She loves life
. She laughs nice
.. She looks good
... She loves Mom
.... She's known love
..... She'll live long

Sacred airs on the morn, averse to fumes and din
Reach for what helps bring all of sane; it came.

Only one voice calling, far from tossing crumbs
Mercy in tiny increments in the lap of assiduous babes.

Lovely millimeters made the *** a replenished act
If a staid soul needs break the pattern, surely that waltz's not lost.....

Facile was of man's habit, a constant battle to evade
The one looking such of sweetness, rather reeks a tainted rag.

Those silly songs;
so sad but true
With lost feelings
of me and you

I played it on
with the tape's side A
Felt like blossoms of dawn
and flowers of May

I flipped the tape
Found side B's empty
The same thing I get
Every time you look at me

"You'll get over this."
You once confided
That's what our love is;
Too one-sided

I've tried under the bed,
and behing the old chair,
and that space no-one goes
right under the stairs,
i've tried hiding in bed,
and in all the spare rooms,
but there's no hiding out from
the sickening gloom,
when it starts to take hold,
it just swallows me up,
and my confidence leaves me
feeling like a new pup,
and my image distorts like
some twisted old tin,
and i fight and i try not
to let this thing in,
but it's bigger than me,
in so many bad ways,
and what starts out as hours
slowly turns into days,
they all melt into one,
and i barely exist but i
can't let this demon dish
out it's cruel twist, so i medicate
now and it goes for a while,
but i see in the mirror it's
horrid cruel smile,
ain't no hiding from this thing,
whatever it's called, but i'll
fight and i'll run and i'll hide
.......and i'll crawl

(c)eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com 2018

i know there's still bits and pieces of you that aren't quite undead yet
felt almost impressive to mean something
or somebody who can alter your possessiveness, left
the wedding ring and pretending to be old on your dresser
lay out and fade away star-born reflected off morning waves
the highs and lows, most have been so low and you standing high
getting into my phone and claiming to protect me from other people
bringing your guns out for the summer sun again, sabatoging
all my connections to the outside world, i still wonder why
you bother teasing me and thinking this is more than a charade
but there's still got to be something inside you that still cares

Preserve the past in me
Like a mummy I’ll bring my riches
to another world


My sabatoge is your secret weapon.

-Sindi Kafazi