. Not the obsessive compulsive hand washer who is picky lest he catches a germ no antibiotics can cure;
Not the pious cleric who prays righteously in hope for a safe haven in the next world;
Not the lovers on the  tree tops who are deluged knee deep in a hormonal immortality of old;
Not the millionaire who will do anything to have that transplant only to extend his sufferings in this world !
Not even the hedonistic party animals who have anyway accepted their fate.. No! None of us are making it out of here ..
We will cease to be ! Will be forgotten ! Our innards eaten by worms as we become fodder for the grass that grows on our graves .. Love your fate then .. Cherish this life .. this gift to think .. it wades out in to the ocean where we will all meet .. not as an individual .. but as a collective whole _ a consciousness this Earth has inherited and continue to resculpt '

Amor fati _🌹
Apr 30 · 24
Flawed existence
All great minds have been called insane .. Superfluous indulgence in petty day's gossip is not where human consciousness is supposed to find it's grave_Indeed ! They know not .. the beauty of the other side ..A place not easily accessible ... A bridge not visible.. The ladder too steep .. Or maybe hidden in plain sight !They see not ! They care not !
They just continue in their petty herds !
Of everyday groceries !
And predictable backbitchings !
How shallow, how very shallow !
Written to depict my dislike for the flawed existence we live everyday.
Apr 30 · 123
Stargazing at Leh
"Lie beneath the galaxy in a cathedral silence,
Stay up till the Sun dives behind arid eminence."

Out there in the seething cold sun,
The glint blinding all that I could see,
Light headed, drowsy for a lack of air,
Disconnected from all that to me dear,
And disconcerted of all that came prior,
Or was about to ensue..
.
I found myself ✓
First two lines credit to the original author. The rest is an original follow up to the same ..
Apr 30 · 50
The Looking Glass
Think of windows here,
As a part of you.. halves
And quarters division;
albeit in unequal measures.
Think of them .. as a
gateway to your soul.
The Spectacle seen
Peeping through, may
be your revelation clear.
Think of clouds at the top,
A head full of dreams.
Plethora no mortal could,
One lifetime, found wanting
A singular life is so unfair.
Think of green fields, lush
An ever fleeting illusion
A maritime expedition !
Gentle discord of youthful years.
Think of the collosal trees,
And how they have grown.
Over the years.. into you.
Unfathomable phenomenon.
Dizzying, if you try surmise.
Think of the divisions,
Conflicted contradictions.
They are necessary rebellions.
Barely mindful of all they divide.
Think of the picture whole,
A graceful dishelvmemt,
Puzzle pieces nonplussed.
Chaos in divisions unified.

Pause, now for a moment
And think
the glass that
gives it all,  perspective.
Refracted wisdom oodling
to guide you the way !
Reflections making you
mindful; so you may not
forget.

Head full of clouds,
Feet glued to the ground.

Couldn't your reckoning
be any clear ?
Breathless, dizzying. A pain there. Ouch ! Why do my feet hurt? Pebbles ! This climbing to the top. Narrow, could it be any worse? Oxygen, so abruptly scarce. Darkness, pierces the gleaming light. What's that sound? Shussh, merry people alight. Laughter? But a scared child cries. Melancholy? This ascent to the top. The views? Absurd and surreal torpor. The top. Finally, I have arrived. Yet, Desolate. Fearful. Impending doom. Sandals, where are my sandals? I feel unclad. This outrageous wind, cutting me up. Dissected, operated. An angst is born. Go away, not today. An escape ensues. Haste, a quick descent. As my sandals call. And I beckon, and I beckon. 👣
Apr 30 · 68
An Elegy
My evening star stopped shining bright
It went off course, into the dark night
I saw it not, for it was.. perhaps a year
Or so it appeared to a brooding mind
I had nurtured it true, for my sore eyes
Every ev'ning, its twinkle w'd bring me
Delight; but off it went, into the black
Never to soothe my eternal sore eyes
It left me stranded, who w'd have seen
The end to our rendezvous, I c'd never
Foresee_ it had been pure intimacy of
A different kind; why then retire into
The dark night, why resign dear, w'out
A single sigh ! A shining star, my wont
Eternal companion of the forever sky?
Alas ! It flickered bright then died out.
Apr 26 · 217
Nefelibata
You were born a cloud chaser,
Why, then do you fear touchdown.
You were born a cloud walker,
Why then do your thoughts,
sometimes, crash and burn ?
Apr 25 · 193
On religion
If you wish to strive for peace of soul
and pleasure, then believe;
If however, you wish to be a devotee of truth,
then inquire, question !
Apr 25 · 88
Oddball
The stitch in mine
Is not like yours
A cut deep down
Into my soul
Am made of dust
From stars below
In shades I flourish
Deep dark I flow

At home I am
Inside my hull
Away from bias
Rubbed in salt
Away from dispute
Hatred immense
Inward I look
In my defense

Observer of time
A soul so old
Rivaling the titans
I stand so bold

Infuriating accession
From exterior advances
Yet trudging along
Onwards alone

I go
Apr 25 · 31
Unloved
He is not the friendly one.
He has not been shown love.
Ever, in his life_ And, He cannot
discern my love for the very
cruelty he is otherwise used to ;(
#unloved #misfit #loveless #poetry
Apr 25 · 90
Misfit
Can I rest now?
Spend the evening tracing roots
Try to grasp the awe i.e Poe
Doyle & Christie's original truth
Can I revere now?
At a genius' mind of old
While Chopin fills the backdrop
With his beautiful tones
Can I withdraw now?
From all the noise there is,
From all the ire there is,
From all the strife there is.
Can I just get lost?
For this moment that slithers,
For a retreat not far away,
To events not common today.
Go on what's stopping you?
Apr 22 · 1.2k
Travel
When things go south
Travel
When it doesn't all fit
Travel
When colours get dull
Travel
When monotony overflows
Travel

Travel
Because there is no use staying
You are a passenger
You have always been
Travel
Because you must one day go
So why not set out in your today too?
Travel
Because life is fleeting and time ain't still
Because as your soul grows weary
It needs freshness instilled !
Travel
Because there is no one good time to go
Because you can always get out and let it all flow
Travel my friend, don't waste quietly in thy hermit cove
For there is a great lot you aught still to see
And there is a great lot your soul daily does sought
Travel
.. needn't pack away, keep thy baggage at bay
For you are not leaving.. hands-full !
Nor your gold, neither valor shall you take back
Travel
Let the air of those gone-bys rinse through as you soak their yonder sighs;
Travel, as the sights of the bygone monumental leaves you mesmerized !
Travel
Don't despair, the show goes on without you dear,
Travel anyway .. and often. and you shall soon find thy home awfully near !
Apr 22 · 60
Such is Life
It's a tragedy of confusion,
With mingled remorse of sorts.
The doubtful few were weary,
Though soulful were their souls.

It's a barbaric camaraderie
The loved ones, unloved; far
Holy was their affinity,
Though, always from afar.

It's the ache of a new dawn,
Light piercing by heart's frost.
Blighted innocence, little was left
So much of yesteryear was lost !

It's a gentle trudge to unknown,
Handful do make it past noon,
Yearning to stop by, admire it all
Hath stopped so many too soon !

It's the night owl's sharp screech,
Attempting cordiality with the dark,
It was wise and could fathom,
What busy bees never could hark !

It was a beautiful endeavour of sorts,
Trudging of life, and it's miseries,
As nubile squires don the cloak
To try get over the long night !
Apr 22 · 92
On Rain
It pours from the heavens
A long confinement sealed
It drops like hail cannons,
A moment of reprieve.
Thunder dear, never could drum
Deliverance that fell from up high
Lightning was a screeching flash
Affection falling from the sky !
And night clouds do not dissolve
Dubious why it wasn't made known,
All black, a shimmering design,
The solipsistic man's joyous cry.
And till next morn's awakening,
Might there be tip-tapping more.
As night takes over,
And rain acts transporter,
Transcending it all to a level high !
Apr 22 · 149
Lettres d'amour
The glint from your eyes,
A hint of your smile.
A subtle affair.
A subtle affair.
Lines that from you are made,
Love that for you emanate,
My heart, melts away.
My heart, melts away.
Truth be told, I am infatuated.
Love not, it's a lightning strike.
And I am lost,
Darling, I am lost.
Would you then, take your pen?
And pen down few words to me?
Write me a love letter,
Honey, write me a love letter.
Wouldn't you ?
Apr 22 · 679
The colurs of Existence
If blue is a state of the human mind,
We are hued now in its deepest stain.
Apr 22 · 244
Flowerface
Out the corner of my right side eye,
I stole a glimpse of her morning dew
As a waft of her innards came flying,
The heavenly essence of a dream.
Love from a passion-filled stream.
Under influence when naught else could seem,
Enticing; but the touch of her eyes looking back.
Apr 22 · 668
Wishes upon dying Stars
We went barefoot
To the edges of where
The earth uprooted, and
Trees lay barren, with sand
tracks bearing testimony to a
Wretched depravity of time !
And we lay threadbare
In the cool April
night,
Gazing upsky for hours,
Waiting in expectations,
For ñ elusive silverlight,
Of the fiery celestial might.
Of it's exhilarating approach,
and it's rapid tumultuous demise,
East onto west; upon the lunar sky.
And we wished to capture it, but
All that we could come up with,
Ws' an oak tree, in its wry solitude
Standing stolid, sly and slender

Mere spectator to the cosmos,
Yet, laughing at our fascination;
Of a lucid spectacle,
Which it did witness,
In its forlorn anomaly,
Innumerable instances
Of it's stoic incessant
Time.
Meteor showers 21/04/2020
Apr 17 · 74
The Givers
It takes very little to
Make people feel loved
Many of us do not try, yet
A few others make it a point
To not let go of an opportunity
To let others know and feel
In their own small ways
That they are loved
And cherished

I thought
I was alone
With these beliefs
Though now, my dear
Because of you
I know better.
In a world full of selfish takers, be a giver.
Apr 14 · 69
On Sleeping
I escape !
The eyes close,
My brain, a barn on fire
Burning; numb the sore
Sweat, tracing it's track
Swoop, the drool flows
Heaviness in the head,
Flash, ran the fly across
Light sways tumultuous,
Drumroll; a fleeting close
Lucid acid dreams,
Sweet almonds,
Thought of you.

And suddenly nothing.
Visions of a sleepy head.
Apr 14 · 663
Limerence
I longed for you
As a poet would
Over his elusive villanelle

I longed for you
As the Sun would
Daft love for end of day

I longed for you
As Spring would
Showers of June to rain

I longed for you
As my love brood
Incessant and partly gray

Pray ardourous affection pull you in
And treat my throbbing heart of May !
Infatuation for someone I had a crush on.
Apr 14 · 95
The Kitchen Wizard
A gentle pungence of the nutmeg
Burns the hands that dwell in its ashes
Sprinkle generously, lest you want the
concoction, to turn out bland.
Yet, how would bland be? A curry.
Dressed in an assortment of spices,
As, Cardamoms and Peppercorns and
Cinnamons and Aniseeed_ Do add a
bay leaf as you temper the potion
to a base.

It is joy, manifold_ flavours not just in
conclusion but odyssey of the process.
It is joy, unbound, creation nienté
could bring about such happiness !
Joy of the 'Kitchen Wizard' is
in his pots and potions found !
Afterglow from a meal cooked right.
Apr 14 · 568
Life Jacket (A Sonnet)
In times like these, prepare a life jacket
Keep it donned lest you fall down and drown
Take measures full to not let health sicken
There is full season left to weather out
May stay inside, pick up a lost hobby
May reconnect with one's far flung and old
May find joy in just keeping to oneself
May do a thing not before once foretold
Desperate measures you will have to take
Loved ones dear may not share your heartache
Help yourself then and be not sad, my boy
Grace from above shall fall on your ship of Troy
A lighthouse at shoreline seen from here afar
Till then, be safe and rejoice in your bell jar.
An exercise in Iambic Pentameter. Desperate times, desperate measures. This pandemic has us all riled up bad. Stay home, stay safe.
Apr 14 · 244
Lavender thoughts
Won't you accept these few letters
That I, to you - today address
A few words worth of silent adore.
That I, for you- have for long had.
Don't you reject my swollen affect.
I haven't to any other, apprise
Won't you accept these few letters
That I, to you - today ascribe?
Oh ! What, the pains- I took to rank,
Oh ! For love, all that I today, drank.
My heart, it had long back, a fell.
My life; willfully, I today kneel.
Bow down, if I must then, but do.
What else would you have me see to?
My Princess, you are all I yearned.
And longed for till my breath a-run.
One day, I shall have you a-whole.
Till then, I will try and console.
A lover's grief no one will know.
Till then, my love for you will grow.
Rage on, till life runs in my veins.
Won't you accept my written remains?
An exercise in Iambic Pentameter. Take it as a love letter of sorts. Cheers !
Apr 1 · 395
The Human Condition
Out by thy window to Hope
Thou seest, but the green sigh.
Hope for all other life shimmer,
As dark black consumes thy nigh.

Yet, thou resort to vile tirade, for
Samekind breathing thy exhaled air,
In knowledge, indictment just a mirage.
The anger merely reflection of a fear.

Do thee then, think in retrospect ?
Or do then, prospectively act ?
What shall be thy salvation ?
When thou deny, what is but fact !

Killing thy way to the top, Human.
Death ,destruction; ever on thy mind.
Why then do thee hope for revelation ?
To thy fellow never, thou were kind !

Ignominious downfall imminent,
Epiphany written on the wall !
It takes a toll to be sentient,
As thy numbers grow; to fall !

Nature can sustain only so much,
Thy ignorance, avarice as vile.
Preparedness never for this coming,
A war against all you did defile! Yet,

May thee rise from ashes, resurrected.
Sustenance, compassion_ thine aim !
All is not lost, if thou realise this,
Viirtuousity: thy only saving dame !
About the current times, about the pandemic, about what could have been done .. and how we still live in denial. I know it's a tad pessimistic, but care, there's light at the end of the tunnel.
Mar 30 · 82
Concussions
Warm were hands that
gifted me flowers
White roses and
tulips in bloom
Scent nascent
sans sly fervour
Innocence intense
invigorating shy plume

Creased, the hands that
cleansed this fever
Wilted roses and
tulips no more
Torment was
listless subservience
My wildflower was lost
to shore

Waiting then for a Panacea
Is it futile, or is it hope
Crumpled, fractured
Is, my Pangea
Pray, deliverance !
A means to cope?
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