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1d · 25
everybody has to grow
even lexi only 19
young and naive
wants to find a way to be
fight the science
in deviance
but she grows quick
and passes young
the graveyard fills
with rain from her tears
washing her casket away
2d · 302
four simple letters
yet i wait so long
for those words
to grace my lips
four letters close
written together
please now that i can say it will someone
somewhere in america
there's a girl
being felt up in the subway
shes still in her uniform
that's part of the appeal
its hard to
R U  N
in a skirt and mary janes
and her teachers know it is too
somewhere in america
a girls trying to find
the perfect prom
well im looking in the
lost & found
cause winter's coming
and that's the only coat
i have
cause mommas working
for the government
momma only gets paid once a
somewhere in america
see you later
see ya
o the many ways we said goodbye
i wish you
were near me now
the tears that stream down
o the many ways we said goodbye
I  H A T E  Y O U
i never want to see you again
your words sting
how could you say that
when just a month ago
you loved me
but know your gone
o the many ways we said goodbye
i hated the last one the most
5d · 24
im sorry i cant
i clench my fist
holding my jaw tight
his hands travel lower
"is this alright"
i want to say no
but i can't move my lips
i turn my head
not wanting to meet his eyes
i let his hands travel
just a bit farther
he says i can say no
and inside i want to
but i let him pull me down
my back on the
satin sheets
they wrap around us
engulfing our body's
tears well in my eyes
as i push him off me
my heart sinks
i look at him and shake my head
the only words that i could say where
im sorry i cant
5d · 19
my father
i remember his eyes
they weren't kind
they were dark
like a rats
i cant use words
he stole from me
things that i didn't know
could be taken fro me  
at the age of five
i had seen more
pain and destruction
than many would see
in there lifetime
yet you stole the only thing
i was holding onto
something i wanted to save
for the man
who would oneday
fall in love with me
i wanted to wait till marriage
but know i may
not ever be able to
because of what was
from me
by you
5d · 44
he sat in the back
as silent as a mouse
i watch from a far each day
as bruise form
across his cheeks
i know his pain
i can see his dreams
he isn't yet a he
but very close
the students words are cruel
his gender switch was hard
i felt so bad
i spoke to him
hoping my kind words
could heal him
he was rude at first
but than he warmed up
like a fire in an iceberg
slowly melting away
drops of water
into warm kind person
Jan 10 · 29
is there anybody out there
looking out for me
just say you want me
just say you need me
is every last solder
******* me over
cause i feel alone in this battle
broken and damaged
killed by a savage
brain fights
reaching for a lifeline
Jan 9 · 23
night shift
i see the kids
who get awards
for things like
perfect attendance
and best grades
but why not an award
for working the
night shift
cause momas adicted
and daddys gone
moma cant work
cant be sober long enough
so tell me
why don't they
have an award
for keeping your family
off the streets
i come in late
and all you do is scowl
but you don't know
what its like
working from six to three
for less than minimum wage
i dont to math homework
because im to busy  
doing taxes and paying bills
Jan 9 · 29
what i call home
the stench is strong
the  cigarettes
burn in the tray
my eyes burn
as i strain to see
in the smoky haze
the hunger
in my stomach grows
but the fridge is empty
i chew on my gums
allowing the hunger
to subside
the door opens
i stare at the floor
my eyes fearful
he walks in
i plead in my mind
for someone
to save me
my eyes flash
as his hand
strikes my face
Jan 9 · 31
the morrow in which we rise. cyanide in the muzzle of the saint bernard sea A one man cult though of course a soft harmonious tune of luminescent ink must remain present in time.

a room
with a
locked door
and pastel walls
i sit in the corner
the door bangs
the knocks of
people i should want
in my life
i don't
the comfort
found in my isolation

A bathe in bleach; mat on the ground. I've began stories most fun. arsonist of the claw i must ask our lovely raven why must i take part in this so. they've ridiculed me tearing my wings to which I turn to the burrows of skin inhabited by maggots and tar. a melted candle pierced with rusted nails. the keyhole will tell

my head
in my hands
the tears
pouring from
my eyes
my heart
softly braking
i could
turn to alcohol
but then
i would be
my father
i cant smoke
cant stand
the smell
and so
here i sit
to the only thing
that ever
helped me
get through
the isolation

his crown leans off the side of his head with sunken eyes he's consumed every bit of light he sees. of night is to day the sparrow wouldn't hesitate to call the end of me.
this was a collaboration between me and sylvester michalis
Jan 8 · 32
when i come home
when i come home
my tears will dry
when i come home
my eyes wont hurt
when i come home
you words won't touch me
when i come home
i will find myself
Jan 8 · 47
they sit on my skin
with whirling purples
deep blues
mustard yellows
dark browns
colors mixing
like a painting
that lies just beneath
the skin
a man
who never loved me
left me these
to solely
remind me
that i was never wanted
i was a mistake
and i'm reminded
during his often
drunk fits
the alcohol
seems to control him
more than he
could control it
Jan 8 · 24
cigarette burns
he always stunk
of whisky
and cigarette smoke
his skin a yellow
showing his jaundice
i sit still
on his *****
and quite stained
there i wait
as he finishes
his cigarette in long drags
and puts it out on my skin
adding yet another to my
cigarette burns
Jan 8 · 24
i love you
three words
three simple words
yet i struggle for days
and still cant let the words
slip through my lips
i still couldn't tell you
no matter how hard
i tried
but i want
you to know
though i can't say it
i love you
Jan 8 · 28
passenger seat
my head gets lost sometimes
inside of itself
the colors mesh together
the voices blur
andi look at my life
from the passenger seat
Jan 8 · 128
what am i doing here
why did i come here
i have been  smoking
i have been drinking
i have been looking for a reason
to my life
i feel like i'm not doing this right
the minute hand
keeps rolling around our clocks
i love watching my life from
the sidelines
feeling there in the moment
yet lost in my head
Jan 8 · 25
foster care
i guess i was brought up
in quite a different time
or maybe its the feeling
of abandonment
i have always felt inside
my parents left me
in the hospital
while i cried
the doctors
used foster care
in hopes
i would have
a better life
and so family
to family
i was pasted along
from one broken home
to the next
some were kind
but most were not
they beat us
black and blue
till our eyes swelled shut
and our lips were fat
i prayed to a god
that i found no refuge in
but one day i will escape
the pains of
foster care
Jan 7 · 23
school systems
sit quietly
put your hand down
no question is dumb
except that one
don't look at that
focus on me
your opinion is wrong
who told you that
you were aloud to
have an
dont talk back to me
if you defend yourself
you will be suspended
don't answer when i ask questions
keep your thoughts to yourself
you know nothing
this is my subject to teach
don't act like you know the answers
it doesn't matter if
you already know this
don't work ahead
Jan 7 · 50
barely living
i'm alive
but barely living
i've survived
but i'm barely surviving
i sit all alone
but barely feel lonely
i walk with others
but barely talk
i live with a family
but barely feel loved
i have friend
but there barely friendly
but that's the life
of the barely living
Jan 7 · 355
the perfect human
you see her
at least the shell
she allows
she builds it up
there are no cracks
there are no fractures
the perfect human
she's never rude
she's never frowning
and only when she is alone
can she breath
a breath of relief
and let down her shell
Dec 2019 · 22
melanie jackson Dec 2019
the place i come back to
but at home
i dont know who i am
so i leave home
to find myself in the real world
but i should've never left home
because now im forever on my own
and i miss you home............
Dec 2019 · 32
christmas time
melanie jackson Dec 2019
long crystals frozen
on tops of roofs
the snow coats
the thick green grass
christmas lights
hang limply off trees
the people are joyful
i fake a smile
and say im happy
but deep inside
the thought of you
eats away at me
Dec 2019 · 40
melanie jackson Dec 2019
watch the smoke
poor out the doors
the fire climes
my head dizzy
was i wrong
should i not
have listened to his
after all
he was
a twisted soul
but was he wrong
i got the inspiration for this poem from heathers the musical as an alternate ending i swear i'm not arsonistic  i just felt like writing something from veronica's point of view
Dec 2019 · 29
stop the clock
melanie jackson Dec 2019
wait a minute
can we just stop
the clock from
on and on
the hands turn
you hold me close
but you will soon
be gone
so can time stop
so you can
hold me
just for a few minutes
can we please
stop the clock
Dec 2019 · 36
being used
melanie jackson Dec 2019
i feel like
you've used me
because i've been
used before
i act dumb
because my heart
is numb
but one day
i will use
you right back
because i wont
let you win this
outrageous fight
Dec 2019 · 172
losing myself
melanie jackson Dec 2019
im lost in my head
were is the  real me
she loves to hide
and when shes gone
i take over searching for her
i don't know how to feel things
but while shes gone
i must do my job
im  at the bottom
but i dont know
what my problem is
Dec 2019 · 38
trust issues
melanie jackson Dec 2019
i regret watching my
trust issues eat me alive
and at this rate i'm never
going to heal in time
i can't escape them
not even when i die
so i will sit alone with my
trust issues
Dec 2019 · 43
mental pain
melanie jackson Dec 2019
physically abused
that's one thing i don't want
to remember
its not blurry
i think i just don't
want to see it
you used to put me in the corner
to watch the fear in my eyes
then you brought me downstairs
to beat me till
i screamed and i cried
wish i could forget this
but its rooted deep inside
congratulations cause you'll
always have a place
in my mind
Nov 2019 · 32
melanie jackson Nov 2019
fire on fire
we stare at the flames
hand in hand
eyes jumping with excitement
unsure of the out come
but not ready to give up
you hold my face
staring deep into my eyes
our lips meet
and my heart melts
but then your hands leave
and you fall to the ground
your  body frozen
tears in my eyes
a ****** knife
i clench
within my white knuckles
the sirens call
and i run
leaving you there
my tears are dry
my smile returns
but you lay still
eyes full of emptiness
i wave one last time
and descend into the darkness
Nov 2019 · 32
melanie jackson Nov 2019
the tiniest lifeboat
filled with people i know
the people who hurt me
the people who broke me
on the tiniest lifeboat
filled with people i know
the people who broke me
the people who hate me
on the tiniest lifeboat
filled with people i know
Nov 2019 · 78
save yourself
melanie jackson Nov 2019
save yourself from
the pain i caused
save yourself from
the broken pieces
save yourself from
the mess i create
save yourself from
the things i have done
save yourself from
the person i have become
save yourself from
the walls i build to high
Nov 2019 · 186
once upon a time
melanie jackson Nov 2019
once upon a time
when i was younger
i could smile
when everything hurt
because i couldn't understand
i didn't know that you
were slowly killing yourself
right in front of my eyes  
like i was nothing
like you never cared
so i will end this story
the way many have before
with a simple little
the end
Nov 2019 · 80
trust issues
melanie jackson Nov 2019
i hate to get personal
but my mind is a bowl
catching drips
from her problems,
from his problems,
i can solve there's quickly
but refuse to solve my own
i pray if i don't think of it
maybe i can make it disappear
because god knows
i can't deal with them
i'm too scared
that if i tell them to you
you will leave
and desert me
like what happened
with my very own family
so inside i hide
from you
from him,
from him,
but its not because i don't like you
but because i simply can't trust
because inside i'm broken
Nov 2019 · 28
popping pills
melanie jackson Nov 2019
i sit in a room
with a parent i barely know
addicted to the pills
scent of cigarette
you promise you will come
but then a minute before
you have some crazy excuse
they say the high is fun
im not laugh am i
but you didn't care
you were to busy
popping your pills
but you left us behind  
those pills got you
didn't they
cause you cant stop
popping your pills
melanie jackson Nov 2019
all the kids are depressed
nothing's ever ok
staying up till daylight
hoping **** is ok
but nothing ever is
when your life's a mess
and your head a curse
with nowhere to run
from the things
that are to come
and nothing ever makes sense
and i cant ever escape this
every story leaves you broken
picking up the pieces
from the cold floor
so all the kids are depressed
Nov 2019 · 32
a box of memories
melanie jackson Nov 2019
a box of memories
some good
some bad
a shoe box full
some sad
some joyful
a box of what i can't remember
some painful
some lovely
a shoe box spilling over
some heart breaking
some heart mending
Nov 2019 · 22
mind room
melanie jackson Nov 2019
i write on these walls
the words in my head
i put holes next in the wall
i wish i could stop
i guess my problem
is that i don't fix my problems
i paint over them
but the paint is thin
and it can still be read
reading one of the first things
when i lost my trust
for the family surrounding
the worst after i lost my hope
that was long ago
one day this door will open
and i will clean the walls
Nov 2019 · 119
melanie jackson Nov 2019
heart like fire
mind like stone
eyes like diamonds
our awful lives
have been disguised
by the beauty on the outside
Nov 2019 · 31
my heart
melanie jackson Nov 2019
there goes my heart again
and you are the reason
i need you know
and there goes my head throbbing
cause i need your heart
just come back home
you leave here
all alone
Nov 2019 · 38
winter wonderland
melanie jackson Nov 2019
the morning sun
upon my face
the bitter cold
nips my nose
the soft snowflakes
fall across my cheeks
the winter breeze
allows my hair
to freeze
welcome home
winter birds!
as christmas begins
Nov 2019 · 24
in this dark
melanie jackson Nov 2019
once again
i tried to hard
to pull you in
and now im scared

your tongue
spoke lies
your humor
was quite dry

but once again
i broke myself
on a hopeless sliver
of how you spoke

your eyes
were dark
your lips
were soft

never did i think
you would leave me
here in this dark
Nov 2019 · 33
what i need
melanie jackson Nov 2019
i know
what i need
yet you insist on telling me
what i need
you told me to hurt myself like its
what i need
you told me that hope is
what i need
you told me smiling is
what i need
but how can i when you say
what i need
like you control all of
what i need
but i know best
what i need
Nov 2019 · 1.2k
melanie jackson Nov 2019
i sit alone
in a room full of people
i observe the groups
they laugh, they talk
i sit silently trapped
inside a cell i made myself
inside my head
i scream wanting to leave
wanting someone to save me
but lower i fall
i can fake a smile
fake a laugh but
what no one sees is the girl inside
but still i say i'm living
i can say i'm fine
but one day
when im older
i will defeat depression
Oct 2019 · 18
melanie jackson Oct 2019
here i sit
at a table of wood
listening to you
your lectures long
and i don't learn
my eyes move around the room
trying to make out
the reason i need to know
things like
writing essays about short stories
how to use a 3D printer
and algebra
yet you cant teach
money saving
and how to live in our world
these are skills i found i need
but you cant prepare us
Oct 2019 · 36
scarlet letter
melanie jackson Oct 2019
piano tiles
on the floor
broken dreams
thrown across the stars
my heart
inside your hand
your eyes
filled to the brim
my tears
on my cheek
your lies
across your chest
just like a
scarlet letter
Oct 2019 · 179
melanie jackson Oct 2019
here he stand a hopeless boy
on this bridge with a lake
bursting full of orange coy
he looks up praying for a break
my eyes met his
the sorrow disappeared
as his hands slipped
as he fell back
tears popped from my eyes
i knew then he was gone
splash as he hit the ground
and all i could see was the
Oct 2019 · 189
isn't it lovely
melanie jackson Oct 2019
isn't it lovely
sitting here alone
isn't it lovely
listening to you yell
isn't it lovely
seeing you in pain
isn't it lovely
wasting my life away
isn't it lovely
crying every night
isn't it lovely
in this empty house that feels full
isn't it lovely
seeing happy faces around me
isn't it lovely
fakeing my joy
isn't it lovely
feeling my heart break
isn't it lovely
laughing through my pain

isn't it lovely
the questions that i ask you
Sep 2019 · 147
melanie jackson Sep 2019
faster and faster
don't trip up
don't slow down
don't slip up

roots pop up
and weave through
dont catch your foot
or you will fall too

dont look back
it will only slow you down
dont give up
though your heart pounds hard
Sep 2019 · 144
melanie jackson Sep 2019
broken dreams
and ripping seams

a girl sits still
upon a sill

strings pulling hard
she moves not that far

shes controlled by her master
one that does not care

for her at all
cause a puppeteer

is always near
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