An empty sac of
Genetic slush
That turned to mush
Inside of you

Never was
Never became
Why?
Because

Conceived
Without a name

A blip
You gave the slip

After I implanted
You flushed me out
No second chances

You mourn me -
In your sleep
In your dreams

I mourn me too
What I could have been
If I Grew

You keep searching
for answers

reaching out
holding back

staying in
looking forward

to something you don’t even know
or not sure

where do we go from here
what’s next

what do we leave behind
will we know the answers

when we cross over
to the other side

and if we do
will we tell

Don’t empty your cup
into mine

Mine is overflowing

We’ve both got too much
spilling over

the sides

Time to decide

if your thumb pulls out
a juicy one

if your name is jack

if your beans
grow a stalk up to
Heaven’s ceiling

if it lands you
the Golden Egg

well now
you saved the day!

used to be a peaceful reverie
that washed over us, consumed in trust

they’ve become a holding cell
for the numb, a paralysis of tongue

even worse a frightful fit
of bitter unhappiness

I don’t have great diction
and one too many affliction

I carry my pain as a trophy
It molds me; but doesn’t own me

I turn it out, give it rhythm
I lend it to all

I hope in time
it reads well

and quells the pain
of someone else suffering the same

and holds them
arms from the grave
enfold them

so that these passages in time
will be yours -
no longer mine

You got worn down by need.
It wasn’t I who changed.
How many times did I bleed?
For you to open the wound even more.
How many times did I lay face down?
For you to pick at the sore.

There’s nothing left but bits.
On top of my chest
an elephant sits.

And he’s crushed all my innards;
pulled all my triggers.

Now I recoil
at the slightest touch
from someone else.

The only crutch I have
is my mouth.