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Klita Sep 2019
I could walk out this door right now
I could start walking
                           and walking
                                          and walking
Till my throat runs dry
Till my feet begin to bleed and blister
Till my legs give out
And still never stop

And find a place
Where the sun smiles down
And the world is full of color
And breathing comes naturally

But I won't
I'll stay
I’ll unwillingly persevere
Because I have nowhere else to go
Until I'm allowed to leave
I wrote this awhile back
Klita Feb 2020
Being with you
Is like having a staring contest
With the sun
No matter what
I always lose
Klita Sep 2019
Swimming in a sea of candy colored dreams
Drowning in my sleep
Colors swirl around me
The light in me is fading

I try to breathe
But to no avail
And with horror I realize
This is the end of my tale

The very thing that brought me joy
Is slowly chipping me away
Filling my lungs
Leaving me to decay

I flail and kick
Trying to swim
Towards the surface
As my vision starts to dim

My fingers graze the surface
I can see the sun
I'm almost there
I've almost won

Suddenly im pulled down
Deep into the depths
Dark spots clouding my vision
With candy colored dreams as my only company
Klita Oct 2019
This cursed heart
So naive
So h o p e f u l  
Its disgusting
Its p a i n f u l
its hurTING ME
S T O P I T
P l e a s e
I
  C
     a
        n
           t  
             B
                r
                  e
                     a
                        t
                          h
Klita Oct 2019
You See plain brown eyes
And acne covered skin
I see the earth after a rainy day
And a sky l i t t e r e d with
c o n s t e l l a t i o n s

You think I'm loud
And that I have no brain
But I have lungs of g o l d
And s t a r d u s t in my veins

You see stretch Marks
You see fat
I see a warrior
With stories to l i v e
Stories to w r i t e
Stories to t e l l

You think I'm boring, plain, ugly
But I know I'm beautiful
And that's enough for me to stay
Klita Mar 2019
Do not tell me to get off my phone
And claim “you're on it too much, kids these days can't put it down no matter what we say “
Then spend hours on end doing the same

Do not tell me to use my words
And claim “ I'm not a mind reader! If you tell me I'll listen to what you have to say”
Then turn and ignore me when I finally obey

You say I'm introverted and keep to myself
You get mad when I give short answers and don't run about
Yet when I try to talk or engage in activities
You degrade me and berate me with all kinds of negativity

I'm done trying to please you
I'm done with your claims
I'm done with your unending and ridiculous games

It's time to move on
And finally be free
Because without your berating
I can finally be me
Klita Sep 2019
The stench of it fills the air
Flooding the car
seeping into my lungs
Overwhelming my senses

She says nothing
She doesn't have to

I can feel the disappointment radiating off her
Drowning me
Suffocating me

Just from the look in her eyes
I know
I have failed her
Again

Its pushing me into my seat
Holding me down
Like invisible shackles
Worn and cold

I'll try to do better
I can do better
I have to do better
I will do better

To fail is not an option
I dont fail
We don't fail
We win
Klita Oct 2019
Petals are falling
Softly
On my eyelids
Filling my soul
With beauty
And my mind
With peace

Rain is falling
Lightly
On my hair
Curling it at the ends
Bringing it back
To its natural form
And cleansing me
Of the pain
From today

Tears are Falling
Slowly
Down my cheek
No more words to be said
I've reached my peak
Klita Mar 2019
I am nothing important
No one special
Just the secondary character
That people meet and leave on their journey

Im the friend you talk to when your true ones are gone
Im the Icecream you take because the better options have run out
Im not good, im not bad
Im just ok

Im not special not grand
Quite honestly im bland
I stand in the back and rarely raise my hand

The teachers all know me
Yet forget my name
It's like a word you've forgotten
That tickles the back of your brain

As you try to remember where you've seen my face
“It's ok,” I say masking my hurt
“people forget me all the time anyway “
Even though I've been in this class since the 9th grade

Im nothing
No one
Another forgotten face
And I've accepted that ill never find my place
Klita May 2019
There is a girl I see walking by
Hints of purple beneath her eyes
All she wears are long sleeved shirts
Hiding a multitude of hurt

A boy walks after
Crusin by
Hints of purple line his wrist
Hiding behind fits of wit

A couple then comes side by side
Her face caked in makeup
Hiding the hints of purple from last night
“it's fine,” she thought “he apologized”

His face hides a smirk
At the hints of purple on his knuckles
Most blind to the truth that lurks behind his eyes
In an unsolvable puzzle

Watch out for the hints of purple
Klita Oct 2019
There you stand
In all your gloriously impossible perfection
Absolutely s t u n n i n g
Skin glowing brighter than the moon
In a clear
Night sky

I wish someone saw me the way I see you
I know love
Is something we will never share
And that's ok
but
I will always look at you
Like you are the moon
Because
You were the first
to make me realize
I CAN love
And that is a beautiful thing
Klita Sep 2019
I wish my happiness
Was not a lie
I wish my family
Would realize how much I try
To be who they want
             To live how they want
                       To achieve what they want
But I am not him
And I am not them
I am not her
And I am not you

I am no one
N o t h i n g

So until I find who I am
Ill float through life
Looking
Hoping
Wishing
For
    A Sign
        A whisper
                 A G  l  i m  m  e  r

Of who I can b e
Klita Sep 2019
The title of my story
Has yet to be written
Staring at the screen
Trying to make the words come to me

All to no avail
I just sit
And continue to fail
Wondering hopelessly
If the words have run out

Type and erase
Type and erase
I've built up a rhythm
No inspiration can replace

Type and erase
Type and erase
I am hopelessly stuck
In this null space
Klita Oct 2019
Let’s stay
For just a second more
In this perfect moment
While they are out there
Worrying and weeping
Crying and sighing
Let's stay here

Where the earth is calm
And the waves brush the shore
Filling the air
With a melody more beautiful
than leaves
crunching
on an autumn day

Where there are no worries
Where the wind tickles our cheeks
And we can swim in the clouds
And run with rays of sun

Let’s stay in this perfect moment
feel the sand between our toes
Light our babylon candle
And join the stars
When they come out to dance
Klita Feb 2020
I've got my hand on the doorknob
But you're pulling me back
Begging me to stay
Your voice beginning to crack

I've got the door open
Your tugging on my clothes
Crying in my shoulder
You won't let me go

I've got one foot out the door
You've fallen on your knees
Silence filling the room
Not a word, not a peep

I'm running out the door now
Down the road
On my way
To find a new home
Klita Mar 2019
I like to get lost in imaginary places
With imaginary thoughts
And imaginary faces

You tell me over and over again
Get off your phone
Get out of your head
Join us and become real again

But being real hurts too much
And no matter what im not enough
To satisfy your expectations
And my determination wavers with every breath

Every breath is agony
I want to be everything you want me to be
I try so hard to satisfy you
But in the end, I just barely scrape by

So I'll stay in my world where no one can harm me
In various places where I can be anything
Where people are proud of me and I can accomplish anything

Because when im real im just a disappointment
So let the internet be my glass menagerie
Klita Nov 2019
there are roses growing
from my hands
My doubt the seeds
Begging them to grow

There are roses climbing
up my arms
digging in my skin
but i am numb
to their thorns and beauty

There are roses growing
in my lungs
bloodied petals
filling my throat
and falling from my lips

Tears are sliding
down my cheeks
I've had enough
I am to weak
Klita Mar 2019
We all hold secrets deep in our hearts
We all hold secrets that prevent us from a brand new start

Your mailman might have a bright smile
But his daughter is ill
And will never be able to walk down the aisle

Or maybe your teacher has a serious face
But deep inside they wish to be free
And be the person they have always wanted to be

We all have secrets that hold us back
We all have secrets that make us think back

Your friend might be quiet and calm
But deep inside there is an unheard song
That came from a memory deep in their heart
A beautiful memory but one that pulls them apart

Or maybe your sister is being silly and loud
And all she wants is you to come down from your cloud
Because she is lonely and misses the old days
Where you would do nothing but talk and play

We all hold secrets deep in our hearts
And some may never find a new start
Klita Nov 2019
Air keeps scampering away
and i'm chasing after it
Running in circles
Around you
Still you don't see me

Im screaming
Thrashing
Begging
But still you don't see me

I'm on my knees
Tugging at my hair
Bloodied fingers
Scratching my skin
But still you don't see me

I've given up
Air escapes me
The light is fading
The back of your head
The last thing I see
Klita Sep 2019
Shadows bounce in the corners of my mind
Tugging at the memories
I've buried inside
Making me doubt my sanity

Shadows dance in the corner of my sight
Teasing my eyes
Just out of reach
Blooming like blotches of ink

These tricks of the mind
These shadows of the mind
Are becoming blind to my senses
and the smell of Aconites consumes me
Klita Sep 2019
Body wrapped in a blanket
Like a shield from the darkness
Creeping in the edge of my vision
Lurking and begging me to look

Stay awake
Must not sleep
Or the monsters in my dreams
Will consume me in my sleep

Stay awake
Must not dream
Or my nightmares
Will become reality

Sleep is calling me
With a gentle lullaby
Softly calling
softly Singing “ close your eyes”

Still I refuse
Resisting the tug on my eyelids
I must stay awake
Sleep must not win
Klita Oct 2019
Snow has begun to fall
On this dreary october morning
Numbing my feet from cold
And making my hands shake

Snow has begun to fall
On the gray sunless day
The powder coating my lashes
My nose, red from winter's breath

Autumn has ended
Winter has begun
And as the snow falls
We fall
Back
Into ourselves
Our shields of happiness
Melting like the snow
And the gloom and sadness revealed
Can only be cured
By a cup
Of hot coco
Klita Sep 2019
Angel's walk among us
Those thrown in another life
Broken wings and broken eyes
Contemplating suicide

There are mermaids
Who are swift and fast
Gliding through without a glance
Wishing and hoping
Someone will give them a chance

Fairy's fly around us
Their words teasing our ears
Mocking at first
Fears falling on deaf ears

And many more I cannot mention
For there is no more time

Thoughts are said to cost a penny
Sadly mine will cost a dime

But this I give to you for free
So listen with care and hear me

Though many are forgotten
You will never be
Klita Sep 2019
The four walls that surround me
Once freeing now trap me
Nowhere to go
Nothing to do
In this jail that I outgrew

Im banging on the walls
Smashing chairs and dreams
Tearing them at the seams
Trying to see a crack of light
Behind the walls
In this jail that I outgrew

Alas I give in
No matter what I cannot win
My knuckles are bloodied
My chest heaving
I've given it all I've got
And I'm trapped again
In this jail that I outgrew
Klita Mar 2020
I feel like I'm rotting

From the outside in

The longer I sit here

And bury it down

The faster the rot s p r e a d s

starting at my fingertips

Inching its way closer

And closer

To my heart
Klita Sep 2019
Wake up
School
Homework
Repeat

Wake up
School
Homework
R e p e a t

An endless cycle
Of mind numbing work
Chipping away at my brain
The stress of failing
The only thing moving the pencil on my page

Type type type
This screen is giving me a migraine
My eyes are drooping
My fingers are aching

But I cant fall asleep
I must stay awake
I have 3 essays due
Plus a math test to retake
Klita Oct 2019
I am a walking telephone

Connecting others

And then set aside

Until I am needed again
#telephone

— The End —