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1d · 41
stop sparing me
to surrender to the variables
and turn over my soul
to close my eyes and let

to know if i look
as every light will be you
and i am blinded by it

every heartbeat a phantom footstep
in the hollow house waiting
to wake up in a former life
and meet you in that dream
if god could for once
stop sparing me
you've got your full eye mask
and noise cancelling headphones
on a jet flight from Manchester to Rome
i'm not so into this whole idea of forgiveness
as i'm beginning my descent into Los Angeles
last days of enjoyment
your heist was so brilliant
you left the phone in my car
and now they don't know where you are
spent the last years like the Searcher accompanied only by shame
and now you're just a name
having doubts of doubling back again
as the objects in the mirror appear closer
it seems you're further than ever
there's a fine line between clever and dead

it's true you never can really return from war
there was a letter waiting for me
but i never reached the door
5d · 260
i lived
trying to make sense
of what just happened
kneeling close to you,
i lived
Nov 8 · 399
only praise
mercy party Nov 8
in a coffin size pool
as i am sinking

there will be no last breath curse from me
Nov 5 · 354
tank
mercy party Nov 5
what if i don't make it
as the hum is too much too fast
what if i am pulled under
forever by the past
what if stargazing turned into
being vacuumed up by the sky
and when it all finally comes together
to resemble a plot,  i die
Oct 28 · 304
road of bones
mercy party Oct 28
lost all alone
on the road of bones
the more you pray
the more you're ruined by the rain
In a kingdom of dust
with the sorrow of true love
no dawn would ever find you again
Oct 25 · 389
close to drinking
mercy party Oct 25
i even walked in
and then i ordered it
as it sat there in front of me
i stared contemplatively
i raised it to my lips,
closed my eyes and inhaled the room
then i wished i was in the ether
so i could be with you

i was close to drinking today
because i thought of you
in a weak minute

but you are why i didn't
mercy party Oct 22
it is a long way over here
but it is a longer way back
so i'm off to somewhere else
to the wrong side of the river
i'm not doing so well with things
sorry for the formalities
i was a long way off with you
what you're afraid to go back to
is what keeps you around i guess
it's just the incidentals of business
Oct 19 · 62
my friend
mercy party Oct 19
i know it's been said
on the safe road you're as good as dead
i've been around every bend there is
i've seen what the night can do
and how a war changes you
we all got something that we did

i don't know where you're gonna go tonight
i just hope you're gonna be alright
that you're somewhere safe in your heart and head
and i just hope that you remember me my friend

i think about the times
about the day we met and why
and i don't know how the hell i stayed dry
though fraudulent ways
i guess you could say
the same reason why Dylan hides behind shades
Oct 11 · 82
you just smoke
mercy party Oct 11
not to smoke
i stepped out
to a walkway between
the foundry and the big fencing
that holds up the loose rocks from a cliff
i read a story a few years back
about a man hurling himself off of it
i start to imagine it like the Evelyn McHale scene
not just some hardened heart predictable casualty
like the man with sad eyes in the galley
i wonder if he was in the same phase of desperation as i
a desperation that leads you to such a rational crossroads

one way you burn
and the other
you just smoke
Oct 6 · 88
wait
mercy party Oct 6
it is like hearing the faint word wait
from an almost city block away
the word wait
and so you do
trying to forget
knowing very well
that word could never be intended
for you

you turn around
to a perfect streetlamp row
you hear that soft word wait
and
"will you drive me home?"

if only i believed in ghosts
mercy party Sep 25
don't tell me that you need me
when you're here to steal my peace
i won't go on forever
for things out of my reach
when i was left to languish
in these abandoned fields
i did a lot of thinking
and i had some time to heal
you stole because you were in love
you fixed this up between us
and i just can't carry on
with the correspondence
it's like i pulled off to the roadside
you were an innocent diner
and i was just a stranger
fresh off a pardon
moment of truth when you saw the car gone
"served you right" you said, i knew all along
at times i thought this could be equitable
but i cannot keep you and keep my soul
mercy party Sep 23
leaving here with nothing
but an empty notebook of ideas
i finally stopped thinking
about how it was

you could never get the news on me
because i'm just too northerly
forever staying off your grid
maybe it's your turn
to wonder what i did

understanding my anonymity
instinctually like a sparrow
that never dare enter the open window

because it just knows
Sep 20 · 278
taken
mercy party Sep 20
place your drink
so the seat appears taken
across from you

the memory of all the things
that we used to do
you always knew
you would lose
Sep 16 · 271
long way to dawn
mercy party Sep 16
no need to explain
it's an old story
the one about the runaway
who couldn't catch all the breaks
in the far away city
then a man comes along
with a few promises
and you wind up like this
forever playing along

it's a long way to dawn
Sep 11 · 148
note
mercy party Sep 11
talk to yourself in tortured narration
as you pace the house
the calender on the wall
is five months behind
the basement television
still on static from last night
and a note on the counter
on hotel stationery...
what would it say?
Sep 6 · 168
in a fog
mercy party Sep 6
i am starting to wonder
if there were some parting words i never heard
things said behind scenes
not for me
but for me
like the lights of a shore once friendly
Sep 4 · 104
Bristol
mercy party Sep 4
i walked the rail link
i walked it dawn to dim
i met a raging wind
i'm never going to see you
or this town again.

you get out to find your life
and it's nothing but learning to stand still
can't ever get beyond the mere dream 
i'll forgot how to write in New York
just so you know not to have hope
all memories of me are just remnants
so spend those nights at least knowing

something happened to me
as I came out the other side
of the Midtown tunnel
it was too quiet or something
i'm not sure I even made it
or maybe the world didn't,
the train only stops here for a minute
it's time you got going

what's there to say?
we know what's going to happen here
so find out somewhere else
i have nothing to say
i would rather sit and listen to this new record I got
maybe i paid a little much for it
Aug 24 · 1.0k
run
mercy party Aug 24
run
you run when you don't feel like you are much worth catching
Aug 22 · 182
hartford stars
mercy party Aug 22
i would have taken that drive to Hartford
i would have hung on your every word
you sent pictures from Manhattan
i really wish you hadn't

nowadays it's all the same to me
i don't need or mind the company
and i broke my voice i guess
trying to talk to you from Memphis
i was hoping you might
talk me home tonight

slept on the roof of my car
out here every night
there is more planes than stars
as each city block is a blinding light to
make me miss you
Aug 21 · 129
shards
mercy party Aug 21
you always walk by so fast
hiding in a hood
i lie to myself when i say
i did everything i could
you don't look so good these days,
hell has nothing on you.

i promised i'd be there
i am shards of glass under your skin
again and again
surfacing the pain
you buried deep away
it's not working anymore
sometimes blankets make it colder than it was

slept out in the car last night
of all the desperate things to spite you
it's not an issue of space,
it's not you it's me i am weak
and i am comfortably asleep
with the heater running

i dont want to use sight again
it is way too bright,
shut every light
dont let the sun creep in my darkened room
im leaving soon enough
just like you
Aug 20 · 109
hold
mercy party Aug 20
i just stumbled in
to blanket my consciousness
before losing it
Aug 16 · 682
blue 72's
mercy party Aug 16
not talking to you was the easiest thing to do
a pack of blue 72's
you lied to me, you said it yourself
wait here and i'll go call for help
practically catatonic
i see you carry a list of names with you everywhere you go
you ran away,
crossed a few states
and the pain still stakes you

you've been through more than i could know
i take a left down this road
i wish i was taking a right
pulling out some old stuff that was scratched down on the back of band flyers, matchbooks and bar napkins
Aug 12 · 527
notice
mercy party Aug 12
weather faded siding like skin
a boarded over door to nothing
dead crickets fill in the shattered window
trees ripped from the ground years ago
by violent winds never tended to
spent dreams resurrecting you
Aug 5 · 343
i see road
mercy party Aug 5
i don't see me
when i look at you
i see road
Jul 31 · 340
silvering
mercy party Jul 31
to **** a recluse spider
where the wall meets ceiling
and the paint is peeling
first it's justified
and then maybe mourned
as if just being around me
was enough to say
you have been warned

never was there even a world within
this sad arithmetic of mine
just never ending nocturnes
dreams and hopeless sight

unable to rejoice like the soldier haunted
my leave orders now long forgotten
I remember once seeing the dawn
as I escaped what others have not
i am no longer necessary to your project
just a ***** bin of keepsakes
a futile effort
a shipwreck

a recluse
where ceiling meets wall
a death
like flakes of mirror silvering fall
mercy party Jul 27
i keep my shadow in check
so everything is alright despite it

starting taking cold military showers
instead of punishing hot
i turn the water off to wash
sixty seconds and back on

it rained over the skylight
i could hear your spirit like a soft knock
like the soothing sound of the string light
being pulled off

at the bottom of the stairs
talking to the boiler
like some sort of confessional
and i thought about dying there
and just shutting off mid dream

maybe that is the only way to **** my number

under my hat,
through my veins
only a ghost has room to rein
my heart until my shadow
is just a stain
Jul 23 · 181
assail
mercy party Jul 23
it only hails long enough to bring the flowers in
Jul 17 · 540
clock receding
mercy party Jul 17
something
that is less understood suddenly
is more understood
Jul 4 · 765
i heard a knell
mercy party Jul 4
true darkness speaks
through the vents
in gaps between
the strike of bells
in my dream
i heard a knell
my time is soon
one can't conceive
how much it is
i have missed you
Jul 1 · 445
at this point
mercy party Jul 1
you
so lonely like a mansion cursed
standing there empty and so proud
silent behind the walls of an unbleached crowd

you're a figure waiting for the midnight train
i tried to help you out
but you couldn't take the pain

so i guess it is time
to say goodbye to the ones
who don't know what they're missing
as you just keep on wishing

there is no way
to make
sorry sound less cheap
Jun 29 · 607
beat
mercy party Jun 29
through your teeth
your curious heart beats
like the sound of leaving feet
Jun 21 · 527
last seen
mercy party Jun 21
remembering what had been my heartbeat
remembering what had been, my heart beat
Jun 19 · 671
husk
mercy party Jun 19
a husk
is all i am
and this hurts too much
to be a hologram
Jun 15 · 404
only in dying
mercy party Jun 15
as roots now rot
my thoughts are caught
the deeper they dig
and bower my heart
like a progressive death of twigs
Jun 12 · 371
aperture
mercy party Jun 12
there is a comfort
in slipping unfated
failing to grip the rail
when there is no way
to get away with just covering
a small tear in your sail
Jun 10 · 943
maybe
mercy party Jun 10
we are sad because of heaven
mercy party Jun 5
crazy and untrue
beautiful things once said by you
your early life was so obscure
i never wanted to be sure

and we
we had a secret history
i can't help but wonder what would be
flash to an evening in the spring

i use to wait in the main square for you
i was changed
not one word spoke from the exchange
i wanted to destroy the world for you
i wanted to destroy the world for you
Jun 3 · 500
down going
mercy party Jun 3
cut down to the earth
confined me to the abyss
death not satisfied
May 30 · 700
no mercy
mercy party May 30
the old captain knows
he's seen every kind of fish there is
and let go
and let go
mercy party May 21
i sit with my head
in my hands
pressing on my skull
on the iron headboard
like jail cell bars
i never noticed
the indentation
before tonight.
mercy party May 15
midway though a late night shift
she stepped away for a cigarette
through a storage closet, there was a hidden door
to a narrow balcony on the 34th floor
it wasn't until her last drag taken
that she had a heavy realization
feeling more than vertigo knees
the door locked behind and she had no key
knocking and knocking she pushed and pulled
all alone on a balcony cold
nobody could hear her crying screams
she was too high to ever be seen
...to be continued
May 10 · 655
in dealing
mercy party May 10
focus
on
the
mechanical
May 8 · 494
sunset limited
mercy party May 8
this buzz is incredible
the moon is full
it is way too cold to not see your breath
i can see the way you smoke you are not impressed
by cheap lines and scenery

you are scared to death
May 3 · 321
The Write
mercy party May 3
lately i have been hearing a lot of talk about death in my head.
the figures in my nightmares act as if i am unseen to them.
what would be the monosyllabic title to my life?
would it even be worth The Write?
Apr 29 · 574
(scene)
mercy party Apr 29
drive-in parking lot. purple dusk.
girl chases blue cloud from puddle jumper plane.
he smokes a cigarette like he's done time.
from his mind
with the scent of the ocean
she dissapates
just the same.
Apr 16 · 387
adieu
mercy party Apr 16
this is it
i now prepare
for my descent
Apr 14 · 381
attenuation
mercy party Apr 14
having what is left of you on tape
as finite life degrades
mercy party Apr 10
particulate matter looks like static as the noontime sun intrusively beams through the skylight.
i am other's heart fragments
like engine parts being soaked in gasoline overnight.
the tub surround is like a sidewalk curb
the sidewalk curb is like a spine
my spine as i stand is like a journal binder in a fireplace.
a fireplace is just a picture frame
and i

i am worse than all that are the same.
Apr 9 · 392
my soul
mercy party Apr 9
the hollow halls
my soul
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