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Zero Chase Mar 2019
So many thoughts racing
I just keep pacing
These devilish thoughts are the ones I'm facing
So i just gotta turn away
No i aint runnin
But im starting a new day
I sent my demonds out to play
I locked the door behind them and told they could not stay
I put my emotions in a box and sent them away
I look well and alive but deep inside I don't wanna face the day
I wanna lock my self in a room
Because I still got missory and depression knocking at my door
I got anxiety and bi polar creeping threw the floor
I can't go back to the old me but he has me pinned to the floor
I can't take this ******* any more
Foot on the gas and it's to the floor
Trying to stay on track
But the simple little crack turns into the canyon
I feel so deserted an abandon
Family don't even notice it or care
Friends are hardly even there
Felt like I was almost there
The top was in reach
Now I gotta find every peice of the puzzle again
New shapes
New peices
Zero Chase Mar 2019
Im stuck in my head
Ive heard everything you said
Ive done my best to put my emotions to bed
But they keeping getting the better of me
Yeah, how ****** of me
To keep letting these thoughts control me
But what i need is someone to hold me
Let me know they adore me

All my life ive been the door stop
Or you could say the cheap pad lock that every key unlocks
But im that heavy door that wont budge
you can keep pounding and keep screaming you love me
But the words wont budge me

Dont buddy me
Ive closed off
Every open door walled off
Scared the next person is gonna crawl off
Crawl off with a peice of me that i wont get back
Thinking of it sends me into a panic attack
So i just grab another mask off the rack
And pretend like my mind isnt under attack
And that putting it lightly
Even with you standing beside me
The darkness feeds inside of me
Growing stronger
The grip i had is no longer
This is my first post. I will post many more. I am young but i struggle with major mental illness, so please keep a open mind. I do not follow correct grammar or punctuation.

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