The first sip of wine,
The first and last
Sentence
Of a book.

The ending and beginning note of a song.
Last words,
First words,
Gravestones and last meals,
Vows meant to last forever,
And whatever song
Is running through your mind
At two AM.

And your smile,
When you feel listened to.

That dark thought is always
In my head.
Like an air bag ready to go off,
A “just in case.”

It’s the words that function
As padding in a cell
I’ve trapped myself in.

“If it gets too hard, I don’t have to be here.”

The sky is a beautiful blue
Above this field of dandelions
Gone to seed.
I laid down in them,
And the soft puffy seeds flew around me,
I breathed them in
And they filled my lungs.
Now I can’t breathe
I’m suffocating,
And it’s so beautiful.

I read pages and pages
Of my life from years ago,
And the realization
That was so alone
Was so loud.

Two years later,
Some things have changed...
But tonight,
Hell...
Tonight I shouldn’t have been alone,
But I am again.

A civil war rages internally
My insecurities grab the wheel violently
In a constant state of calamity
Regardless of what side claims victory
I'm destin too lose a part of me
That is, of course,
If it doesn't consume me completely

©2024

This "fairytale" I call life is Brother Grimm, too messy for Disney
Separate the good, the bad and the ugly
Or lump all three together and just label it me
Who or what is responsible for this travesty?
Well,
That's easy
Place me in font of a mirror and you'll see

©2024

And everything
Had happened
The way they promised
It wouldn’t.

I'm not willing to chance it,
casting judgements through my eyes.
I hold my observations
so as to keep my heart alive.
Sure,
I've been through hell and back,
as much as I could take.
Still I refuse to let hell take from me
the reason I escaped.

I won't condemn the blind,
nor the folly's of the meek.
Besides..
Casting judgement is an indication
that karma will repeat.