I let go
Of the joy that hurt me

I let go
Of the  joy that broke me

I let go
But I’m still broken

I let go
To be me again

I let go
But I have gone

Oh how time passes
Yet nothing appears to have changed
Yet maybe it has
And I am deranged

You’re
in my head
Still

You
never left
though

Yet
you are never
here

I
Begin to see
Clearly

Yet
Still I
Seek

Never have I wanted someone so much
Never have I felt so alone
This is all I know right now
And it’s everything I don’t want to feel

You take away the pain
Of every hurt I feel
Consuming my mind
Looking to heal

The outlook is blind
Future dark
Present does not exist
Makes me tired

I try yes I do
To right the wrongs
But always reminded
That I can’t compete

You, you are elevated
I look up and see
Yet here below
I admit defeat

I'd rather give you
real ones
and real kisses
and real love

We could make it real
one day

So why bother wading through diluted water
to only half wet your feet
when all you want is to be
submerged

Love

         Loss

               Life

                      Learning...

                        ­              still learning