I only feel what's bad

and I'm really good at it.

I wasn't born

to be myself,

I was someone else's.

I got all the help money can buy

but I can't be helped,

but when you say that I'm your friend,

I really hope it's real this time.

I hope you're real this time.

Every day the sun sets the same
and night comes again
and we disappear into dreams until the morning,
to fight the monsters we imagined but couldn't see.

I treated you like any other girl

And I wanted you to want to **** me
and maybe you did
but you also fell in love
with my weaknesses and
that wasn't the plan but
what a relief it was
to drop the get-up.

My vulnerabilities were
delicious and your short-comings

****.

If I could sculpt one memory
I would sculpt your eyes

looking like an enemy looks
at their foe's demise.

Looking lavishly and certain.
Certain, like a child

looks underneath a Christmas tree
expecting surprise.

But you were engaged when we met.
Teenaged and so wild

And still those counterproposals
Trigger sorry sighs.