Hey to the pretty girl
Hey to the lonely boy waiting for someone to notice him.
Hey to the wannabe girls that are picking on the boy who justs friends.
Hi to the teacher who sits and does nothing but watches.
Hello to the boy that finally sits with the only boy instead of being mean.
I watch this all godown but who will be next.
This is school each day doing the same things until the cycle is ended.

He made me love him from the start.
It was a mistake I thought I would only say hi Instead he took over my life.
No matter how hard I tried to quit I would always be back in his arms.
I stayed away for over a year but I couldn't resist.
I gave him my heart and he uses it as a weapon.

Hiiiiii💜💜💜💜
(Read one hour ago)
How are you doing I miss you!!
(Read two hours ago)
I love you!!!!! I hope you having fun at work💚
(Read a day ago)
Hi
(Read 40 minutes ago)
Ok im over it
(Sent)
I have been here waiting for you.
I gave you more than I was prepared for but I never complained.
I waited and waited for you to treat me the same.
You never tried to make it work.
When I sent the last text I didn't hear for you for dayssss.
I know you saw my text because it told me you did.
Why don't you care for me?
Why don't you try and save this because I'm done.
I can't put all this effort in and get nothing back.
I'm dying over here trying to make this work.
I don't even now what this is anymore.
I'm not going to give you the easy way out,
But im done trying to make this work.
Text me when you are ready to fight for me.
Im worth a **** good fight.
(Read 10:00pm)

I fell in love with the pain.
The memories replay in my head over and over.
It feels so nice when I want to replay it.
Remembering all the little details.
Wishing I could do it now but no one understands.
I fell in love with the blade.
Wanting more of the pain to happen even with a smile on my face.
Hoping no one would notice when my long sleeves come back.
Now I’m two months clean still thinking of last time.
Hoping the memory will be enough this time.
Not wanting to start over but not willing to fight it.

I felt whole until she left.
I lost a piece of me and the memories too.
I can’t think of her without crying.
It was my fault for trusting someone new.
This is why I don’t open up now my trust is gone.
I gave her my heart she crushed it without even knowing
Goodbye kisses turned into shouts.
My world turned upside down.

Why does this always happen
Dreams turn into nightmares
Wishes turn into bargaining for life.
This all happen because of one little lie.
I didn’t mean for this to get this bad.

I miss you when I shouldn't.
I love you when I can't.
Everyone says you are bad for me but I don't believe it.
How can you make me feel this good but be this toxic?
I need to know what's going on because I tried giving you up but it's too hard.
Just maybe you can enter my life one more time.

They are sleeping next to me.
I feel safe but my mind doesn't trust it.
It tells me do more harm than good.
With you deep down I know I'm safe and you know that to.
Even if everything else around us doesn't make sense.
They are sleeping next to me but my mind doesn't trust it.
Letting horror movies play in my head about the ones that I love.
Making me feel crazy for loving them more and more.
Maybe my mind isn't used to this feeling and is trying to make me safe.
I don't want to safe I just want to live in the moment.

The smile that started it all.
I saw her across the room,
She laughed so softy,
But loud enough to be heard.
I wonder if she planned to take over my life.
I wasn't afraid of anything,
Besides loosing her.
It's been two years and her smile hasn't changed.

Ever since I was a child, snow has always brought a smile to my face.
Now when he's with me, it all feels the same.
It doesn't matter what is going on; I know he cares about me too.
I would give up winter to spend the rest of my days in his arms.
Snow always gave me the missing piece,
With him near, my heart is complete.

Sorry
A word that I use to shield myself from the pain that comes before it.
The thing that shuts down talks before it starts,
Makes tears turn into forgotten messes.
Makes those who love us turn into the deepest monsters.
Thinking when we say the word all is good again.
Not knowing, I hold on to the broken promises that never came.
Faking a smile that wants to fade but knowing they will get mad.
That this will be my fault if I say anything else but what their ears want to hear.
Twenty-one to the eye,
Inside the scared little five-year-old who knew too much for his age.
Sorry for….
Sorry, I didn't mean….
Sorry for it all…

Spring is when
the flowers grow.
When school is almost over, but finals start to strike.
Spring is when,
Dreams become a reality.
When reality starts to mix all together,
Until September comes again.

I look up at the stars couting the days until we meet again.
Wondering if all the late night messages will be worth it in the end.
Hoping one day you tell me that you love me.
I walk back home with no one next to me wishing I could wake up and you would be there next to me.
Then I look up one more time at the shinning stars wondering if you miss me this way or if you just forgot about me.

Please stay a little longer,
my heart isn't ready to fall apart.
Deep down you know we're meant to be, this can't be all in my head.
Give me one more chance, is what I want to say.
But you taught me not to fight for someone whose heart is already out the door.
Please stay a little longer, Before leaving my life without looking back.

She wrote her love story out when she was only fifteen.
Waiting for the guy she wrote about years ago,
She never found Anyone close until she met you.
You gave her all she ever dreamed about just to take it all back.
She used to smile at your text and she cries in pain reading it back.
She wished for the day you would say I love you.
Those words never came.
She wrote her love story,
Only to meet you the one who made her stop believing in happily ever after.

Listen to this made-up story.
He was in love with his ex.
The new guy didn’t know.
He falls head over heels just too be broken twice.
Once for believing things would change.
second for thinking the guy is in love again,
Which was correct but with a different man
He didn’t know the truth until it was too late.
Neither got their perfect ending.
sadly this tale is true

Leaves get brighter
The laughter gets louder.
Storms get bigger
And pools get less crowded.
Smiles are changing
Crying is starting.
But wait, do you hear that.?
One girl is smiling thought Is all.

Summer nights bring moments that we will never forget.
Laughs that will stay with us while the worlds move ons.
No one will forget when the car was filled with smiles and empty cans of soda.
Hoping to stay frozen for a while,
Getting dropped off a second later.
Wishing we can do it all again tomorrow,
Missing summer days when school comes around.

Tell me this happiness is all fake.
Tell me the broken heart is a toy messing all of its pieces.
I won’t believe this truth.
If I told him my heart was made of money, then he would keep it right?
Instead, just emotions failing to be shown.
Did he just want me to be heartless so I can’t fall in love with him?
He just wanted a doll, but I’m not that.
Does this mean I'm seeing the real truth

In-person they love me,
Over text, it’s like a desert.
I wish for rain but I only have my
tears.

The sky turns different colors,
There is no warning about when or why it happens.
It's blue then black in a matter of moments.
It reminds me of love.
One second everyone is writing stories of there magic that was there
A day later the fire pit is filled with empty pages of a story that could of been.

He's gone.
No more messages,
No more hellos or goodbyes.
The years together all disappeared
There was no fight to keep it alive.
One evening I said do you still care for me? there was no response.
He never reached out again and that was a lifetime ago.

The first time
I feel my heart being fixed
The pain finally goes away.
I can finally see the sunshine
It’s still far away but in view.
I want to be free of the memories
Hoping it will just be history.

There is a girl who hides in the shadow, trying not to be heard
A boy is standing tall, but no one wants him.
Every day everyone says hi to the hidden girl but nothing to the strong boy.
They all call out hey Sophia but ever hi josh.
The world will only see what they want to believe is right.
The dying boy is standing firm with a smile.
While the hidden girls is just Trying to leave.
He is a trans man, but to the world, he is still A lonely girl.

They thought they would be together forever.
She was in a fairy tale until she works up in reality.
He would yell and scare her enough to make her leave.
But love her enough for her to come back.
The world didn’t know what was happening behind the closed door.
On the news, they were happy as good be.
But that isn’t the whole story, not close at all.

I miss her,
She was the snowflakes on a boring day.
Her laugh is buzzing to an angled ear.
The good days felt like a dream that could last forever.
The bad days ended up in hell, used as Torture for the crazy.
I screamed waiting for the nightmare to end
Only finding out that it just started.
My life played on a jumbo screen thinking each second will be my last.
She said I love you.
I said I love you too.
But is this love, fearing for the bad days
And missing the good?

A single rose means love,
The rest mean he ******* up again.
Every time he brought home flowers, I knew right away he had done something terrible.
The women would accept and forget it ever happened.
It was only the start of a downhill relationship.

I wish he stayed longer,
Instead, his mind ran faster than lighting.
He was afraid to show weakness to someone who cared.
Scared I would break him,
He ran away and never looked back.

When the smile starts to fade.
Love may slowly go away.
But not slow enough to forget all the memories.
Even the laughs that made every second feel like a dream will leave.
All the photos that I delete myself from crying still pop up like a picture book.
All the stories are running through my mind waiting to be deleted with all the rest.
My mind is like a movie slowly turning into a horror movie.

It's right there.
Hidden in a bottle with a warning.
Open now or wait to see what happens.
I take the cap off,
There I was in a pretty blue dress from years ago.
I wonder what is she doing?
All she said was, don't go home tonight.
There I stand in the parking lot, thinking if this is real.
I debated going home, but I wait until sunrise in this empty place that I now call home.

The sky is blue and slight cloudy.
My mind starts to scramble and put all the pieces together.
I can't stop thinking of last months and all the words that were said.
It happen so fast,
Next think I know I'm alone once more.
Thinking of the memerios that will be gone in a year.
Hoping we meet again before I forget who you are.

I like her.
I like how we can talk all day.
She is becoming part of my world.
I wish I could see her.
I don’t even know her name, and that’s ok.
I'm afraid to tell how I feel, knowing she leave me.

He says his love just faded,
Was it ever there to start?
He uses his mouth like a gun and words as bullets hoping for damage.
She does the same blaming the empty bottle
Both forgetting what was said in the morning, While it stays with me for years.

I'm trapped in a glass box.
Watching people smile while I'm pretending to be ok.
No one seems to notice,
All I want to do is break out.
It's looked down on to be different,
So I seat here in my glass box,
Too afraid to get out.

Mexico
Today I was supposed to go there.
It was the thing that kept sane when I was insane.
Things don’t always go as planned, and I’m learning this the hard way.
I was in pain, but my mind used this as a reason to keep going.
this is gone what is next because my dreams are crashing likes fly in a window.
It’s a little buzz but doesn’t get louder even if I try to scream.
I was told to let it out, but it doesn’t work.
Nothing comes out, nothing but air.
I try to fight, but nothing is near me.
Today was a trip, but now I’m at home.

She didn't have to say a word,
Her eyes said it all.
The girl was in love, and no one could say differently.
He hated winter, learned to love it for her.
One night changed the girl's life forever.

Tell her that better days are coming.
The boy she wishes to be will be free soon.
The long blonde hair will exist no more.
Everyone will support us,
Believe in it.
Believe that it's true.

Her love didn’t fade, but she was afraid he would leave without a word.
So she took a chance and did it first.
Only to regret it after the fire had already started.
He never thought of leaving, but her inner voice never listened.
Her love didn’t fade, but the thoughts of him doing it first got too loud to handle.
She never learned how to say any of it out loud,
In the end, she falls too fast and leaves too soon.

Today was different,
I thought I was going dark again.
One second I looked up and saw that I was staying in my room.
I was alive.
A year ago, I never dreamed I would make it to my 21st birthday.
The dark hole seemed like my new life.
Running off my friends and making sure no one ever cared for me.
If people don't care, then it's easier not to fight.
I was sad when I learned people didn't want to leave me.
They all waited and waited until I could finally talk again.
Until I could look them in the eye and say why?
Why did you wait?
Why did you fight for me?
Thank you,
that's all that came out.
In the end, I knew I didn't want to go.
When I feel done, I now take a moment to look back.
To be proud of how far I have come.

I’m sorry
The phase that takes away the pain.
It saves me from feeling threatened.
It’s my power to make people happy that’s what I have been told since I was a kid.
I turned my magic in to “I’m sorry.”
Too scared to face conflict,
Afraid they will hurt me.
So I say I’m sorry.

Truth hurts
She gave him all she had
But got nothing in return.
She stayed up all night waiting
For a text.
He stayed up flirting with other girls.
She missed wanted him so badly
He only wanted one girl, she wasn’t it.
She is waiting for that to change.
He doesn’t even notice her.

She gave him everything but got nothing in return.
He only wanted her until she was old news.
She begged him to love her, but that only made him stronger.
He had the poor lady wrapped around his finger tighter than her loyalty.
Love brings out the Desperate in some and evil in others.
He finally let her go after giving everything up to get one last chance.
She was never good enough in his eyes, but he wanted someone to play, so the man kept her on a string.
He could have let her off easy but instead destroyed her trust.

She only wished to be cared for by one person,
He saw her only for her body.
She hoped for a loving relationship,
His goal was to play her until he got sick of the game.
She learned not to trust again,
While he moved on without a scratch.

Writing helps let out the words buried inside.
My voice may disappear, but my poems never run out.

I wonder why I kept the letters all this time.
Maybe I was hoping he would come back the more I read it.
That he would just appear out of nowhere.
But nowhere ever came; no one ever came.
I wonder why I kept the letters all this time
Maybe I was hoping it would help my tears go away.
It didn't; it never does.
He will never find me the same again.

I can't believe I let this happen again.
She wasn't there for me for a while but I picked up the phone the second she called.
I listen to all her issues trying to make her feel better.
I wonder why I am doing this as if she would do the same for me but I'm not sure anymore.
I can't believe I fell for her looks.
The pretty girl who everyone likes came over to me and everything started to spiral.
I did everything for her and I mean everything.
After it was all done then she dropped me as if I was nothing.
But once I was her everything and I wondered how that all changed so fast.
So of course when she called I had to pick up.
I had to be there for her.

What if it was my sister?
My best friend?
The day you died, my heart turned up aside down.
I couldn't think of you for two years without crying.
There were many days I had to stop myself from visiting.
What if it was me?
Would people finally care that one of us was gone?
I told my self when it snowed, it was you saying hi to stop myself from breaking down.
What about all the memories?
The stories that we had together.
No one will meet you again.
I wish it could have been me, not you.
I wish it were all a bad dream.
I wish I didn't miss you.
I wish I could have gone with you.

I’m drowning in my thoughts,
Hoping one day I can finally be with you

I know not everyone will want me.
I only want you to stay in my life as long as possible.
I’m not going to ask forever but I’m hoping it will be longer than just tonight.
I know we just met but I can’t stop thinking about you.
I know it most be for a reason.
Please tell me I’m not the only one thinking this right now.
In the end of the day if I hear your voice then everything will be ok.