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lee Nov 2022
And if I ever do put an end to it all, just know, I tried.
I stuck around and tried to make it through.
I gave it many “one last chances,” and it got too much to bare.
Just know that it wasn’t always easy, but I made it thus far.

Don’t assume that the last challenge I faced, was the reason.
It took many nights of blades in my hands and blood on the floor, not to end it all.
And if I ended it now, just know that I couldn’t take anymore.

I don’t want tears shed, it’s better for me.
It wasn’t a selfish act, it was for my own happiness.
Why force me to live a life I’m suffering in and losing my mind?
Just to keep happy, the few I leave behind?

So, if one day I’m brave enough to put this to an end, just know that I have no more for hurt. Know that I’d rather be gone, than to have gone insane.
lee Feb 2022
Sometimes I feel like I have so much to say, yet the words doesn't seem to know how to present itself.
A book and a pen, or a blank screen and a keyboard and the fingers seem to know exactly what to say.

A feeling I often don't know how to describe. My fingers do the talking and say, "She feels down, most of the time. She is drained."
"Some days are better than others, because some days the distractions are plenty, every other day is hard."

I want to break something, I want to scream.

When someone asks me, "What's wrong?" I haven't the slightest clue on what to say, because I don't know which issue is bothering me on that specific day.

There are so many things I hold inside a box, tucked away deep in my thoughts. I try not to open that box, but the box is so full that often the memories slip through.

I pray, I release all this negativity and set me free from this pain.
lee Jul 2021
For mine you were, and yours was I,
for the feelings hidden, that will never fade.

For the distance traveled, and moments shared,
for the secrets, the lips would kiss away.

For Romeo loved Juliet.

But feelings changed, and life must go on,
like Shakespeare said, Romeo went first.

So, just like Romeo and Juliet, however different,
for Romeo feels peace, while Juliet mourns.

It shouldn't have, but alas, it had,
and it left our poor Capulet sad.

Just like Romeo and Juliet...
based on a true story.
lee Jul 2021
I'm smiling, yet inside I'm crying
I'm lost in the wave of life.

I'm shining, but inside I'm burning
my soul is turning to ice.

I'm living, yet inside I'm dying
my feelings, I'm trying to hide.
lee Jul 2021
It's amazing how your life can change within a matter of days.
All of a sudden the very thing that made you happy,
is now the one thing making you sad.
When you lived your life thinking, "This is how its meant to be."
Only to find out, it's not.
It's incredible how you have to learn how adapt to this sudden change, and just go about your life.
As if you were prepared for this and as if you're okay with it.
How do you just let go of something that was once the center of your life?
lee Nov 2020
What is an escape?
Sometimes just lying in your bed.
Sometimes isolation from everything.

What do we escape from?
Life? Sadness?
Maybe not knowing whether you're coming or going.

Why do we need to escape?
It drives us mad.
It gets too much and we don't know how to communicate.
lee Sep 2020
They see you hurt and still they judge
They laugh
They point
But never did they help until it was too late
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