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my life has gone down
like a towering skyscraper falling to ashes
love has not found me
i am a speck of gray in a room of darkness
family has left me
i am all but alone with my mind as we wait
the sun sets and turns to night
night falls upon me and stay for all eternity
love will not find me
i am lost in a ever sinking hole
there is a light shining upon my face
i am saved, but by whom
i am saved by him
i am saved by myself digging to catch up
I was just a bystander in San Diego’s music festival,  when I heard what sounded like fireworks. But I then realized it was gunshots. I was in a crowd of people fleeing the scene. But something caught my shoe and I tripped, falling under the trampling of people running away. As I was trying to get up a man with a gun stepped forward and I said “please don’t **** me!!!”it was at this moment that I knew that I ****** up! The gunman said calmly” Wrong place, wrong time buddy.” then when he finished talking he shot me over and over and over again.
Then as soon as I felt like I was dead I heard a voice telling me to open my eyes. When I did, I was in a room with a white walls and no ceiling, it only showed the sky. When I started to look around I saw that there was a woman with red hair and light blue eyes sitting in front of me next to a table. She started to speak but I heard no words, when I told her I couldn’t hear her she snapped her fingers and I heard a loud bang. She started to speak again and I heard her say “well Scott Mally Daniels, you have no offensive or racist terms used in your life. And you’re a star student in all you classes, you know how to write 7 languages and you speak and understand 12 different dialects. We can switch your languages to the ones of this world, but you will have to start from scratch.” then I said “ who the hell are you anyway and where am I”.
The woman started to speak then stopped and corrected herself to say "your are dead and this is heaven."
"then that must mean you..your an angel?"
"no i am not an angel, i am god." she said. i was confused because all the bible said was that god was an old man with white hair and a long beard.
i have been a human experiment for the German military research division
i have been a slave
i have been treated unkindly
and left for dead twice
i may have no right to say this
but
it will get better
because at least you don't have to live my life
you don't have to go through what i went through
i may still have kindness in my "heart"
but for a fact my heart is gone
replaced with machinery
i will die with no soul
but at least i can meet you
and die happy
good bye
i need someone to love
someone to talk to
someone to have in company
if you want to love me like everyone else never could
if you want to talk with me please feel free to
i am here to listen
always
Based on a horrible dream!!!!!!

Chapter 1
The Viewers
The blood dripped out of the nasty **** across his chest as the beast ripped vigorously through the ribs. The beast could hear the loud pounding of the heart jumping up and down covered in bits of flesh and bone. As its inwardly curved razor sharp teeth drew closer and closer, a screech from across the hall came from a little boy. He had a yellow shirt, torn up covered in blood with half of his arm ripped off showing nothing left except for a small loose broken bone dangling by a couple veins. The boy was screaming words at the beast, and I couldn’t make out what he was saying, the beast pounced off me and started to sprint down the hall. Only a few meters before the boy it jumped onto the wall and leaped past the boy taking his head clean off his shoulders with not a single movement of it legs. Then i saw the tail whip itself about shaking off blood from the boys body. The beast turned around slowly. it had a grin on its horrifying face as if it was enjoying this it then sprinted up to me with an opened mouth then everything went black.
I woke up from the deepest slumber with a shocking scream, as if all hell broke loose inside my mind. But this time it occured at only 1:45 instead of 2:00. It’s occurring earlier than usual, could this be a sign that it will be happening sooner than expected. Or thats a least what i thought as i climbed out of my old tattered sheets. I opened my eyes to the smell of newly cooked eggs, and the sight of my roomba bringing me breakfast as it tries to maneuver its way through the carpet. I think to myself “it’s going to be another great day”, as i go to get the meal from the little robot. I waved towards the glass panel where the doctors are standing writing on a clipboard. I shave off the hair of my beard as the razor blade softly touches the skin on my chin.
As i was getting dressed i was having flashes of the dream, i was starting to get light headed. The doctors were seeing my heartrate rise, my blood was flowing rapidly through my body. My nose started to bleed, with a rush of blood i fell to the floor squirming around like a dying worm. My eyes started to shake in  my head, suddenly i felt almost like there was a sharp point trying to find its way through my head and push out my eye. But it was failing miserably, it was already in my eye trying to find a way out. It sees the light, its going through the my pupil as it punctured a hole in my eye causing it to blow apart. Almost as if someone had taken a small shaving knife slicing across the retina allowing the inside of his body to find a way out through the head.  Blood squeezing out all over the side of my face. With a handful of worms starting to pour out of my eyes onto the floor you can already tell it was another failed experiment. The lab coats didn’t care about it, they only started laughing throwing their clipboards at my bleeding corpse. Then one man steped forward and said “ there’s no need to get mad boys we’ll start running tests on the little girl next….. Just you wait Josaia, I’ll bring you back one way or another.” grinning from cheek to ****** cheek he smashed my head with his foot causing the blood to splatter all over his lab coat. Then everything after that was plain black with the faintest voice saying “on to the next one, I’m done with you, you stupid insect”.

Chapter 2
Swallowed
I was in my bed fast asleep, waiting for the drugs to kick in as I’m thinking ” I can’t wait to die today”.
Then I felt like the bed just got swallowed by the ocean and blood started to fill my lungs as I tried to breath. But to my liking I can somewhat breath a little while the blood is flowing through all my pores. My skin starts to stretch, making holes in my arms and legs. As the bed fills with all my blood, my skin rips off, piece by piece.  With skin overflowing and falling off the bed, my final thought is “I finally get to see you again.¨
Out of the silence, I hear the gurgling of the blood in my throat and lungs. My stomach explodes all over the wall and suddenly the six legged creature is standing above me. The demonic beast, its rows of teeth rotating back and forth, ***** the gore and guts out of me with its enormous tongue, curling the organs into its mouth.
I can see that this thing was once human, with its heavy eyes glaring at my face, trying to see that I was more than just a meat sack waiting to be eaten.  For this moment, I am the monsterś life source. In this minute, before it goes to finish off my family downstairs, the creature is somehow keeping me alive.  
As I try to close my eyes to die off,  this thing, this Ït¨ won’t let me.  The monster  wants me to see something. I hear a voice inside my head say “Stand up I want to show you something amazing.¨  I do what it tells me. I stand.  And then I start walking toward the blood covered stairs.
The sound of buzzing and thumping captures my attention. Without hesitation I jump the stairs to the bottom.  I see blood splattered over the walls and furniture. The bodys were torn apart and spread across the floor as I looked around the room. The thumping grows louder as it gets closer, searching for me.
!!Then I see her.  One girl still alive, still kicking, with blood all over her face. Her white dress was *****, ******, and torn up. you could see the skin off her thigh it was clearly human, with beautiful tan skin, it had dirt and blood mixed together to make almost rust colored prints up and down her legs. Then the voice in my head said ¨ look closer my boy, blink a couple times if you must. Things aren't always what the seem to be¨, so i blinked and rubbed my eyes a little. The girl slowly turned into this horrific figure. The legs had bites taken out of them, the skin was black and rotten the dress was drenched in blood. It was torn up so much that you could see most of her internal organs hanging out, but still, they were holding on by just a couple threads of flesh.
The little girl i saw only a couple seconds ago was completely gone and replaced with a rotting corpse that looks like it had be here for years, untouched by everything until an animal came in and ripped chunks out of her body to disturb the silence and peace her body had with the world. Her face was torn off entirely nothing left but broken, displaced, rotting bone and flesh. I could see that her body was being held up by strings attached to the ceiling, yet they were stitched into her head and body. Then out of nowhere she screeched, breaking her jaw off its hinges, and she jumped on top of me starting to tear out my flesh and bone.
I could not feel the pain I was supposed to, it was strange because death was not a concern to me at the time. I just want to drift off into the darkness in the back of my mind, and so I did with one last thought of her ̈I am coming Hope we will see each other, once again ̈.


Chapter 3
Obedience
It was an early night for me when my family went out of town to get away from me and my problems, and I prayed to God to send down a sign that i can have one person or one thing become loyal and trusting.
Around 11:30pm, I was suddenly awoken by an unearthly screech, it sounded like it was coming from right outside the window. Yet it still sounded like it came from right next to my ear, it sounded enormous and deadly with its piercing screech. I got up from my comfortable bed and went to the window only to see a silhouette of a giant creature leap into the darkness only meters away from where it was standing. I thought to myself that it must have powerful hind legs for it to jump that far. My mind was racing, thinking about if that creature only ran away because it saw me or if it did that on purpose, I can not stop thinking about whether or not I locked the door.
The next thing I knew, I heard banging around in the kitchen and I thought I heard a growl of some sort. Then the steps started creaking with a heavy thud, the beast is getting closer. It can smell the fear inside my mind. I can hear the light small breaths easing closer and closer to the door. The monster is at the door, I can see it’s shadow staying still right in front of the door. The seconds ticking by is increasing the tension between the terror in my mind and the horror beyond the door.
With a mind full of twisted things and different ways the next minute can go, I didn’t realize the creature had already opened the door and was peeking its head inside. The things head was pale with small strands of hair coming out the top, the teeth were sharp with blots of blue at the tip. Its horns were the most torn up almost like they went through a tree shredder, and still made it out without a second to spare. The face looked like a wendigo but had longer ears and more of a sharp dagger like eyes set on one thing and one thing only, meat. And from the looks of it I was the only meat around for a while.
From the second our eyes met I knew for a complete fact, my life was over. The beast started to walk up to me, and without hesitation, I put my hands out in front to protect myself. It just stood there for a quick second then it leaned its forehead against my palm and started to growl something then stopped itself before any sounds could come out. I said out loud “what the **** are you doing, do something”, upon hearing this, the beast says to me in a calm but deep voice “Is this what you wish me to do”?
I gaze upon its face as it says these words, as if I have never heard anything talk before. I never knew that the beasts of the forgotten woods can speak the same way as humans. The ones that speak to people when in their natural form are called familiar’s. I have never heard of one in real life, these things are usually in video games and story books maybe even folklore.
The creature spoke with fragile and gentle words when it said once again “is this what you wish me to do?”, I had no clue what I wanted to say to it. Before I could think, I said “what do you want from me”. The creature answered- with these exact words, “for you to command my soul. In doing so, you will wash away my eternal damnation, curing me to go back to the place for which I would call home and you heaven”.
I was staring in awe, when it stood there for a good minute or two. I then mustered up the courage to say “what do I call you from here on out? Or do I just name you”? The beast spoke in one of the most soothing voices I have ever heard when it said “Arzania rolice was my name before I became this hideous demon, devouring humans who defy the natural law of the wicked.” with a resentful manner when it ended that sentence.
I then said with surprise in my tone, “so you were a woman”. “Were?” said arzania with a bit of anger in her voice. “Were!? I still am! For your information during the day I originate back, and turn at night.” she said with that little bit of anger turning into sadness.
please send me comments on how i am doing i need people to tell me so i can rearrange this book
and again i know this is not a poem but still will you help me?
sometimes those who talk to you first
can be a great friend waiting to happen
sometimes those who give advice are those who know it best
everyone who reads this please take this to heart
you are beautiful
you are kind
you may not see it
but we have something in common already
we are people of this world
in reading this you are taking a chance
as always i am alone
we are alone
yet together
no matter what you may feel
we are all brothers and sisters
under one name
it is not god or a person
but together we are under
mankind
take this as you leave today
we are whole
one lost
puts us all into panic
we are among friends, family,
we are among mankind
be yourself
be you
be who you want to be
just don't get lost
with out others knowing why
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