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350 · Nov 2019
I cry...
If I cry, what am I crying for?
For me or for you?
Is it the situation or time? For me there is no rhyme...

But I see a pattern, this keeps on happening.
I can't explain it.
I don't understand it.

I just cry...but why?

I look inside, see a glimpse and sigh.
Why do I cry?

Am I crying today, for the same things as yesterday?
I shrug to myself and say...I don't know why, I cry, I really hope I'm not still crying on the day I die.
I write to try and understand what's in my head and make sense of the world. Sometimes I feel like I've got this...others not so.
119 · Apr 2019
Time is irrelevant
Seconds, minutes, hours, days...

You can get over it. Tick, tick.

Days, weeks, months, years...

You're in a different place. Ring, ring.

Decades, centuries, millennium, eons...

We're all the same! Toll, toll.
111 · Apr 2019
Who am I?
I've tried to understand myself, the what, the where, the WHY?

The more I look inside myself, the more I want to cry.

My souls been searched a thousand times and still I ask the question, who am I?

I sometimes think I've cracked it, got the secret, changed my mind. But it's all gone in a blink of an eye, I've ruined things again...Who am I?

No longer can I scream and shout because I've started to just sigh. This never ending question plays on, who am I?

I look to others for validation, or run away from their judging eyes. I'm not sure they can tell me, who am I?

In a day I'll have the answer, in a week I'll kiss it goodbye, in a month I'm going faster, in a year...Who am I?

And I've tried to understand myself, the what, the where, the WHY...But can I ask you a question? Who am I?
101 · Apr 2019
Look after yourself
To look after yourself is the greatest thing.

But how to do this when you've never been looked after.

To know when to stop and when to start. Is difficult when you've had an uncared for heart.

Always at the bottom of the pile, guilt creeps in, can't laugh or smile.

Stay locked away and feel shame and sin.

Please someone look after me.

No,  I can't let anyone in.
75 · Feb 2019
Right now
Right now I am happy...

I feel comfortable and I feel safe.

I feel grateful for my existence and I'm enjoying my life.

I feel a warmth envelop me a hundred times a day.

Reminding me I am alive and content and free.

Right now I am happy...

I am happy to be me.

I know I'm going the right way even though I'm not certain which way that may be.

I know this from my feelings deep down inside.

I've learned to understand me, for so long I have tried.

Right now I am happy...

It's been a journey and I've survived.

I learned the hard way, to be calm and still my pride.

I want others to learn sooner, that way they can enjoy life.

Because right now I'm happy, happy to be alive.
47 · Nov 2019
The lie
A lie, just a little white lie
She told.
Was the lie to hide the truth or how she felt inside
Who knows
In time, a lie becomes a way of life
To save her, to save him
To save them.

— The End —