The weeping, the remorse
Her hair is a cascade of sin
The devotion, the passion
Her love is all she can give

Madeleine, Madeleine
The mystery in your eyes

From poverty to piety,
She rises among the twelve
A student, yes, but a leader
A star in Heaven's realm

Madeleine, Madeleine
The mystery in your eyes

One to witness a sunset
The first to witness a sunrise
The first to witness the miracle
Of Christ returning to life

Madeleine, Madeleine
The mystery in your eyes

There must be more to you
Then what the scriptures portray
There must be more to you
Then what believers say...

~

I want you in the backseat of my wildest dreams
Buckle in because I ain't holding back
The colors and shades and visions may disturb you so
But if you want me, this is the way you need to go.

Let's go
Let's roll

No one knows how long this ride may last
But if you're willing to take this chance

Let's go.

~

~

Do you like it this way, baby?
What role do you want me to play?
A muzzled dog, a tongueless *****.
A marionette in your puppet show.
Cut these strings; freedom I miss.

Are you comfortable? You ask me.
I reply, Yes, and count from one to five.
I wish for roses without thorns; clouds of white.
I know my wishes will never come true.
Never in an eternity of nights.

As long as I'm by your side.

~

~

God of Man? Creator of the Universe?
Why couldn't you make me beautiful?
My skin is a valley of pimples and oil
My body a poorly sculpted teapot

God of Man? Creator of the Universe?
Why couldn't you make me smart?
My mind is a cesspool of ignorance
My logic the size of a pea

God of Man? Creator of the Universe?
Why couldn't you make me kindhearted?
My heart is a coffin, housing a dead love
My smile a melting bed of April snow

God of Man? Creator of the Universe?
I have nothing to offer this Earth
No beauty, no wisdom, no love
What is my purpose, God?

Why am I here?

~

I am not good with words
I never was and never will be
They just don't come easily

I sound like a foreigner
With English being
Her third language

My grammar is a train wreck
I know that for a **** fact
And it hurts to go through

The grammatical errors in my head
"It's not, 'me and my sister...'
It's, 'my sister and I!'"

{I just found that out today}

I know what I want to say
In my mind it makes sense
But when the words come

My mouth becomes
A washing machine
Jumbling my words 

I write in hopes to communicate better
With not only the people that I love
But with the world and my soul

My writing may not be perfect
But it is better than taking
A nun's vow of silence

I write in hopes to find myself
In this eternal night in which
I am forced to stay awake.

~

Come, come here my child
My, what a charming smile!
Just as lovely as this apple
I have here in my satchel.

Green as my eye, crisp as the morn
Pleasantly sour - a gift from the Lord
Take a bite, my dear; taste its juices
Lest you pay for your rudeness.

That's it; savor its poison
You are the one I've chosen
My precious rose; my little Lilly
My, younglings can be so silly!

You take the bite... Instantly...

Another life shatters like glass
Children are too good to last
The sweet smell of demise
Lingers freely in my mind

Death is best served premature.

~

~

I will never forget
your lips valentine red

the clothes you've shed
in my now-lonely bed

the words you've said...
do i dare pretend?

~

You were never mine
just a myth; just a lie

like that fat man in the sky
with his reindeer that fly

you're poison to the mind
you're the reason I cry

~

My flower you keep
now and for eternity

your true nature i see
is nothing but bleak

go; get away from me
rise to your sinful feet

~

You have stollen what is mine
blemished my soul snow white
crushed my innocence in your hand
the same hand you touched me with

on that night i long to forget .

~

Saturdays;
hold onto them, *******
for there is nothing better
than brewed coffee and bagels
Star Wars and 007 films
Swiss cheese omelets and maple syrup
pajama bottoms and cotton-candy robes
on this magnificent day of rest.

Sometimes, I just want to hurt
To crush men with my words
To make them hear the hard truth
Hard as my stony heart, I puke
I puke cold-blooded rage
Onto my oppressor's plate
I want him to ******* hurt
I want him to gobble up my emotions
I want him to feel what it's like
To suppress your emotions, push them down
To silence them the way he silences me
Until they fester like spring worms
I dare him to hold it all in. I know he can't
His emotions will, indeed, come to a boil
Like soup left on the stove for too long
I want to see his rage bubble and pop
Singe the edges of his ***
Until it's all too much
His mind will explode
His heart will burst
His eyes will turn into oceans
And know one will notice
Because "no one cares"
Bon appetite!

You *******.

Ice-cold needles ***** my bare skin
I gaze up at the metal shower head
Hissing like a million rattlesnakes
She is the only one who pities me
Washing my hair with her tears
Cooling my scorched skin.

I fantasize a tender loving lover
Embracing me from behind
Whispering sweet nothings
Holding, swaying, rocking me
Until the water grows warm
Rejuvenating my heart and mind.

But it's not like that; not today
The dream is ever so far away
I am alone in this weeping glass box
Punishing myself for my shortcomings
Hating myself for ever speaking
The remedy for pain is more pain.

Water streams down my cheeks, my neck
No one will ever know that I am crying.

Heart is a ticking bomb
About to go off
Stomach is a rope
Twisting and turning
Mind is a crossroad
Traveling in different directions
Face is sunshine and butterflies
Insides are thunderstorms
You don't see my woes.

~

My soul is an eighty-year-old grandma
She observes the world through spectacles
Her smile is a mouthful of wooden teeth
She listens to an old radio blasting within

She looks like a raisin left out in the sun
Her nimble fingers knit miles of dreams
As the hands of time keep spinning around
She sits like the Bodhi Tree rich in wisdom

Her spirit confuses reality with the past
I don't hear the funky song of the present
Ghosts swarm around me in the night
Watch me dance to their masquerade 

Do you see them, too?

~

~

calm waters, cool breeze
      what lies beyond the sea?
            peachy skies, orange glow
         a distant whale moans
            wet sand, chalky skin
                    i wish i had fins

                        so i can escape the shore...

~

~      

  melted caramel stirs in her eyes
cauldrons of burning passion
   her wicked old veins pop out
      of her legs, rivers of wisdom
         gained from books and time
      her teeth are painfully crooked
   some lean east, others lean west
flawed, but oh so beautiful to me
   like her heart that bleeds berry juice
      bitter at first, then sweeter than life.

~

~

the flame holds all the cards
licking my legs with sultry tongues
cheshire cats watch me from afar
as the keres crushes my lungs.

i twist and turn like elastic
against the blazing stake of doom
i pray for one miracle, god's magic
to put out this inferno soon.

my skin burns to the bone, withers
away like skeletons in a sarcophagus
as smoke billows, peasants consider
going to mass after this wickedness.

innocent blood is on their hands
they dare to call themselves lambs?

~

Hurtful words rip through the sky
Arrows dipped in a lethal poison
Penetrating the flesh of the good
Keen heads embedded in tickers
They don't go through me
Not even an inch of their bodies
My heart is protected by confidence
Like what a knight wears on his back
Armor.

~

White as clouds, soft as sunsets
They bloom at the peak of June
Watch them open their petals
Like yawning babies at dawn.

~

Hidden voices rings true into the icy microphone
Fingers tremble ~ hearts pound ~ eyes squint blindly
At the light which shrouds the audience in shadow
There's no mockery being conducted by the blob of folks
Only anticipation rises in their bellies like a baking cake
That and the silence encourages the fireworks of the night
To go off ~ explode ~ scream ~ whistle ~ burst with color
Until dawn breaks in the sky.

Your dream is a kite
Don't let it go.

~

~

Endless days with nothing to fill in the blanks
I don't know what to do with myself anymore
I can sleep away the dreadful hours? However,
I'll be too far away from the light switch
When the rooster calls my name at sunrise.

C
   O
C
   K
A
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O
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D
   L
E
   D
O
   O

...

~