this sunwarmed apple is still pungent
but starting to rot.
it means the summer is almost over -
my birthday

I breath out a cry
and can not breath in
(heart was shocked by a signal
of exactly how far
all the loved ones are
so it broke into shards).
I see stars
It's the universe
compressing my chest
in a futile attempt to resuscitate
(it's too late)
I say
Come on
Come on
Come on
Come on

when the seventh veil is rent,
i will crack the carapase of my skin.
the flakes will dance in the air and settle,
just to be blown by a gust of roaring fury,
revealing the
infinitely cold and silent
dizzying void underneath it all.
with one, light years away, pulsing star
of pain.
shma.

he cursed me
in clumsy cursive
on a note left for me to find
"you are a child in this world
where we always have to part
with the ones we love.
be happy."
he was 27, tall and dazzling,
a full chinese calendar between us.
we went down on each other that night.
an interc(o)urse of sorts.

parting
is splitting your life
(i'm a child on this earth)
like an earthworm.
both of us wriggling away.

parting
is breaking
(with the ones we love)
a bone.
no telling if we heal.

parting
is going to pieces.

(be pieceful)

when i get older
i will have a small flat
on Rashi pinat Chernichovsky,
with a ******* dog
in a red bandanna,
named Sabaka.
on hot August nights
we will walk to the beach,
i will watch the waves
and Sabaka will watch me,
smiling.

Or may be
I will buy a house in Ein Hod
With a stone fence
And a forged gate
And neglected garden.
I will feed four cats
Three mine and one
That always refuses to come in.
I will water my two roses
One red one white of course.
And take aimless walks
Every morning.

in October and January
i will scavenge through the little shops
for peculiar things
that i will bring
to faraway countries
where i'm needed.

and in March and September
i will take a taxi to the airport
to hug that special person
i will be listening to
and talking to
over a cup of coffee
that will last a week.

but the rest of the year
is silence.

my desolation is so real
you don't even dream about me

i did so much weird ****
in my lifetime
that i don't even have a bucket list

i saw pyramids
and eiffel tower
and empire states building
flew a plane
rode a buggy car in a desert
flew on a trapeze
spent a night in prison
hosted a booth at a **** convention in vegas
was on tv
dj'ed on a radio
waited tables
acted on stage
moved to another country
donated blood
saved a life
pushed two humans out of my body
had ice cream in rome
and goulash in budapest
and surströmming in stockholm
drank guinness in dublin
and ***** in siberia

...rode a rollercoaster
danced on a street
swam in an ocean
floated in the dead sea...

but sometimes it feels like
i'm in a bathtube of that hotel
in hurgada
and all my life was just my brain hallucinating
on the final cocktail of noradrenalin and serotonin
i'm now waiting for the dopamin
to kick in