The lines cutting through the canvas,
one by one carving it up.
Slowly turning it into this piece of "art".
The vivid colours jumping from the page
screaming, Look at me! Look at me!
Well, we are looking.
Yet we never truly see what is there.
Days tick by and you're still on my mind.
They say it gets easier,
but really you just learn to live with the pain.
The sadness of not being able to see you again.
It's been years now and I still want to say goodbye.
I wish I could have held you one last time,
but you were taken before I could.
I hope you know I love you,
days tick by and you're still on my mind
Fed up with the world around.
No-one sees the pain within.
Why don't they like me?
What can I do to change?
No matter what I do,
everything stays the same.
All of these thoughts
darting around inside my head.
As I write in my diary
words are leaping onto the two-page spread.
As these words come out, so do the tears
because I start to see all of my fears.
Now that they are in front of me it is all just too much
and so I take out my kit and start to cut....
As the blood runs down my arm
I can feel myself becoming calm.
In my head, I can hear them saying
just keep going and no telling!
I know that these thoughts are sometimes irrational,
but that doesn't stop me from taking them as factual.
Tears fill my eyes.
I don’t want to fight
And I can’t continue these lies!
My mind goes numb
And the damage is done.
I lift the gun
Then I see the sun.
Just take me for what I am
Useless qualities and all
Don't decide how I should be.
Get to know every part of me.
Escape from negative thoughts,
Expectations from society.
No one but you can decide
To see beauty instead of imperfections.
Don't let yourself become a bully
All of us should stand together.
Yesterday is gone but we can try to be better tomorrow.
Roaring cars outside that can barely be heard above the noise in my head.
Beautiful colours all around that can't be appreciated because of the tears in my eyes.
Friends having fun whilst I lie in my bed.
I keep on telling them lies.
I need to find myself
before I fall into this
I can't seem to catch my breath,
it's always one step ahead.
Slipping through the cracks of the walls
whilst I'm stuck to the floor.
My thoughts dance around and around,
summoning the rain cloud that looms above my head.
I want to get better but I don't see how
as my eyes have added a constant filter to the world,
allowing me only to see the bad.
I wish that someone could come and save me from myself.
Pain, it's such a strange thing.
It can make us feel so many different things but also nothing.
I constantly question myself as to how that's possible. To one second feel complete agony but the next, nothing.
How can a feeling have such control over each and every one of our bodies in such different ways?
Although, pain isn't always bad.
Pain can be used to show us that we are still alive!
That we can still feel.
It can show us we are in control.... or perhaps it just likes to let us think that.
Sometimes you have no idea it's coming.
One day you can be completely happy and content with your life then,
Your world is turned upside down.
There doesn't have to always be a trigger
sometimes it's like it just enjoys taking over your body
making sure you feel nothing but pain and sorrow.
There is no escaping it.
It is excruciating.
It is numbing.
It is all around.
Poetry is a release,
of all emotion and thoughts.
Poetry is a safe place,
to escape from all.
Poetry is freedom,
to speak your mind.
Poetry is subjective,
different to each person.
Poetry is forgiving,
you need not be good.
Poetry has no favourites,
it is a friend to all.
Tossing and turning, I lie awake.
1 AM..... 2 AM.....
Eyes heavy yet refuse to shut
3 AM..... 4 AM.....
My mind just won't give up.
5 AM..... 6 AM.....
The light and sounds of birds start to creep in
7 AM..... 8 AM......
and it's too late.
Not long and it will be time to repeat.
struggling to sleep is the worst.
Unknown to the people around them,
Isolate themselves from the world.
Causing them to have so many thoughts,
Ideas they can't control
Decisions running through their head.
Eventually, they decide it's easier to just, end it.
Not everyone is as happy as they seem
The moon stands still in the night sky.
Stars dancing as they catch my eye.
There is no movement in the dead of night.
Slowly time ticks by,
and yet I find myself unmoved.
Transfixed by the calmness of the night.
All I feel is sadness, anger and pain.
It's really beginning to drive me insane.
Sometimes I start to cry,
and no, I don't know why.
People want to understand
and take me by their hand.
They say it's going to be okay.
Turns out that's all they can say.
— The End —