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If I die in a school shooting
I'll never go home again.
My room will sit unused,
A capsule frozen in time,
A snapshot of how I was.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my dog again.
She will sit at the front door
Waiting for me and wondering,
Why I never came home.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never graduate from high school.
My yearbooks will sit stacked
Stopped short of their goal,
Missing years that should have been.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my mom again.
She will sit distraught,
Planning a funeral
For a child taken from her.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my friends again.
They'll sit together, missing me.
One empty seat among them,
A constant reminder of their loss.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my little sister again.
She will sit through high school
Knowing I can't guide her through,
That she has to figure it out alone.

If I die in a school shooting
My school will be stained.
Pools of students lives will sit,
Blood tattoos on the brick structures,
Marks of death ground into it.

If I die in a school shooting
Everyone will wear black.
They'll send their thoughts and prayers
To a town marred by death,
Forever to be the home of a shooting.

If I die in a school shooting
Will the world change?
Or will I become one of hundreds  
Of kids who have to die?
What will it take?

If things continue this way
Children will have to live in fear.
They'll look over their shoulders
Always worried and wondering,
If they'll die in a school shooting.
The state of Florida is now home to the two most deadly mass shootings in American history. Pulse Nightclub was attacked in my city, I have friends who attend Marjory Stoneman Douglas in Parkland. My little sister often fears going to school. I'm afraid to graduate and leave her. I want to be able to protect her if something happens. I hate that we have a reason to be afraid... That it's reasonable to have these fears. I hate it so f*cking much.
For I once asked him.  
Why is it that I am all alone too  
He smiled back and replied
“ Son you dont need anyone.
You are Unique.  
You came for a Different Purpose.  
Find the Same if not as yet.  
And when you find it.  
You will be all and contended.“.
nippy thursday outside
black berry clusters gather
in their dark matter conclaves
silent is the August essence
it’s morning and it’s laundry day
got only your boxers on
my words soothings your ears.
musically..
but how do i prove them to your heart?
i failed to realize how to start.
i broke your heart.
confused your mind.
created broken art.
i reached your limits.
i never understood how to start?
now i see where you stand.
lost, hurt, probably?
destroyed.
now you see us apart.
i failed to realize how to start?
i realize it was me.. toxicity.
self-love wasnt in me.
destroyed me to destroy you.
i wasnt ready.
but i cnt let you go!
reread these words.
can you help us restart?
and make art!
a.l
Am at this edge
Looking down at beautiful  clouds,
Tired of wondering,
How it feels to  ,fly with my generations eagles,
How it feels to ,breath the top air,
How it feels to,stay full because am always hungry,
How it feels to ,have my hands for wings,
How it feels to ,use my dear friend fear to get me there,
Because fear is,my dear friend who drove me here.

I see this beautiful people, flying above me,
So beautiful,so bold,larger than life as they eminate love,
I hear voices, saying just jump,
Take this risk,Fly with us we will teach you,
For there are many who you will help, just jump,
Fear my driver,my friend,
Took a plunge I heard him squeal,
I don't see him flying though,
Neither did I hear him fall,
But I can feel him take control now,
Giving me excuses not to jump,
Offering a ride back,
To my comfort zone home

Thank you fear,
For driving me here,
I don't want a ride ,
I'll take the plunge,
I won't close my eyes,I'll keep them wide,
Stalling,like a bullet will rob my time,
I'm burning the brigdes by this, I don't care,
I'll hit the ground running,
Or spread this hands, coaxing the birds,
Fear my friend,some times my coward friend,
Hop on my back seat,
You've drove me forso long,It's my turn now,
Your my friend,I won't cast you aside,
So buckle up, collect  the memories as I drive.
Sometimes we get stuck in wrong situations,at that point time due to our animal instincts our emotions and brains combine creating this illusion called fear,Fear in turn triggers the fight or flight and now it's up to your brains conditioning to pick one fear will give you a ride to whichever you choose,This are not the only options though because if you have ever run from what every problem it is  you wear running from,It might be addiction, a bad marriage,failure in any dimension of your life you name it,if you get to a state of fear your mind will give you solutions what you should have done,what you can still do,how you can fix it,how you can learn from it and again Solutions but most often this same fear can hold you back,it's ironic like that it gives you a solution then holds you back showing you everything that could go wrong so your brain and your soul are in a battle one wants to go ahead use this solutions when the other is visualizing all the ways everything could go wrong .I've found myself in this kind of situations a lot.So I wrote this to just when I was about to make a life changing decision yes it was out of fear but it is the best choice I have no regrets.Fear is my friend even though I have to put it on a leash sometimes
His laying there lying,
His crying  while lying
His lying is turning us into crying crimes,
Eyes shades blind from all this fake crying,
Laying there,lying while crying,
Probably because he knows his dying.
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