There is a door I want to open...
Instead we've open the window
I told you I dnt like to start things I cant finish
The breeze through this window feels amazing
It isnt wide open but just a little crack,
Letting me feel things I havent felt in a while
Summer just started and the chills on my skin makes my hair stand
I sit and stare at this window,
Thinking if I should open it more
Or just open the door.

I dont want to bother you
But I cant stop thinking about you.

It's been four years and yet you still linger in the back of my head like a plague.
Taunting me to come back.
I've loved and lost but yet it's you.

Hiding myself is my greatest strength and my greatest weakness.

Not physically, more of a spiritual, ,emotional
Constantly wondering which feeling/thoughts is correct
Decisiveness has become my first name
Nothing in the world seems right
What do i do?

Escape
Escape
I'm always his escape
Somewhere where he finds peace and solace
Somewhere where he runs from his problems
But I've learned that
Vacations aren't forever
Eventually, you must go home

You've shared your body with others
Made false promises & empty wishes
I shouldn't look at you
She still wants you
Plotting and planning ways to crawl under silk sheets
With your muscular body lying on top
I shouldn't wish to see you
She still thinks about you
Wanting to know if you still want her
You're off limits
You can't be mine
But my mind still wonders about you
There are too many what-ifs
Constantly running through my mind like waves
I can only offer friendship
We are forbidden from each other
Everyone wants us apart
But the distance is drawing me to you
My guilty pleasure is that I want you
When your eyes run over my body
It excites something in me
The only solace is that you're away
The distance between our homes
Is my saving grace
Stopping me from doing anything reckless
'I cant you touch,' I tell myself
'You're not mine,' I remind myself
She still wants you
Plotting and planning ways to  crawl under your silk sheets
You aren't mine
So I must say goodbye.