How do I begin to tell you, you no longer have my heart.
We both know it, we've been torn apart.
It's unfair of me to stay, I can see I'm causing you pain.
It doesn't matter what you say, my minds made up I'm walking away.
The old cliche it's not you it's me.
All I ask is that you believe me one last time, for all the years that you were mine.
It's not going to work out and you are being blind.
All I can say is I'm sorry I've made up my mind.
I hope you find someone New, who will love you like I used to.
Yes grief is hard and it's a pain we all know.
but How do you begin to grieve for someone that you haven't lost, who is still here physically.
That is also one of the hardest things we have to endure.
I don't think my heart can take it anymore.
To see you and act like I'm not broken and that you haven't torn my heart wide open.
It's me that needs to grieve, for the girl that I used to be.
Nobody is perfect, because perfect doesn't exist.
I have many flaws and I am trying to embrace them.
Trying to ignore the haters and turn around and face them.
They aren't better than you or Me, I just needed to open my eyes to see.
I am stronger than all the things I have overcome and in that sense i have already won.
They say that insecurities are loud and that is true.
Yet all my insecurities were always down to you.
So watch me bring you to your knees it's only me I need to learn to please.
I'm standing here by your grave, as the tears slide down my face.
I know you are watching over Me, it's still not the same as having you next to me.
I don't know how others have managed to let Go.
Will I ever be able to i don't know.
You've missed watching my son grow.
I hope that you would be proud of the perfect man he's turning out to be.
All thanks to You and what you instilled in me.
We sit and look at your picture and talk about who you are.
We look for you in every single star.
If I let you go, will I remember how much you loved me so.
All of the places we used to go, the things we've done and still had to do.
The things I now do without you.
Every day, month or year that passes by doesn't stop the tears that I now cry.
Don't hide away in the dark, let the world see you shine bright.
We all need a little light, even though it can be a little hard to see.
There are better things waiting for you and me.
Somebody you have not met, is waiting to love you.
Love you in unimaginable ways, trust me there will always be better days.
My body is my journal, the tattoos are the ink.
So take the time to get to read my story.
They show that I have lived.
Time passes, but nothing has changed.
I still sit here waiting until I can see you again.
I feel every ounce of pain, I relive those moments.
The moments when you left, that fateful day that left me so bereft.
There are days when the sun can penetrate my icy exterior so I once again feel its warmth.
Then there are other days were I'm as cold and dark as winter.
They say time is a healer but time has slipped through my fingers and yet nothing has changed.
These scars will fade away, but the things that caused them will not.
Those thoughts will always be hiding the shadows, stored in the back of mind.
Old wounds heal and time brings something new.
How we fight and survive is always going to be down to you.
Don't let the struggle weigh you down after all you've been through you emerged wearing a crown.
We suffer in silence because the world doesn't want us to shout.
But how are things ever going to change if we can't tell people what it's about.
Are they scared that once the issues become known, that people will realise that there was no need to suffer alone.
I'm tired of biting my tongue, we've all done it for far to long.
So let me be the first to say I have mental health issues and they aren't going away.
The world treats it like its a disease, we will bring them to their knees.
I want change and so should You, let's force their hands so they have to start something new.
To educate, to improve.
We aren't crazy, we've just been strong for too long.
I feel no shame in saying, it's just a chemical imbalance in my brain.
Don't dampen your flames because the world can't take your fire.
Continue to burn even brighter.
The right ones will always burn with you.
My demons will always be a part of Me,
I used to wonder if they would ever leave.
Now it's about trying to live in harmony.
There are good days and bad.
Yet I'm still here I won't let him win.
I've fought for too long to just give in.
So he will have to live as a part of me
As neither of us are going to leave.
We all fight battles everyday.
Don't compare your fight to anybody else's.
Such a stigma on mental health that we chose to go to battle alone.
We hide what hurts us and show the world a smile.
So be kind to everyone you meet you do not know the pain they keep.
All because the world told them they had to let the demons sleep.
So we suffer in silence because of a few small minds.
Hopelessly addicted to you.
I crave you like a drug.
My love for you coursing through my veins.
Driving me insane.
Please tell me you feel the same.
If this is madness I don't ever want to be sane.
My heart now shaped into a statue of you
I'm Hopeless, hopelessly addicted to you
You steal my words away.
So much I want to say.
I hope this is the way it always stays.
Taking my breath away.
Each and everyday,
Finding myself with less to say.
But who needs words anyway.
You loved me for my whole life,
I will miss you for the rest of mine.
I never saw it coming, they day you died.
If I did, it wouldn't of made it any easier that much I know.
Now we have to learn to let you go.
The memories we shared will always bring me some joy.
The tears I now shed, for the moments that you won't get to enjoy.
I want you to know, how much I loved you so.
Although this time is hard, I smile when i remember you, as I know that the ones who love us never truly leave us.
Just like in the ways we never truly let them go
I don't think it's true that people enjoy to stand out.
As much as they say they do.
As much as they wish they did.
I am guilty more than most.
My whole life I've spent wanting, nothing more than to fit in.
To be accepted for who I am.
As we get older not fitting in becomes easier than it did at school.
To forget about the people that made you feel worthless in the halls.
Being made to feel like that way never truly leaves you.
So be kind to the ones that you feel are so different from you.
As they are not the ones that should be made to feel worthless, take a look in the mirror because if this is something you do,
The only person that should be made to feel worthless is you.
So maybe I am still bitter and I deserve to be because everyday being made to endure this I became less of me.
Sometimes no matter what you do, you are the only one to lose.
So the road you travel on, you end up all alone.
But continue to wander until you find home.
As some roads we have to travel alone.
As long as what you continue to do is enough for you.
You end up walking into something new.
Don't ever feel you have to turn around, back down that lonely road.
Keep your promise of never looking or turning back.
The past is behind you, the future in front of you.
And before you know it you have found home, you've found it in you.
Don't you know you are beautiful?
It's easy to see, May be not for you but it is to me.
Don't let them change you,
You contain more beauty than they ever could.
No matter what we do, we will always be judged.
So let them, it says more about them, than you or me.
So don't you see you are beautiful and I just need you to see.
So keep doing what you do. Stay beautiful.
I'm the hardest person to get to know.
I struggle to let my feelings show.
Yet here on paper you would never know.
You read my words as my feelings flow.
I wish it was as easy in life, like the words that fill this page.
So I hand you my written words to sit and read them through.
Now you know just how I feel, but do they make you just as blue?
I am enough, and that's what i need to try and see.
You tell me I am and that should be enough for me.
But it isn't I need to be enough for me.
It's not a reflection of you but a reflection of me.
It's something I've never felt because all I am is me.
I need to remember I am enough.
I am enough for me
There are always going to be days that seem harder to survive.
Certain dates, certain months.
No matter how rough it gets, stop and breathe.
Let the sun touch your skin, do you feel the warmth it emits?
That's something small to remind you that, you can still feel.
Feel something other than this.
These moments that show us we can still find some happiness in everyday.
And you know what you're still here, surviving.
Despite all of this pain.
Chin up little fighter tomorrow is another day.
Pain loss heartbreak love tomorrow moments feel touch months days
I love you without reason.
I love you for you.
For if there was a reason and something was to change,
Then so would my heart.
I don't think either of us could take that pain.
So I love you without reason and I don't want that to change.
I love You, unapologetically you.
Show me all the parts of you, that you choose to hide away.
I will love you regardless, whatever you have to say.
You can't hide in the shadows, never letting all of you see the light of day.
That's the lesson we have to learn, that the right one will love you anyway.
Until you feel you can tell me, you can be the night and I will be your day.
We are all full of both light and dark, just dont let it devoid you of your spark.
I will travel through galaxies to find you.
All my eyes see now are the stars, even in the light.
I'm still looking for You, my nights are empty without you.
I'm counting the nights until I find you.
I dare not dream because what are they to me without you.
Although stars are basically dead when our eyes rest upon them, it's unlike my love for you.
Which burns like fire, and will always stay alight.
You are all the planet's aligned, my perfect night.
I will travel galaxies to find you, and when I do I will tell you of all the galaxies I searched looking for you.
We all fall apart, each time we put ourselves back together in a different way.
Never the person we once were, all because we got burnt.
Yet the world still turns in just the same way, even though it doesn't feel that way.
You continue to fight with all your might, you are brave, extraordinary.
So It doesn't matter if you fall apart, you still have the same heart.
Doesn't matter that you've put yourself back together differently, as your heart is still the same just filled with a little more pain.
We are all just stories waiting to be read.
To be understood.
What more can we hope for than for Some one that understands the complexities of our souls.
The ones that don't give up halfway through the ones that want to know the real You
I am never more me than when I am with you.
I've never said this out loud but read my words and know that I mean it.
You've shown me more love in the short time we've been together than I could ever dream to find in this lifetime.
You've opened my eyes and made me realise I can be so much more than what I ever hoped to be
You make me want to be better, you've encouraged me to follow my dreams.
I can only hope to do the same for you because it's you I never want to lose.
Baby I just love you.
I feel so much more with you than I have ever felt before.
You always leave me wanting more.
I don't think I could ever get enough of you.
I know you struggle to see what I see in you.
Eventually you will see it too, I love how you are unapologetically you.
Most of all I want you to know, I never want to let you go.
It's all new to me, this feeling of jealousy.
Why am I so insecure, when you keep telling me that you are mine and I am yours.
You give no reason for me to feel this way it's nothing you do or say.
I'm scared that it will push you away. As my insecurities eat me away.
Promise me you will stay.
It's hard as I don't see what you see in me, as you are perfect and well I am just me.
I'm not easy to love, but nothing good comes easy.
So be patient, show me that you are here to stay.
I don't want you to be someone else that walks away.
Healing takes time, it's a slow winding road.
All I need to know is that I'm not travelling alone.
Help me mend the broken pieces of my heart and soul, then maybe we can become whole.
Let's stand in the rain, to help me wash away the pain.
Take my hand and let's not walk alone.
I will be set free then I can begin to be me.
One free of these chains, to keep following this road because i don't want to travel alone.
You ask me how I am feeling and yet I can't begin to describe the jumble of feelings I keep hidden inside.
I can't tell you I won't always be this way
I can't tell you why I've hidden away.
Most of all I can't make you stay.
As much as I want you I can't help but watch you walk away.
Maybe my feelings will never see the light of day.
I guess in the dark I am here to stay.
I want to thank you for all you have done without knowing that you have.
For making me believe the potential in me.
For giving me the confidence that I've always lacked, knowing you have my back.
Showing me you care and that you will always be there.
For trusting in me the way I trust in you.
For all that you do I just wanted to say thank you.
Never stop being you or loving me the way you do.
Stop searching for perfect because perfect doesn't exist.
If that's what you hope to find, you will end up losing your mind.
You will miss the person that turns up out of the blue, the one that is totally imperfect but imperfect for you.
The one that from the start, appreciates you like a work of art.
The one that is your missing puzzle piece but most of all the one that finally feels like home.
We are made of all the moments and people that have built and broken us.
It's how we carry on that defines us.
Believe me when I say you are doing just fine.
You are not the person you want others to believe you are.
I see the real You, the beauty of your mind.
Deeper than the blue of your eyes.
A girl that is a constant surprise.
A girl that is smart, funny, true, now all I want, is for you to believe in You, just the way that I do
You are guarded, you've put up walls
Waiting For the right one to climb, to explore the corners of your mind.
You haven't always been this way, scared to let them crumble.
You still hope for the one that will make them tumble.
Smile, breathe You will see that not all are the same, not just out to cause you pain.
When you let that person in to see the magic of you, you can begin again.
Begin to be unapologetically you
You are the one that knows how my heart beats from the inside.
The truest love of my life.
I won't always get it right.
I'm sure as the years pass there will be the occasional fight, a war of words.
Know I only want the best for You, no one will love you the way I do.
You are my reason for being, the light guiding me through.
I will always be here for you, as only a mother can do.
No matter how many times you have been torn apart
That doesn't stop you from giving away your heart.
To hope they wont shatter you into dust giving someone your trust to love you whole
I sit and look at your picture, in pride of place.
I want to tell you how much I've missed you.
How Every Day is a struggle without your love.
When will this feeling leave me?
Until the next time you see me?
Will I be forever blue, living my life with out You?
What if when it passes, I don't know who I am anymore, without the weight of the grief dragging me to the floor?
I didn't just lose you, I lost me too.
I search every corner of my mind because it's you I still hope to find.
Here we are still breathing, still loving.
They didn't break you and you know what? they never could.
You've endured more in one life than anybody else ever could.
You are strong, even though there are days you do not feel it you smile at the world even though you don't mean it.
That is what is great about you, you fight each and every new day.
I hope your pain soon fades away.
Remember that you are a hero in every way.
Here is my truth for you.
I won't resent you I never have, not even after or what you continue to put me through.
That's the sad thing because it's true what they say, you crave what you've never had.
I never had love and I never had you, yet here I am still chasing after you.
My mind racing over what made me so different from the rest, the others you clutch to your chest.
Even if my soul never rests and continues to struggle for you this is the **** bit my truth for you.
I've been writing this for days, yet the page stays empty.
So frustrating as I want to say plenty.
To tell you of all that I feel for you, and I don't ever want to stop loving you.
I suppose the empty page alone speaks more than a thousand beautiful words ever could.
Knowing the love we share is too beautiful to put on this page. I hope I never stop feeling this, your love leaves me reeling
I'm walking away, what I really want is for you to give me a reason to stay.
A reason for me to stop feeling this way.
Did I really mean nothing to you?
Is it the way I behave that drives you away, don't forget you made me this way.
It's supposed to be unconditional Love, I guess it's not true what they say.
You can't love me and I will be ok, maybe not today or tomorrow or a year from now.
I will make my life better somehow.
Then you can live with knowing it was nothing to do with you, the person I will become and the person I am now, the one you never knew how to love.
Free from a life, without trouble or strife.
I am not my illness, my illness isn't me but yet I wonder who I would be without it living inside of me.
Are we afraid to let it go, afraid of the person we do not know.
I have forgotten what it feels like not to carry it around with me.
So yes I'm scared, scared to be free because what if I am my illness and my illness is me.
I can't promise you that it will be ok, I can only promise you that by your side I will stay.
On your darkest day I will be here, to hold your hand and keep you near.
Even when you feel you are falling apart just know I only want to help heal your heart.
I will help put you back together for you and I are meant to be forever
You are at peace now that I know.
My head knows all the reasons but the grief still won't let me go.
My love for you knows no bounds even now, I look at the stars and I see you somehow.
Am i too afraid of when my heart starts to heal that your death will become all too real.
The grief when it gives me a reprieve, will it still be just as hard to breathe.
Without your love I feel nothing but this pain in my heart and soul.
Please can we just go back to the start when I still had all the pieces of my heart
Remember that you deserve something more than those who give up on you.
Learn to let Go, it's easier that way.
Know that those people don't deserve to stay.
Don't let it weigh heavy on your heart or eat you away.
You are fire and burn for the things you love.
Don't let it turn you bitter as then they have won.
No one deserves to be hurt that way, some people never learn until it's too late.
Don't let it be that way, know I believe in you and send good things your way.
I need to learn to love myself before I can love you.
I must remember broken is beautiful too.
You keep telling me that you will be my glue, to show me that it's ok to fall apart that putting me back together is your own form of art.
Please be patient and remember I need to love me before I can love you, regardless of you wanting to be my glue.
I'm a force of nature.
I will rip you open and tear away your soul.
Why should I be the only one that isn't whole.
Is it that I want you or is it the fact I don't know how to love you at all.
In return I myself do not know how to love, and then there was you.
You kept me wild but just enough and took all the pieces from my broken heart.
You showed me how love should have been from the start.
I can feel too much or nothing at all.
It's all or nothing with me.
It's the way I was brought up to be.
What a curse to live with or for somebody to have to endure me.
I can see why they like to run, loading bullets into the gun.
I'm like a game of Russian roulette.
To be hit or to live with the knowledge of the bullet they will never get.