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Muse Dec 2019
Oh heart, you pump with blood so wise,
From scars that come from your fake demise,
Your walls so fragile and yet so stern,
The grief that burns as you mourn the end,
Of potential love that is just a friend.

Oh heart, you are strong, you feel it all,
You mourn, you ache, you feel alive,
You beat to the death of what you lost,
You feel again, despite the cost.

You open yourself up to feeling again,
Of false projections, never again.
You seek to know only truth this time,
With clarity and depth to now align,

I pour my attention back to Self,
With love and compassion I seek my health,
I start to honor my deep seated pain,
with intention, I learn to make true gain.
Muse Dec 2019
You validate my feelings and get to my mind to crawl into my heart,
you know my affection wants your attention,
you know how to dance in the dark.

With every word that pulls me towards you,
my mind plants false hope,
it doesn't stop.

You arrest me with your boundaries,
your blurred lines that keep me from seeing the truth,
the way you tug on my heartstrings,
because you crave the ego boost.

A woman of conviction and principles,
is who I want you to be,
maybe that really is you,
and these emotions just fool me.

I learn to untangle your kindness,
your love from a familial place,
your boundaries set with such clear grace,
I am put into my place.
Muse Dec 2019
I hate you with every fiber of my bones,
You make me sick and my body feels disgusted that you exist,
You are so mean, twisted, and your pain speaks volumes,
You torture me with your lack of respect,
why do I wish that I can save you?
Muse Dec 2019
Far away into the ethers where I feel you,
is where my heart starts to heal,
the wounds of projections of rejection,
the mountain top that seems so far,
is but a nearby step away,
you uncover my fear.
Muse Dec 2019
She restrains me,
my energy,
my creativity,
my sense of being free.

She molds me,
my ethics,
my mood,
my convictions.

She destroys me,
my heart,
my name,
my vulnerability.

She builds me,
my spirit,
my anthem,
my thoughts of who to be.

She mirrors me,
my soul,
my love,
my sexuality.
Muse Dec 2019
The forbidden areas of my psyche,
has made me an outcast,
and outlier, and identity I hate to embrace.
we try to fit into these holiday parties,
these circles of filthy gold,
areas where we shine,
behind closed doors,
we come to meet ourselves,
loud and bold,
we roar,
for acceptance,
into the clothes we dress in,
the skin that crawls with cries,
the wine we drink to meet each other,
the comfort that sinks in when we know,
that we have yet to know each other,
in the darkness of our psyches,
we are outcast,
just yearning to know,
how to make it in this world.
Muse Dec 2019
The little voice inside
says no.

Don't smoke another cigarette.

The little voice inside says,

It is time for a cigarette.

I have no more time for lies,
lies I tell myself.

I don't have to be my own worse enemy
but how do I become my own best friend?
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