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Aug 29 · 29
Untitled
Helina Aug 29
You know it's funny how we still judge,
we know nobody chose for their scars.
Nobody wanted a mark.
Nobody gets a say in how they're made to look like,
but we still have this imprint in our head,
That we have to meet the requirements of what meets the eyes.
Society isn't even wise,
Maybe
Just maybe,
There might be a little hope for the new generation
maybe we will stop to criticize.
Aug 29 · 28
Untitled
Helina Aug 29
I'm done done with this world,
I wish I could go back to the days with bright skies
The sun rising from the east,
No gray clouds, just days full of opportunities
I wish i could go back to when there was no rain,
Rewind the time train back to when I was five.
Go back home to Grandma the only one that didn't give me pain.
The only one who told me i could get somewhere.
The only one who listened when i had something to say.
The only one that looked after me, when they left me to chase after money.

Today is such a bore,
Rainy, gray clouds surrounding my door.
Can't go outside, without the thunder hitting me straight on.
Always waiting for me to come out, but no thank you,
I rather stay here dreaming about what i could be doing.
May 21 · 53
Wonder
Helina May 21
I wonder if you miss me holding your hands,
Wonder if you kept the letters I wrote for when we were apart.
Do I still cross your mind?
Does your heart race when you see me walking down?
Or were all the memories gone the day I said goodbye.
Even though I let you go for the good,
Every little thing still brings you up on my mind.
May 21 · 31
Nothing else
Helina May 21
I fell head over heals,
when you only replied sometimes
I would ask what you want,
but i'm scared you'll never come back
Even just the attention you are giving now
is enough for me to come running back,
After a whole day of me telling i'm everyone I was done with your ***
There's nothing else that makes me happier than when I see your name pop up
Feb 22 · 124
Then
Helina Feb 22
I didn't know myself then,
I believed every little word that came out your mouth,
You had me ******* in your web of lies
Now I look back and laugh,
To all the night you made me cry
I made a fool of myself,
Waiting for your reply
When I should've really said goodbye,
From the first day I found out you lied
Looked straight into my eyes,
And you promised I was the only one
How you expect me to say "Hi"
Still be cool and talk
Pretend like nothing ever happened between us
And act like everything's alright
Dec 2018 · 163
happiness
Helina Dec 2018
You're the only person that gives me happiness,
but also the one that can take it in an instant
Nov 2018 · 2.0k
Perfection
Helina Nov 2018
Love every inch
Love ever curve and scar
Love the body that carries your soul
The soul that thinks there should be a goal,
a goal to be perfect
Because the World has told it so

They say you're too skinny
Then they tell you you're fat
Your mind wants to blow
What have we done to our world though?
Why want us to suffer mentally?
living up to societies expectations
Fake photos, and photoshopped *******
Why make us all follow their fake idea of perfection?

I am more than just what meets the eyes,
No one else has my skin, my body, my hair, my mind and me all together
I'm unique as I am
I will ignore their definitions of "beautiful",
Not going to hide under pounds of makeup,
Not going to hate myself for not looking more like them,
and not going to hide from the world
I WILL BE BOLD AND GO,
Let them all see who i want to BE, instead of the mask they wanted to see
The mask covering up the real ME
I will stand up straight,
I will keep my head up high,
For me and all of society
Praying one day, this will all be over with
That we will stop defining "beauty"
I will fight for our right,
Our right to live as how we are made
No more being afraid
Nov 2018 · 162
Scared To Love
Helina Nov 2018
I'm empty
Not even a little sympathy  
Because they all hurt me and left
I'm scared to love again
I've already been broke enough
Shattered into pieces
And now, I'm scared again
Because I'm not sure if you're the one
The one to put the broken parts back together
I'm just scared to love again

Scared to give my broke heart
I want to tell you I love you,
every single day,
not only for your looks,
but for who you are instead
Nov 2018 · 396
Mixed signals
Helina Nov 2018
Giving me mixed signals
You keep getting in my head, and not getting out
Nov 2018 · 460
Loved
Helina Nov 2018
It's because of you somebody's day is made
Your one smile could mean more than the Worlds' 7 billion
You're loved and cared for,
Even if you don't see it
Wipe those tears away
I'll always be here
Oct 2018 · 5.4k
XXXTentacion
Helina Oct 2018
You've been gone for four months, but it still feels like a dream
I know we weren't related
But you were like the brother, that was there to give me hope with the master pieces you created

I still can't believe it, that you're really gone forever
You'll never leave my playlist
Because you're the reason why I still exist
X, your words will always be in my soul
I'll praise you everyday
And scream your songs till my lungs give out
But there's still something I can't get out of my head
While you were still with us,
I wish I thanked you
For the gift you gave us all
May your legendary name be praised, and be known forever
XXXTentacion
I connected through his music. He gave me so much hope, and i was crushed the day i found out he was gone. It still doesn't seem real to me that i'll never get to see his eyes. It has been 4 months, but still feels like yesterday. I remember him everyday, and always will. R.I.P❤️☹️
Sep 2018 · 432
Don't Leave
Helina Sep 2018
"Please don't leave", I tell you everyday
I know how much suffering you go through
And that you can hide the pain with one smile,
So people get a whole different view
I can look into your eyes, and see the tears behind
I know I always tell you I'm here if you want to talk,
But I just don't know how to get the words out your mouth
You hide behind that smile mask you wear
Going through everyday like you're fine
Please let me help you
Please let me be there, and put a real smile
Instead of just acting like you're well
I don't know any of you, but talk to me if you need to. Each and every one of you are beautiful, and deserve the world❤️.
Sep 2018 · 192
You're Nothing
Helina Sep 2018
You’re Nothing.
No one notices that you’ve been a little bit off,
until you hit rock bottom,
until they see physical scars.
Putting on your smile mask everyday,
you’ve been so hurt you don’t want to play.
Everything in your eyes turns gray.
You think there’s no-one to catch you when you fall,
nobody to be by your side when you go.
You fall in a big hole,
you’re stuck there until you figure your way out.

You go to school,
laugh like everything’s alright.
They know nothing,
just keep fighting.
All by yourself, until you find the light.
Voices in your head telling you you’re not good enough.
You tell yourself, “Oh it’s just a bad day”, and try to be tough.

You‘ve finally made it home.
Nobody watching you.
You hide in your room thinking to yourself,
every thought that comes brings you guilt,
and you can’t go back in time, so you just cry.
Cry your eyes out the whole night.
Questioning your existence,
trying to get a stronger resistance,
with no assistance.

Anxiety comes and tells you you’re ****, fat, and stupid.
You’re a disappointment to your parents, You let everyone down.
You’re worth nothing, you matter zero to anyone.
You hate yourself, you hate your body,
and that’s why you cut it all over so.

They ask you how you’re doing, you answer with just “fine.”
But You know nothing’s going right.
You don’t want to keep going,
because you’re hiding so many thoughts,
But, you can't just let it all out,
Because you don't know how the world around you would respond.
You want to end all of this now,
but somehow, the ones that say they can help you,
they expect you to make and keep a vow
A vow not to see another blood drip
Oh God,
What a great idea,
why didn't you think of that?
Yeah just don't cut anymore,
It's sooo easy,
just keep your hands tied.
But in all honesty,
you keep it only in the names of the ones you love.
So they don't blame your hurt back on you
What was happiness like?
You don’t remember, because you haven’t felt that in months
They say “be yourself”
But you don’t even know you, who are you?
you’ve been lost

— The End —