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  Dec 2020 CZ
Amanda Kay Burke
I hate when I lose my cool
Let my crazy show
Bits and pieces slip through my cracks
Otherwise carefully kept below

A world of chaos hides behind eyes
Beyond my skin
Nobody suspects the battlefield
That sets stage within

My neck hurts from holding up weight
Of thousands of mental disputes
Neurons connecting in my brain
And nervous system in cahoots

Around so much ruin each day
Anxiety running my soul
Fracturing under pressure
I snap
I lose control
The worst insult you can say to me is "you're crazy"
  Dec 2020 CZ
Janna B
‘I’ve something to tell you...
I kissed someone else.’
‘You kissed someone else?!
That can’t be true, who?’

‘How could you not notice me,
you had many chances to see...
I don’t know what I want,
but this is honesty.’

He storms away, slamming door
out into the night. Then -

‘I’m sorry, your actions are yours but
it’s my fault you’re there...
please, I’ll get help, be your friend
I’ll get better, I swear...’

‘I love you’ says he
‘Why, truthfully?’
‘You’re so beautiful...
I don’t want to fail..’
But beautiful is a trophy, a conquest
and marriage isn’t a contest.

Actually, I now see
The kissing of someone else
was me, breaking free.
I’d broken long ago
his promises felt hollow
I was clutching at saving me.

My joy, our family, our life
all millstones to him,
burden and strife.
The endless trying, ideas and hope,
Fell on deaf ears - I was just the wife.

Then I stuck around, tried,
grief searing inside.
Let him touch me (excruciatingly)
give flowers and hold me...
but it was gone with old tides.

And simple jealousy tipped him?
Got to be kidding me.
I’m not feeling sorry for myself...just trying to express how deeply it cut. And the feeling of abandonment that just went on for so long.
  Dec 2020 CZ
Marcin Strugalski
the clock
is ticking
and i
still wear
this jacket
from school

outerwear
in the season of otherness

the girls have already grown up
behind us traces in the snow
i come out of it all the time
  Dec 2020 CZ
Anais Vionet
The trick is to take
your eye off the ball - forget
and enjoy yourself.

When you realize
- ultimately, life's a
suicide mission.

Do the flowers fret
even as they bloom? Are swans
gracefully worried?

Ignore that small voice
- enjoy life's pleasures, thrills,
and delight in love.
Let birds vex and the squirrels strive for immortality.
  Dec 2020 CZ
Amanda Kay Burke
Sometimes clash like oil and water

I am an asteroid crashing your otherwise peaceful planet

There is nothing propelling me forcefully into your atmosphere yet again and again you unintentionally end up the target of my gravitational destruction

Our blood types incompatible but I insist on ripping you open wide while my own hands dripped self-inflicted wounds aching with resentment

Why must we be so different when our emotions are the same?
Growth is inevitable. You can either choose to grow together or grow apart
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