Translation of ''Voor Ari''
by Jules Deelder
[Rotterdam, 24 Nov. 1944 - 19 Dec. 2019]

Dear Ari
Don't be afraid

The world goes round
and has done since 
for ever

People can be good
People can be bad

Yet they all are on
The same roadway


The longer you live
The shorter it takes

You emerged from the water
and will pass through the blaze

Therefore dear Ari
Don't be afraid

The world turns round
and will do so
forever

Shells of desire
Wings of trust
Eyes in wind
Grains of sand
She has no fear
feels the love in 
different layers
He wants fire men to
be able to do their job 
instead of traffic jams
She wants people to
be at the beach without
fear of armed response
He does not want to
sit on his mam's couch 
and work a 9-to-5 feeling
possessed by banks too
anyway.

Will you be my shelter
Will you hold me
During the scariest parts
Of these bad horror movies
Will you let me cry into your chest
Soaking your tee shirt
Staining it with sorrow
Leaving you with a permanent reminder of me
Will you laugh at me
When I do stupid things
Will you let me hug you
Until I feel less numb
Until my mind can feel again
And I start crying again
As the cycle begins

I don't have much to give
But I won't leave you
As long as you hold me
Love you I will

Someday, I won't remember this
Sitting in a bedroom
With only the Christmas lights on
On a half-baked winter solstice
In week old sweatpants
Faded hair and muscles sore
My vision blurring
Pixelating
Focused only on the screen
I won't remember this
No one will

Another soul lost to the bridge that connects Brooklyn to Staten island New York.
My poetry befriended me and protects me as it does others now.
Two days before two major holidays, we have lost another to the voices they couldn't shut off in their heads.
If you even suspect a little off kilter about a friend or loved one,
please call the suicide hotlines
There does not need to be another jumper off any bridge

C@rainbowchaser2019

Sometimes I wonder if you look closely at my eyes, you can see every thought from my head and every image that I’ve seen?

Sometimes I wonder if my cheeks show the tears I’ve cried, as if they leave an indent on me

Sometimes I wonder if if you look at my smiling face, can you see all the words I’ve said all the cry’s for help I’ve silently whispered?

Sometimes I wonder if you look at my hands, can you see that I’ve used them as weapons against myself?

Sometimes I wonder if you look at me close enough you can read my whole story, every thought, every tear, every word, every touch can you see the indent that life has left on me?

Blue-watered lullabies
accompany your eyes
my treasure chest beckons
Rippled memories swirling
Circles near a gulls wing play in the water
Too many shells and seaglass to enjoy and carry
Yet, I do take their memory with me
The ocean carries me
Cliffs call out because they noticed the dolphin gang
trying to get closer earlier on
We've walked on water because the sand never kept us still
You know a greater truth that because keep secret in a place known to those like us
Still falling deeper than a submarine can submerge with you
It's the way of the owl
It's the way of the swan
It's the way beaches make me feel
This love and bond can tumble but not with so many beaches yet to walk on and explore

C@rainbowchaser2019

I rid myself
of every shard,
every little piece
that reminds me of
you.
Knowing
one day;
there will be a me
put back together.
complete
and whole.
a me,
you have
never
touched before.