Energy of a bullet,but lightness of a depressed elephant,

Energy of a bullet,but lightness of a depressed elephant
Which keeps on devouring my heart every second every minute every hour and my heart stops for a minute then tears flow like the Nile river
I try stopping the tears but stopping keeps on stopping me from moving on
The thought of his smile inspires death the same way a rabbit inspires a dog
I try not to think but my thinking capacity keeps on retaliating
The luminous kiss which provokes and evolves my hormones






Thunder strikes moments captured but easily deleted
Her eyes shining like diamonds glowing under the sun
Promises being made
Every minute we in  bed but broken in a split of a second after the luminous kisses
Her body is like my favourite morning coffee which I wish she hadn't poured so much milk
Because now it's too creamy to resemble my dark brown eyes
And every time I wrote,every time I opened my eyes
I was cutting out parts of myself simply to hand them over to her
When she told me she loves me,her mouth would curl up at the edges



I didn't fall in love with you
I walked into love with you,with my eyes wide open
Choosing to take every step along the way
I do believe in fate and destiny,but I also believe we are only fated to do things that we'd choose
And i'd choose you
In a hundred lifetimes
In a hundred worlds
In any version of reality
I'd find you and choose you
Only to become my reincarnation.

Everytime I leave
I come back stronger
Stronger than my struggles
Stronger than my rejections.

Huguette

Last time when we had a conversation,I reminded you how afraid I was of falling in love
Fear of having emotional attachment
But here I am,forcing myself to sleep
Because the thought of you brings memories of how I feel in love when I was 16
I stay up late reading our text messages,hoping that maybe one day the fear of falling in love
Will turn into you catching me with your hands wide open and reminding me
How love is safe
How warm it can be and even nurture your soul

But here I am again reminding myself how love can be brutal and leave me with wounds that can never heal
Wounds that will always tell a story of how I fell in love without any medical prescription
And here I am again,trying to love again
But you can't heal and love at the same time
It's like promising someone the whole world,that you don't even fit in.

Nothing scares me the most,like my death day
The fact that it's unknown
Makes me wonder if I'm qualified to go to Heaven
I know the requirements
But out of  my 7300 days of being alive,I would be lying to myself if I say I've met the requirements
I pray that God offers me a supplementary examination and have mercy on me
To get my pass through the gates of Heaven
Because surely the repercussion of my actions got the Angel of death doubting my existence