Sometimes no matter what you do, you are the only one to lose.
So the road you travel on, you end up all alone.
But continue to wander until you find home.
As some roads we have to travel alone.
As long as what you continue to do is enough for you.
You end up walking into something new.
Don't ever feel you have to turn around, back down that lonely road.
Keep your promise of never looking or turning back.
The past is behind you, the future in front of you.
And before you know it you have found home, you've found it in you.
I'm worth more than you think, I'm deeper than you know.
All of my feelings I struggle to show, life is never easy and healing is slow.
Am i broken forever? Nothing but a dim glow
I don't think anyone will ever have the key.
Or could ever begin to understand the complexity of me.
Darkness reaches all corners of my mind.
A constant battle but a stronger girl, you will not find.
So please just let me be, I can battle my demons, I only rely on me.
A problem shared is not always a problem halved.
Funny as it seems, I can not see my demons starved.
Old friends him and me.
I think that's the way it's always meant to be
Don't you know you are beautiful?
It's easy to see, May be not for you but it is to me.
Don't let them change you,
You contain more beauty than they ever could.
No matter what we do, we will always be judged.
So let them, it says more about them, than you or me.
So don't you see you are beautiful and I just need you to see.
So keep doing what you do. Stay beautiful.
Beauty is but skin deep, but how far do you feel it goes?
Do you feel it in your bones?
Big or small beauty is within us all
I have searched for so long, for somewhere to belong.
When it was with you all along
We are made of all the moments and people that have built and broken us.
It's how we carry on that defines us.
Believe me when I say you are doing just fine.
We suffer in silence because the world doesn't want us to shout.
But how are things ever going to change if we can't tell people what it's about.
Are they scared that once the issues become known, that people will realise that there was no need to suffer alone.
I'm tired of biting my tongue, we've all done it for far to long.
So let me be the first to say I have mental health issues and they aren't going away.
The world treats it like its a disease, we will bring them to their knees.
I want change and so should You, let's force their hands so they have to start something new.
To educate, to improve.
We aren't crazy, we've just been strong for too long.
I feel no shame in saying, it's just a chemical imbalance in my brain.
I don't know if I can ever go back to being who I once was, before the cracks appeared.
The endless tears that have stained my face since our last embrace.
If love was enough then you would of stayed, but you couldn't no matter how much I prayed.
Look down on me from time to time and know that you are never off my mind.
Look after the piece of me that died that day, the day when you went away.
#grief #tears #death #sorrow #love #pray #cracks #endless embrace time
These scars will fade away, but the things that caused them will not.
Those thoughts will always be hiding the shadows, stored in the back of mind.
Old wounds heal and time brings something new.
How we fight and survive is always going to be down to you.
Don't let the struggle weigh you down after all you've been through you emerged wearing a crown.
My story is written all over my skin, my poetry on these pages.
They both tell a story of my life at different ages.
They tell you about my soul and how I've never felt whole.
I judge myself harshly enough without people pointing fingers, how they have hurt me, and that damage still lingers
My demons will always be a part of Me,
I used to wonder if they would ever leave.
Now it's about trying to live in harmony.
There are good days and bad.
Yet I'm still here I won't let him win.
I've fought for too long to just give in.
So he will have to live as a part of me
As neither of us are going to leave.
I've stood toe to toe with the devil and won.
So believe me when I tell you that your hell has only just begun
No matter how many times you have been torn apart
That doesn't stop you from giving away your heart.
To hope they wont shatter you into dust giving someone your trust to love you whole
I feel so much more with you than I have ever felt before.
You always leave me wanting more.
I don't think I could ever get enough of you.
I know you struggle to see what I see in you.
Eventually you will see it too, I love how you are unapologetically you.
Most of all I want you to know, I never want to let you go.
You ask me how I am feeling and yet I can't begin to describe the jumble of feelings I keep hidden inside.
I can't tell you I won't always be this way
I can't tell you why I've hidden away.
Most of all I can't make you stay.
As much as I want you I can't help but watch you walk away.
Maybe my feelings will never see the light of day.
I guess in the dark I am here to stay.
I'm the hardest person to get to know.
I struggle to let my feelings show.
Yet here on paper you would never know.
You read my words as my feelings flow.
I wish it was as easy in life, like the words that fill this page.
So I hand you my written words to sit and read them through.
Now you know just how I feel, but do they make you just as blue?
Don't dampen your flames because the world can't take your fire.
Continue to burn even brighter.
The right ones will always burn with you.
I'm a force of nature.
I will rip you open and tear away your soul.
Why should I be the only one that isn't whole.
Is it that I want you or is it the fact I don't know how to love you at all.
In return I myself do not know how to love, and then there was you.
You kept me wild but just enough and took all the pieces from my broken heart.
You showed me how love should have been from the start.
I will travel through galaxies to find you.
All my eyes see now are the stars, even in the light.
I'm still looking for You, my nights are empty without you.
I'm counting the nights until I find you.
I dare not dream because what are they to me without you.
Although stars are basically dead when our eyes rest upon them, it's unlike my love for you.
Which burns like fire, and will always stay alight.
You are all the planet's aligned, my perfect night.
I will travel galaxies to find you, and when I do I will tell you of all the galaxies I searched looking for you.
I need to learn to love myself before I can love you.
I must remember broken is beautiful too.
You keep telling me that you will be my glue, to show me that it's ok to fall apart that putting me back together is your own form of art.
Please be patient and remember I need to love me before I can love you, regardless of you wanting to be my glue.
I'm standing here by your grave, as the tears slide down my face.
I know you are watching over Me, it's still not the same as having you next to me.
I don't know how others have managed to let Go.
Will I ever be able to i don't know.
You've missed watching my son grow.
I hope that you would be proud of the perfect man he's turning out to be.
All thanks to You and what you instilled in me.
We sit and look at your picture and talk about who you are.
We look for you in every single star.
If I let you go, will I remember how much you loved me so.
All of the places we used to go, the things we've done and still had to do.
The things I now do without you.
Every day, month or year that passes by doesn't stop the tears that I now cry.
Yes grief is hard and it's a pain we all know.
but How do you begin to grieve for someone that you haven't lost, who is still here physically.
That is also one of the hardest things we have to endure.
I don't think my heart can take it anymore.
To see you and act like I'm not broken and that you haven't torn my heart wide open.
It's me that needs to grieve, for the girl that I used to be.
Here we are still breathing, still loving.
They didn't break you and you know what? they never could.
You've endured more in one life than anybody else ever could.
You are strong, even though there are days you do not feel it you smile at the world even though you don't mean it.
That is what is great about you, you fight each and every new day.
I hope your pain soon fades away.
Remember that you are a hero in every way.
Hopelessly addicted to you.
I crave you like a drug.
My love for you coursing through my veins.
Driving me insane.
Please tell me you feel the same.
If this is madness I don't ever want to be sane.
My heart now shaped into a statue of you
I'm Hopeless, hopelessly addicted to you
How can I love him?
When I all I dream of is you.
Nothing for you love that I wouldn't do.
All I need is for you to love me too
How do I know that I am over you?
I no longer look for you in the places, we once went.
You no longer haunt my heart or rent a space in my head.
The love and torch I once carried for you now officially dead.
#overyou #over #haunt #rent #head #love #dead #torch #heart
I am enough, and that's what i need to try and see.
You tell me I am and that should be enough for me.
But it isn't I need to be enough for me.
It's not a reflection of you but a reflection of me.
It's something I've never felt because all I am is me.
I need to remember I am enough.
I am enough for me
I am not my illness, my illness isn't me but yet I wonder who I would be without it living inside of me.
Are we afraid to let it go, afraid of the person we do not know.
I have forgotten what it feels like not to carry it around with me.
So yes I'm scared, scared to be free because what if I am my illness and my illness is me.
It's all new to me, this feeling of jealousy.
Why am I so insecure, when you keep telling me that you are mine and I am yours.
You give no reason for me to feel this way it's nothing you do or say.
I'm scared that it will push you away. As my insecurities eat me away.
Promise me you will stay.
It's hard as I don't see what you see in me, as you are perfect and well I am just me.
Love me for me, not the girl you want me to be
Peel away my Mask,
Reveal my skin.
Can you see the girl I hide within?
Or do you see what the world chooses to see, the girl that isn't me
We all fight battles everyday.
Don't compare your fight to anybody else's.
Such a stigma on mental health that we chose to go to battle alone.
We hide what hurts us and show the world a smile.
So be kind to everyone you meet you do not know the pain they keep.
All because the world told them they had to let the demons sleep.
So we suffer in silence because of a few small minds.
When you look in the mirror, tell me what do you see?
Is it the person you have always wanted to become or who the world created from day one
There are always going to be days that seem harder to survive.
Certain dates, certain months.
No matter how rough it gets, stop and breathe.
Let the sun touch your skin, do you feel the warmth it emits?
That's something small to remind you that, you can still feel.
Feel something other than this.
These moments that show us we can still find some happiness in everyday.
And you know what you're still here, surviving.
Despite all of this pain.
Chin up little fighter tomorrow is another day.
Pain loss heartbreak love tomorrow moments feel touch months days
No matter how many sunsets or sunrises I see, they are as beautiful and individual as you and me.
They remind me you are watching over me, A love lost but a soul set free
You loved me for my whole life,
I will miss you for the rest of mine.
I never saw it coming, they day you died.
If I did, it wouldn't of made it any easier that much I know.
Now we have to learn to let you go.
The memories we shared will always bring me some joy.
The tears I now shed, for the moments that you won't get to enjoy.
I want you to know, how much I loved you so.
Although this time is hard, I smile when i remember you, as I know that the ones who love us never truly leave us.
Just like in the ways we never truly let them go
You are at peace now that I know.
My head knows all the reasons but the grief still won't let me go.
My love for you knows no bounds even now, I look at the stars and I see you somehow.
Am i too afraid of when my heart starts to heal that your death will become all too real.
The grief when it gives me a reprieve, will it still be just as hard to breathe.
Without your love I feel nothing but this pain in my heart and soul.
Please can we just go back to the start when I still had all the pieces of my heart
How do I begin to tell you, you no longer have my heart.
We both know it, we've been torn apart.
It's unfair of me to stay, I can see I'm causing you pain.
It doesn't matter what you say, my minds made up I'm walking away.
The old cliche it's not you it's me.
All I ask is that you believe me one last time, for all the years that you were mine.
It's not going to work out and you are being blind.
All I can say is I'm sorry I've made up my mind.
I hope you find someone New, who will love you like I used to.
Where did It start?
With the first man that broke my heart?
The one that just walked away, because I wasn't enough to make him stay
Nobody is perfect, because perfect doesn't exist.
I have many flaws and I am trying to embrace them.
Trying to ignore the haters and turn around and face them.
They aren't better than you or Me, I just needed to open my eyes to see.
I am stronger than all the things I have overcome and in that sense i have already won.
They say that insecurities are loud and that is true.
Yet all my insecurities were always down to you.
So watch me bring you to your knees it's only me I need to learn to please.
I sit and look at your picture, in pride of place.
I want to tell you how much I've missed you.
How Every Day is a struggle without your love.
When will this feeling leave me?
Until the next time you see me?
Will I be forever blue, living my life with out You?
What if when it passes, I don't know who I am anymore, without the weight of the grief dragging me to the floor?
I didn't just lose you, I lost me too.
I search every corner of my mind because it's you I still hope to find.
I've been writing this for days, yet the page stays empty.
So frustrating as I want to say plenty.
To tell you of all that I feel for you, and I don't ever want to stop loving you.
I suppose the empty page alone speaks more than a thousand beautiful words ever could.
Knowing the love we share is too beautiful to put on this page. I hope I never stop feeling this, your love leaves me reeling
I can't promise you that it will be ok, I can only promise you that by your side I will stay.
On your darkest day I will be here, to hold your hand and keep you near.
Even when you feel you are falling apart just know I only want to help heal your heart.
I will help put you back together for you and I are meant to be forever
You are the one that knows how my heart beats from the inside.
The truest love of my life.
I won't always get it right.
I'm sure as the years pass there will be the occasional fight, a war of words.
Know I only want the best for You, no one will love you the way I do.
You are my reason for being, the light guiding me through.
I will always be here for you, as only a mother can do.
Show me all the parts of you, that you choose to hide away.
I will love you regardless, whatever you have to say.
You can't hide in the shadows, never letting all of you see the light of day.
That's the lesson we have to learn, that the right one will love you anyway.
Until you feel you can tell me, you can be the night and I will be your day.
We are all full of both light and dark, just dont let it devoid you of your spark.
I can feel too much or nothing at all.
It's all or nothing with me.
It's the way I was brought up to be.
What a curse to live with or for somebody to have to endure me.
I can see why they like to run, loading bullets into the gun.
I'm like a game of Russian roulette.
To be hit or to live with the knowledge of the bullet they will never get.
We all fall apart, each time we put ourselves back together in a different way.
Never the person we once were, all because we got burnt.
Yet the world still turns in just the same way, even though it doesn't feel that way.
You continue to fight with all your might, you are brave, extraordinary.
So It doesn't matter if you fall apart, you still have the same heart.
Doesn't matter that you've put yourself back together differently, as your heart is still the same just filled with a little more pain.
It's not to end my life, as strange as it sounds.
Doesn't mean i don't enjoy the feel of the knife, blood seeping from open wounds on my skin.
Feelings that have been kept stored within.
These feelings I can't express but this helps me feel them less.
It's my addiction, my secret sin, All these feelings, no longer hidden within, as they rush out like the blood running down my skin.
Don't hide away in the dark, let the world see you shine bright.
We all need a little light, even though it can be a little hard to see.
There are better things waiting for you and me.
Somebody you have not met, is waiting to love you.
Love you in unimaginable ways, trust me there will always be better days.