If we were 10.

through
my child's
eye,

thoughts
of you
skip across
my mind,

like pebble
thoughts
thrown
on a river.

on a
summer's
day,

while
children play.

innocence
parading
homemade
kites a
bending,

to the
shears
of the wind
at Tempest
heights.

back pockets
emptied,

to a new
friend
offered

all that
I worldly
possess,

the ******* jack
compass,
the slinky,  
and the  
cat's eye
marble
blue.

I give
to you

and
nothing
less.

It's a  perfect day,

and the

salt air

kisses your

cheeks,



and he

strokes back

your hair

with the hands

you trust

and perhaps

even love.



seagulls

circling and

it's not even

a thought

in your

head that

they might all

of gathered

here to

circle you.



as the

day retires on



Oddly he seems

out of sorts

withdrawn

secretive

in thoughts.



Then he

lines up

his sights

and rushes into

the moment.



and  his words

stand to

attention

one after

The other,



ready for the

command

to attack,



to pillage

their mark.

to leave

no survivors.

not even



You!  



right between

the eyes. He says



" I have slept with someone else"



a ******* intimacy.



and the

seagulls begin

to fury.



love is

now a chill

in your

bones



a faceless

memory bleeding

out upon

the dock.



and  your lungs

gasp for air,



and fumble

with the

basic process

of oxygen

and hydrogen

inside your

heart.



or what is

left of it.



and suddenly

your realize



your naked

ashamed

and a fool.



and he

has left you

here for

seagulls prey,



caring less

running mad.



on this  

less than



perfect day.

All in
broken
*******
pieces,
that no
longer
nourish you,


last moments
last touch,
smell of
passion still
on your
breath,
heartbeats
unbridled
still submerged
just beneath
your skin.


your favorite

drink

half full

now resting
like a

tired foreign
legion soldier

standing guard
on someone else's
bedroom window.

.
and you try

to sleep
save for
the colliding
of stars over
your angel
head.


and the faint
sound of
footsteps
disappearing
down your
front porch

walk. and
what is
to become
of the crumbs
of you
that are left,


the oblivion
of time
that is
here the
silence of
your wounds
that bleed

out in the
night unanswered.

First love
has cut
down
the dreams
in my
eyes.

pillars
of faith
shaken.

hole
in the
very
fabric
of my
existence.

now I
am more
like them
than me.

don't ask

don't care
don't tell.

praying
and promising
to loves
false Gods.

nowhere
now becomes
a destination.

with my
whole life
left before
me to find it.

**** it!
at fifteen
years old,

Janet Hawley
broke my
heart....

In thought

of you

here,

Heart
displaced.

shadow
smiles,

hour glass
moments,

fleeing
from across
your face.

no one
listening
to stalled
heart beats.

your thoughts
jumping
from one
moon
to the next.

holding
back
time.

upsetting
the gentle
balance
of the
universe.

because your
not really
there.

your here
with me.

as the tide
wipes the beach
clean of false
impression.

so have you
allowed me
and my

heart
to breathe

again.

The Cinderella
story was
never
about
you.

you are
so much
more.
from beginning
to end.

with your
gypsy
point
of view.

that can
take
a man
down
with a
single
look.

make
him
beg
into the

night,

that you
will you
never
let him up
for air
again.

legs
squeezed
tight,

you heart
bleeding
out into
the night.

from so
long
ago
when
you lost
a broken
heart
to love.

and you
haven't
ever
found it

but your
nails
are black
with the
Indiana
mud,

as you
dig
and claw
and look
in all
of the
places,

that you
might
of seen
it last.

but still
the slipper
doesn't
fit,

the pumpkin
doesn't
come.

and the
mice sit
in the
corner
eat their
cheese
and look at
you
and laugh.

cause they
know it

too.

the Cinderella
principle
never really

applied

to you...

Empty out

my heart,

love's over

time to

go home.


retreat to the

silence of the

empty night

that is no longer

filled with you.


pull out a

sling shot

from my back

pocket and shoot

out the light

of the moon,


that every night

I would  see

reflected

in your eyes.


don't know

how I will ever

get over that.


pirate  dancer,

highway stagecoach

robber.


right before

my eyes

my life pages

burning,


and I can't stop

them revealing

in their fire's light,


the plain simple

truth, over

and over

again.


you don't

love me

anymore.


and the

lonely consequence

of that is

I am going

to miss you,

with this

hole in

my heart


for the rest

of my life.

.