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Preeti Karnwal May 2019
You are a garden
beauty lies deep
but it lies too
you seem beautiful when i see you
you are beautiful in that fragrance
but,
is this fragrance really yours,
is it the real you?
or is it something
you hide your scent in.
Beauty withers with a little touch
and so do lies.....
to be continued.....
Preeti Karnwal Aug 2019
I want to sleep
For a longer while
A bit longer than it usually is
But shorter than death
Preeti Karnwal Nov 2018
Ask me what I'm going through
Ask me if you dare to
Ask me if I'm worth everything you gave me
Ask me if i felt hurt
If your words ever felt like cuts
to my heart that's been enough wounded
Ask me what i wanna do
Ask me what i wish to
Ask me better ask me in a hurry
Coz' I'm going back to myself
I wonder if i ever shall
forget you and your words the way you forgot me.......
Preeti Karnwal Dec 2018
I feel captivated in this dark room
and my aching heart feels suffocated
the pain in my eyes starts to water up and my soul bleeds to its death
It's cruel, it's bad, it's evil, it's cold
this world of enlightened shadows
The voices here are not heard by my ears but they echo in my head
there's no light, no hope, no beginning, no end
to this captivated life which yearns for it's grave
I see the unfaked faces behind the perfect disguise
I can see all of it
because that truth is somehow hidden between the lines
Preeti Karnwal Mar 2019
The curtain in the corner

The pattern on the curtain

The texture of the pattern

It says a lot about my pains.
Preeti Karnwal Feb 2019
did it hurt
when i put you through my weapons
they sure weren't so edged, as i remember
did it hurt
when i didn't hear your reasons
when my pain flew out in fury, i don't regret it though
did it hurt
honestly, my feelings were all burnt in the flames of your deeds
i couldn't care less now, even if you are greatly resentful
Preeti Karnwal Jan 2019
I'm different
Whatever I do,
Whatever I say,
Whatever I think,
It's different.
I'm not the sun, I'm not the moon,
I'm not the reflection in the lake.
I'm not the stem, I'm not the root,
I'm not the flower it bores with fate.
I'm different from the sky,
I'm different from the ground,
I'm different from the silence and
I'm different from the loud.
I'm different
In my works,
In my words,
In my actions,
It's all different.
Preeti Karnwal Dec 2019
they say it all feels like a dream
i can't connect to it
i just know what feels real and what feels like a dream.
when i'm dreaming,
even the most beautiful dream,
I know it's not real.
when it happens to me
something good
or bad,
I have a thought in mind
this is what reality feels like.
Preeti Karnwal Nov 2018
Is there a need to dream?
When you know that your path has already been decided
Is there a need to dream?
When you know that the end is not your happiness.
Is there a need to dream?
When all you can do is run from the reality.
Is there a need to dream?
When you can't listen to your heart.
Is there a need to dream?
When you know all it can ever be is just a dream of the you who has no understanding of this cruel world.
But there is a need to dream
To keep the fire of hope burning inside all the people like you.
And there is a need to dream
to give dreams to yourself and to the people like you.
Preeti Karnwal Feb 2019
I can't fake another smile
it's hard to put my lips
in that position
they're stretched and
my wrinkles are hidden
not for sympathy,
not for attention
but i just can't fake another smile.
Preeti Karnwal Jun 2019
tomorrow, I don't wanna forget today
today's happiness, today's misery
today's essence, today's feelings
today' how i feel i wanna keep it to tomorrow
and remember that it was yesterday that i felt this happiness and sorrow
I wanna remember even if i have new feelings tomorrow
even if i have new happiness, even if i have new sorrow
Preeti Karnwal Jan 2019
I'm happy today
when i close my eyes
I'm surrounded by darkness
but i'm happy despite that

I'm happy today
when i touch my skin
I can feel the presence of scars
but i'm happy that they aren't hidden

I'm happy today
I can look up at the weeping skies
but i can find happiness in the raindrops
as they fall down through my hair

I'm happy today
as i look down on the Earth
there are some unturned stones beneath my feet
but i'm paused for this moment

I'm happy today
as I think about the star that i cherish
it seems far away
but i'm happy that i can see it and i'll reach there one day

I'm happy today
Even if it gets painful
I'll be happy like I'm happy today
I'm happy that I'm happy again
Preeti Karnwal Jul 2019
I can't give up hating you
because,
that's the only way i am connected to you
hate is an emotion too....
Preeti Karnwal Feb 2019
I was so small and he was so big.
As he ran his hand through my hair
it was unfamiliar, like the hand of a devil

then he smiled at me,
the most cruel smile of his
it was feeble, though,
but I heard it

As he came a little closer and
put his hand out from where they were supposed to be
inside me, there was an insecurity

Insecurity that I can't explain
I was a flower that had bloomed beautifully until that day
within his touch, I withered,
and my petals faded away

I could cry so I did, I could scream so I did, but
I couldn't protect myself
coz' he was so big and I was so small and crying didn't help

I've seen so many people with that cruel smile
but he was a different person
as I had grown a little, he left me with so much to bear.
Preeti Karnwal Feb 2019
I don't understand
Why pain is hard to understand
I want to feel your pain
And I know that I can

I look into your eyes
And it seems like a starry night
With tears so deep as an ocean and
That shine so calming as moonlight

I can hear the sound of your pain
And see it flowing inside you
Even though your lips don't utter anything
It's heart wrenching but this pain is the truth
Preeti Karnwal Feb 2019
If I ask the silence to talk to me
Would it still be with me

If I ask my shadow to stay in light
Would it still stick by my side

If I ask the tears to be happy
To cry, would it still be that easy
Preeti Karnwal Mar 2019
And I realized
even non-living things
have their shadows
Preeti Karnwal Feb 2019
I thought I was sad
because of your deeds
I cried,
which made it obvious to me
But fortunately,
those tears were my rage
Flowing out through the eyes
to keep my heart sane
Preeti Karnwal Apr 2019
I'm so lonely
a star shining
like a tear in an eye
surrounded by many if you see
from where you are
but they are
from where i see
million light years away
i can't even dream
in fear of falling
and i really feel like
I'm so lonely
It's so hard to keep one busy
Even though there's lot to do
I get it done
                     One by one
But there's still time left
Until nighttime comes
And I ignore the fact that I'm still incomplete
Preeti Karnwal Mar 2019
I don't know why i thought we had a chance
when we were already friends
but the truth is i don't wanna blame myself
but still the worst part of everything is that it ends
i miss you at nights i miss those moments
that i had maybe only with you
and even if i don't wanna blame myself
i still think about the worst part of you and me, it ends
Preeti Karnwal Jan 2019
Days like this
I want to relieve the pain
I want to let it all out
in this world of shame
It's not water, It's no tears
it's just the pain I possess
I didn't call you out
to ask me why i have been crying
because i'm not
It's just the fear that i own
I'm not crying for help
So don't be mistaken
I'm just weeping
I'm gonna get up on my own
I just needed to rest
I don't need your help after the betrayal
and it's not a cry........
Preeti Karnwal Nov 2018
It's not my fault that I can't see the boundaries
It's not my fault that I don't need these countries
It's not my fault that I can see beyond the barriers
It's not my fault that I have trust and faith in the savior
It's not my fault that I can live without praying
It's not my fault that I can fight without slaying
It's not my fault that I can leave my heart open
It's not my fault that I can trust without being broken
It's not my fault that I know I make mistakes
It's not my fault that I learn from all that I make
It's not my fault that I can hate till the depths of my heart
It's not my fault that I can love enough to unite two souls apart
It's not my fault that I can think so maturely
It's not my fault that I can't let the child die inside me
It's not my fault that I can celebrate without crackers
It's not my fault that I know I will stay sober
It's not my fault that I believe in unity
It's not my fault that I can dare to change my destiny
It's not my fault that all I need is the world and its people
It's not my fault that I can hear the screams which seem feeble
It's not my fault that I'm a person so flawed
If I can survive in this world then I'm the mistake of my god.
Preeti Karnwal Mar 2019
today,
I can't write happiness
coz' there's none inside me
there's only pain
left for my soul to feel......
Preeti Karnwal Mar 2019
the flames are all in
and the woods are ablaze
the windows disappear
in the greyish black haze

the fire dictates the air
and the fear sweeps in
life appears to be dead
because of the searing sins

the water's of no help
it'll all be ashes quick
i'll embrace the fiery pain but
the house is on fire, i'll let 'em know, won't hold it in
Preeti Karnwal Nov 2018
Like us, It's also not a curse, girls!!
You may think that you have to bear the pain and the guys enjoy their lives
well! It's you who have got the power to bear life.
I die a little when my mother says,"don't go near the temple, you're impure these days".
well, I say that i'm the purest during these five days.
I die a little more when she says that it is a curse given to the women by the lord
I say it's a boon just so we can give birth I don't think this cruel can be my god!!!
Like us, It's also not a curse, girls....
just stay strong and believe my words.
Preeti Karnwal Jul 2019
'M lil' cloud
drifting away as you see
stuck between
ground n sky
i keep my distance
free to weep
weep to give bliss
bliss to you
you who needed
to hide your tears
Preeti Karnwal May 2019
skies are so lonely
no one touches those heights
no one finds its end
stays alone with loneliness

even clouds lay beneath
never felt the rainy tears
even tress hold the Earth
never felt its human fears

Sun too stays so far
it only seems to have night and day
moon too, just like the stars
keeps million miles away

glaring at the Earth
it has all its people
to be with it one way or another
no one to be with those lonely skies
I keep relating my loneliness to love
To think that love makes me lonely
I guess... it becomes easier to sleep

To be lonely is to wait for someone
Someone...I don't know
Someone I can talk some thoughts to
which haunt me when I'm alone
Love does make people lonely
But are u in love everytime you're lonely?
Preeti Karnwal Jan 2019
I have been searching for happiness
in my immature essence
I have been searching for light
in my darkened shadows
I barely found any of myself in those wasted tears
I wanted to go high
Even when I knew i was afraid of heights
that distance kept my head spinning
and my soul shivering
I kept wondering what the truth was
was it right or was it wrong
I am left with memories I could laugh with
I am left with pieces of my past
Now i want to be with me
and that happiness which is inside me
Preeti Karnwal Mar 2019
The more I try to act childish
the more I grow,
I grow every second
but still, maturity to me
is like that moon
that the tides can never reach
Preeti Karnwal Sep 2019
Strings of my heart
Set a melody I had ignored
But it keeps ringing on in my head
It will be a beautiful song

Notes have been playing hide and seek
But align when you're near
Keys and chords, scales and notes, I don't know em
I'm getting bit by bit the harmony of you presence
Saranghae...
Preeti Karnwal Mar 2019
you don't deserve
my hate
coz' then u'll live in my heart
Preeti Karnwal Dec 2018
Within all the minutes I've hated you,
there were questions inside my mind
"why did you do that to me?"
"was it really you or was it a conspiracy?"
"were you worth my hate, why didn't you speak a word,
when i was screaming at you and when i was struggling in my own world?"
I'm sorry I waited,
I'm sorry I'm waiting,
I'm sorry I would wait,
For you to answer my questions.
I feel like crying every time i see you becoz'.....
I see those answers i couldn't hear
Preeti Karnwal Mar 2019
Her eyes were down
Sinking to the ground
Searching for the love which
Once, in you, she had found
Her hair untied
Had no reason to align
Them right for somebody
She appears red and wild
Her ears searching that voice
To listen to you, wasn't her choice
It was an addiction of her mind
Something her heart couldn't avoid
Preeti Karnwal Jan 2019
Not long ago, I wrote a letter to myself
I put in it all the emotions I held

I didn't write about the world that was cruel
Not about the people who seemed dual

I didn't write about the dreams I have
Also.... not about the problems I dealt

But the question is now, what did I say?
It was really something that made my day.

I wrote that I was happy after all that had happened
I wasn't sad, not that I was gonna be, I was somehow better.

I learned to smile
with my eyes
and with my heart
It is not a happy ending, It is a happy start.
I don't match your abilities
I keep fading away

It's hard to keep going
It's hard to say how I feel

I keep disappearing
from the air u breathe

I've gone too far
avoiding sympathies

I've kept pretending to be strong
that made me more weak
Preeti Karnwal Feb 2019
It's perfect coz' it's you
It's original when it's you
Your scent is beautiful
though it can't be seen
I can see the world through your eyes
It is cruel it is rude
It can't be loved neither does it love
It's sad that it made you believe
made you change
made you envy
of something that is normal
and natural.
Couldn't stand the break
Preeti Karnwal Apr 2019
I'm so sensitive,
even songs make me feel
I get sad at a sorrowful melody
and dance to a lovely beat

I'm so sensitive,
even nature gets my heart sad
with the crying blues' rainy tears
I'll be happy when on me maple leaves shed

I'm so sensitive,
even poems change my mood,
I don't know why
It's so sorrowful reading about hamlock and crow
and so powerful reading about fire and ice
Preeti Karnwal Dec 2019
I listen to this song
until I get sick and tired of it,
I will listen to it again
to get myself addicted.
Preeti Karnwal Mar 2019
Maybe I can't see your pain
I can't see your happiness
I can't see that u're in vain
maybe my eyes are covered in haze
i can't see what you want me to
but let me hear
let me listen to your pain
your happiness or your guilt
Sing it to me
maybe that's the only way i can understand
let your voice flow into my heart
and not leave regrets
maybe then i can understand
let the melody describe yourself
let the words rest in my brain
maybe then i can understand
so Sing to me your pain
Preeti Karnwal Mar 2019
thoughts play hide and seek with conclusions in my mind
it's being sleepless
pillow wet with little drops falling off my eyes
it's being sleepless
a silence so that my sister doesn't wake up but screaming inside
it's being sleepless
Preeti Karnwal Jan 2019
you are the pleasure
and I am addicted
to your unrealistic presence
and so I'm not asleep

it's your melody
in the deep silence of night
that i get dragged to
but i can't find you

it's like a garden i wander in
you're like a scent i can't recognize
there are flowers I've seen before
but i can only feel you here

you're far away, it feels
but it feels you're near
it's a pain that i will never find you
but it's a pleasure that you're in my heart.
Preeti Karnwal Aug 2019
i don't want to turn back and
erase all the thorns we planted
I want to get to the part when
I would be ready
to plant some roses
Preeti Karnwal Jan 2019
When I'm the happiest
Or the saddest
Something is missing
In my emotions

When I see the crying skies
It's beautiful and perfect
But I feel,
Something is missing.

When I see the reflection of moon
In the lake that I stopped by
My heart knows
Something is missing

Not that I'm never satisfied
Not that I'm always insecure
It's just that somehow
Inside me
Something is missing
You are missing!
Preeti Karnwal Apr 2019
Sorrow filled in happiness
like how u're filled in me
miles away this distance our mistakes
but so close it may seem
keep pretending to be in another universe
honestly, we're still stuck to where the end used to be
Preeti Karnwal Nov 2018
It's winter all around,
and my heart is frozen.
Little did I realize that it was just August or September.
I couldn't reach a hand of warmth,
Coz' my thoughts were so cold
and with a gloomy frost, on my hopeful soul.

I tried to bear your cold words,
I should've protected my heart.
I wish I could, end this endless winter between us.
For every moment that is passing by
feels like a year in this cruel winter.
What more hurts is that i can't find you anywhere near.

When I see these snowflakes
I miss you like you were my last happiness.
But no season lasts forever so I will wait for the Spring day to come.
When Flowers bloom to a new life
and my heart soars up to the cloud nine.
but won't you wait for me there until the Spring Day comes.
Inspired by BTS' Spring Day... LOVE
Preeti Karnwal Apr 2019
there are still some sights
that scare me to death
I shiver
until they go away
Sometimes, it's easy to say
I'm brave
but so hard to admit that
I'm scared
still i'm so glad that i can
Preeti Karnwal Jun 2019
He knows too much about me
I don't know how....
he was only a stranger
he knew my wounds,
and he made 'em scars
Is it that I'm grateful?
he was there, with me,
all this while
but I'm afraid, since we met
he looks at me, so sweet his scent
when he's soft, I'm okay
he pulls me closer, I'm afraid....
Preeti Karnwal Jun 2019
He said,"aren't you afraid of me?"
I said,"I am,
I'm afraid of you,since we met."
he said,"don't show me your weak sides,
I might........"
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