Gianna: Favorites

Nov 2020 Gianna

Dear 2021

Nov 2020 Gianna

Olivia Bennett

Dear 2021

Long awaited you have been
Please don’t make me spin

last year had enough twists and turns
it’s certainly a time that’s been burned

into my brain and the memories of us all
As I am sure you recall

Please do me a favor
I’ll take you as my savior

do not make this year hell
I just want everything to go well

Be the opposite of last year
Let’s create a new frontier

a better future
where you are not the same abuser

2020 striped me of so much
but 2021 it is you that I trust

#2020 #2021 #covid19 #corona #change #overcome #strength #hope #faith

Jul 2020 Gianna

A Scar to Remind

Jul 2020 Gianna

Empire

A Scar to Remind

tw self harm

Perhaps I’m starting to understand
Tonight, I want desperately
To take the blade to my skin
But only to leave a mark
A reminder
Of what’s happened today

This is a motivation I think I can talk myself down from...
In 12 days, it’ll be two months since my last cutting... I really really don’t want to give up on that progress. Not yet.

#scar #cut #cutting #selfharm #depression #anxiety

Jul 2020 Gianna

10:20 AM

Jul 2020 Gianna

N

10:20 AM

This morning I stared at my
veins, and I realized they’re as
blue as an ocean during sunrise

And I’ve been drowning in
myself since my first breath

For how long must I
breathe underwater?

Am I still alive if my soul
feels like it's sinking
endlessly
into the abyss?

I’m not dead but I’m not alive either.

#drowning #ocean #blue #sunrise #sinking #abyss #death #suicidal #cutting #depression

Jul 2020 Gianna

Suicide Note

Jul 2020 Gianna

N

Suicide Note

I wish to exhale every painful memory,
and wash it away with my salty tears

But my tears had stopped
shedding when I learned
how to bleed instead of cry

Mother,
don’t fright when you
see my blood on the floor,
I was only crying

#suicide #pain #trauma #tears #blood #cry #mother #abuse #cutting #depression

Jun 2020 Gianna

Craving

Jun 2020 Gianna

Empire

Craving

tw self harm

I hear its sweet voice in my head
Making promises
Offering deals....
A little cut to calm the nerves?
That.. that sounds reasonable...
Its voice grows louder and louder
Tempting, coaxing

I don’t want it!
I’m not doing that anymore!
I won’t do it!
I try to protest

But there’s an ache in my heart
A restless, painful void
And while I know it’s not a solution
I do know it’ll release some pressure....
Make it a little easier...
maybe? maybe I’ll try... just a bit...

#selfharm #cutting #depression #anxiety #craving #desire #stress #relief

Jun 2020 Gianna

carry us

Jun 2020 Gianna

Rozana

carry us

reach for my hand
i will not fail you this time
protect you and chase away your fears
make the shadows of the bad men disappear
follow my voice and come to my embrace
I will paint you a different childhood
carry us to a different place
full of giggles and innocence

i need to save you to save myself

Jun 2020 Gianna

No Crying

Jun 2020 Gianna

Ash C

No Crying

You're grown now

You can't cry

I wont allow

So don't you dare try

I know deep down you wanna bawl

But you're grown, you're grown

If you let go, it'll be a waterfall

So claim your throne

Because up there

You're gonna have to bare

#depression #crying #tears #mentalhealth #growing #up #suckitup

Jun 2020 Gianna

Do I Close The Door?

Jun 2020 Gianna

Saga

Do I Close The Door?

Is this what I truly want
To close the door
On every tomorrow
Standing at the edge of Oblivion
At the end of my world
Why am I afraid to be happy?
What is it that truly frightens me?
Living but dead
Wishing to be alive
But afraid to live

#mentalhealth #poetry

Jun 2020 Gianna

hurricane brain

Jun 2020 Gianna

hiraeth

hurricane brain

i don’t know what’s worse — too many thoughts thrashing around like a hurricane in my brain, or the still, eerie silence that comes after the rain

#storm #sea #mentalhealth #sad #thoughts #overthinking #4amthoughts #metaphor #ocean #water