Tomorrow is a dream like always until i play catch up.
Now all I have are memories.
Each time I look back I misplace a detail
Make it more than what it was.
It happens in a moment
The subtle changes of life
They add up a person until they vanish in a fog of memory.

I hold my smile in place
Distracting everyone with its flashy friendliness
Its surface impression big enough to hide behind
Im holding onto it balancing like a tightrope walker
My costume and presentation faultless
U can hardly see the cracks appearing
Held together with the tricks and trades of life.

I look back to move forward
Now stained with memories, my feet flounder...
I'm drawn to the patterns of my past
Casting shadows in the now
The becon of my future not as clear as I've envisioned...
Caught up in the woven net of yesterday
tangled and confused
I seek a compass to turn my topsy turvy direction true north.

In the corner of my mind
Where my sadness resides

I dare not peep
I ignore these shadows
And justify my intolerance with lies...

I dont notice it
Slowly
Slowly
Edging closer

Until i am immersed
With my darkness

Everywhere i look
My world is without colour
Like a creeping fog
It engulfs all of me
untill im lost

Upside down musings
Deep in the night
Casting dreams to follow
Down
Down
Into my subconscious
Where murky shadows and haunting fragments weave the road down to my wonderland

The space in me and
in the universe i am a part of...
I cannot see it
Only feel it in the atoms between us
I search to bridge the gap
To fill it with my bones and shape it with my imprint.
All this space to fill...

Peace for now
calm and still...
Thoughtless in thoughtfulness
I am the rising heart song
The rumble of happiness beats in time to my heart.
I must live in my magic
Conjuring and weaving my life's fabic like a seamstress.
Hold steady...
The turbulent uncertaity of life takes a mechanical hand but lead with your heart.
Behold her
The shape
The bold lines
The fierce brave colours.

Let the wind take me away,
so i can float with the endless sky
Sinking into the clouds
looking down to see
all of me
was
nothing more than a mirage.