today,
i wore it again
and people complimented me
they say red is my color
and it suits me.

today,
it's too thick and dark
did i overapply
no, it's the right amount
just enough
to make them think
i'm fine.

today,
i look at myself
in the mirror,
and they're right
red shines on me,
so i applied
another layer,
and another
until my lips felt too thick,
but my eyes still see
the scars beneath it.

I’ve loved you in ways that I have never been loved
I loved you for reasons that you will never know
I’ve loved you for longer than you’ve known and for far longer than you’ve deserved
It’s my fault for loving you too much
I knew you weren’t capable of accepting what I had to give
But you didn’t have to make me feel stupid
I can’t count the times you’ve brought tears to my eyes or have made me cry
You’ve hurt my feelings so many times and I just want to know why
If I could go back in time I’d try to be perfect for you just so you didn't make me feel so stupid
I gave you so many chances to change and you just made me look stupid
And now I have tears in my eyes and you’ve made me cry
I don't know why you had to make me look so stupid

1680

Sometimes with the Heart
Seldom with the Soul
Scarcer once with the Might
Few—love at all.

The marks and bruises on my body
daddy says don't show
His voice in my head
screaming  "don't tell"
Daddy says it's okay to be a *****
He says it's okay to earn what you eat
But then why do I feel filthy everynight after he is done?
Why can't I wash the filth away?
Is daddy doing something wrong
or is it just me?
Forget me
iam just being paranoid
Daddy is never wrong.