Back in the same state,
Same town,
Same roads,
Same memories.
Yet an emptiness lays on every busy corner without you there.
The coffee shop stands waiting for you,
For us,
And I sit there in the comfort of the shop, waiting for you.
And after all this time,
You finally come.
But only to runaway.
But tell me love,
If you met my eyes
Would you remember why you loved me once?
Would you then stand at the door like you once use to?

Your eyes.
The way they sparkled when they would lay on me....
That's all I have.
That's all I remember.
Cause if I think farther,
Remember more than that about you,
I'll break down and lose the girl I've been trying to make ever since you left.
So that's all I remember,
Your eyes.

By trying to force me to love you
You drove me away farther,
Now you hurt me
Trying to ease your own hurt.
But tell me,
If you love me,
Does hurting me really help you?
Or is it that I have it all wrong,
Is it that you just want to be loved by me,
But not love me in return?

Sitting at the laundromat
watching the basins turn.
Just like the basins,
the earth continues on its own axis in a similar fashion.

Another day goes by,
again once more,
one without passion.

Just dull revolutions
seemingly the same
but wait,
The basin stopped..the basin stopped

He was not the city
Not the speeding cars
The mesmerizing lights
Or the late night parties
He was rather the village right next to it
A village I haven't heard of
He was the night Stars
The feeling of home
The late night convos  
And the long drives on empty roads

One day
We will meet again.
You will once again look at me with the sparkle in your eyes,
And I'll notice you starring.
I'll give back that smile you fell in love with.
One day we will cross paths again
And you will chase after me
To once again say
"Hello my name is....."

The night hovered over us
as the Stars shined out bright
and the breeze danced around us.
The smell of cigarettes hung high.

You pulled me in close to you.
I wrapped my arms around you
As we danced along with the music.
the wind fell in sink with our steps dancing along with us.
I stole the cigarette from your lips into mine
Tasting both you and the nicotine.
Smiles and laughters escaped us.

We slowed down,
Still in each other's arms.
The wind slowed down and blew on us
pushing us into each other even more.
Our Hearts pounded on each other,
As if they were speaking to one another.
We looked up into the night.
Two stars hung right above us,
Shining the brightest,
Closer to one another then the rest.
You looked down at me and our eyes locked.
Heartbeats faster then ever.
We smiled
As we both realized then that our stars were getting aligned together.
We didn't see it coming,
But now there was no backing out.
We were each other's,
It became written in the stars.

I neverrr cried to the night
But since the day you left
I cried to the stars every night
Cried to our stars
Cried to my star
To go chase yours down
And once again
Align us back together

I've accepted ill hurt for now,
to forget 2 years,
it will take time.
but I also know I will be okay one day.
so, for now, I let the memories hurt,
and let the dreams of better days give me strength and hope.
one foot in front of the other,
taking it day by day,
two hearts forgetting each other
I keep on going.

you held me tight before i boarded the plane.
we stayed in each others arms till the very last minute.
not a single word escaped our lips,
but your eyes told me you didn't love me the same anymore.
my eyes pleaded you to not give up on us,
not to let it all go,
but your eyes didn't change.
and i knew this goodbye,
was our final goodbye.
and as i boarded the plane,
it marked the beginning of us becoming strangers,
as we went our separate ways

All my life I've been waiting for love to walk into my little world of tragedy.
When you walked in
I felt the presence of love.
You shined so bright with it inside of you.
Your love was such a sight to see
I couldn't look away.
you looked at me
And as you did,
The love in you shined even brighter.
And within me a little light began to brew.
The light I had hidden deep in me,
Deep under the darkness where hurt was present.

To the girl that let him go,
I thank you the most.

***** perfect.
I'm sick of perfection.
being the perfect girl,
the perfect lover,
hiding my flaws,
competing to be the best to get accepted.

***** perfect,
***** a perfect future.

cause an imperfect future with you,
is what fuels my heart and fills me with life.
all the silliness and love that will be present,
in our not so perfect apartment,
where we sometimes have not so perfect moments,
where my imperfections you don't judge rather you admire them.

cause in this not so perfect love story,
all the imperfections with you
is my version of perfect.

My goal was never to be your first love.
My goal is to be your last love.
That's why even after you told me you loved me,
I still go about us as if I'm chasing you.

I have many flaws,
Flaws that made me scared to get close to people.
You saw them all,
and turned them into nothing short of perfections.

How can someone just disappear,
Cease to exist?
What happens after death?
Do they really appear in our dreams? Arent dreams nothing but our desires?
What does it mean for a heart to stop?
If your heart stops beating then how can you be there for me?
How are u next to me when I don’t feel you?
Is this why I feel empty and unloved?
Because you're not there.
After death,
You cease to exist.

I'm chasing death
To find you.
To find your love again.
In this world, you left me alone.
I need your love back.
Please wait for me.
I need to know your their,
Don't let death take you.
Don't let death make it seem like you don’t exist,
You live within me,
Use my strength and come back.
Come be next to me again.
I'm lonely in this cold world
with a heavy broken heart that goes unloved.
please come back.
Or at least wait for me,
For I believe death will be upon me soon too.

My mind wants one thing
My heart wants another
And for my eyes, well they lay in the middle seeking to please them both
My mind orders my eyes to close and stay closed
But my heart orders for them to open to see you
When my heart takes over my mind gives in
When my mind takes over my heart gives in
For my heart sees nothing but unconditional love for you
But my mind sees the reality of the fact I cannot take a chance with hurt for now.
My mind will not risk letting you into my life in the fear you will hurt me
And my heart will not stop beating to be closer to you and loving you
As for my eyes, it sits, and watches this race
Heart vs mind who will win…….

I looked into the forest
An urge of wanting to run through the trees sparked through my mind.
Run without ever stopping
till it becomes the very last memory of my disappearance.
I'll go into the places men have never been
The dark places men fear
For darkness is where depression hides
I'll Watch from a distance how the absence of my existence affects the ones I love.
Life will move on.
The absence of one person doesn't make the world wait.
While I await life to move on,
I turn green with the sickening surrounding of nature,
Depression keeps me company and away from the fruits of survival(food).
The ground beneath me becomes colder by the day.
And as time comes were I am forgotten enough from the hearts of the ones I care about,
my heart becomes empty from the absence of their love.
Depression
my only friend
takes pity on me.
fills the emptiness in my heart with darkness and lead my heart to a state of tranquility
As my heart goes
Beat-beat, beat-beat
Beat-beat
Beat
And then
Silence.

In moments
I get scared to love u.
For I am a broken girl my love.
Have you not heard the tales about us?
We are the weakened and wounded souls that lash out in order to save ourselves.
We are the bleeding beauties that bleed when hurt.
We are the mentally ill that will not stop till you  yourself go insane.
We open out gates only to descend back behind our walls after we give u a taste of our love.
We offer love only to close up in fear of a broken heart.
We constantly feel hurt over the most minuscule things.
Love is something we want
but love is something we cannot accept.
My love,
We are like a ticking bomb
And love is the match that will set us off.
Run away from me my dear.
For I am a broken girl,
And we broken girls are dangerous.

Maybe you fear to be whole again,
to feel complete.
You've  felt broken for so long,
that you found comfort in it.
Your scared to take the chance of feeling complete in fear it will fall apart.
So you accept being broken
and smile on.

Coming out of giving up is hard.
When you are give up,
The moments leading up to it are moments you slowly lose your true self .
And at the moment you give up,
Even the little parts of yourself, that was still suriving in you,
die.
You let every part of you go in order to give up.
But in some rare cases when something saves you,
And you condsider to give life another try,
The biggest struggle becomes figuring out who you are.
Because no matter how good your situation may be now,
No matter how much you have to be thankful for,  
every part of who you were,
was forgotten.
Its not that your not happy,
Its just you don’t know how to act.
How to be normal,
And how to be you again.