i don’t look
like i’m crying
when i cry.
i’d rather die
than have to try
to explain it.
i’m not worth
most of the compliments
i receive.
the people around me
say too much
without talking
and for me
it’s the opposite
and i can’t seem
to get the right words out
so i keep blubbering on
about how
nobody will ever love me
when they have
but too fast
they fall away
like they were never there
from the start.
i am lost in myself.
chained down
to me.
and i think
i’m ready to be freed.
but that’s a journey
i will be making
by myself
because self love
is so evident
to an onlooker.
and i want to be seen
with it on.

Yes,
My eyes are brown
Richer than the sea.
Yes,
My eyes are brown
The color
Of coffee beans.
Yes,
My eyes are brown
And if there’s nothing I can do
To take your breath away
That’s alright.
Because yes,
I have the eyes
Of a lover
Not a fighter
And I intend
To keep them this way.

Nothing here to see
Just you and me
Sitting in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
Loving and fronting
Just you and me
High on life
Up in the trees

She’s the type of person
Who has the ability
To change a girl
From perfectly straight
To nothing
But wavy lines

When you’re sad
It’s as if
Everything is too bright
And nobody understands
Who you are
Or where you came from
Even if they’re the ones
You’re coming from.
You feel trapped
In yourself
In what you are expected to be
Seeing your flaws laid out
On a map
Tracing the route
From where you are
To where you wish you
Could be
But maybe
I would be happy with me
If I would stop
Speaking without saying anything
And talking without being heard.

You know
You’re in trouble
When the silence
In a room
Is louder
Than the static

87.
Once
I went
To an old folks home
Breathing in
The smell of
Death
Breathing out
Grey air
Wisps of smoke
Puffing out
Until they’re not really quite there
Anymore