Happenstance of happened chance
meting you in - of all places -
a shopping mall
me, broke and somewhat broken,
myself the only credit to the credit cards
I can’t have
An opportunity afforded us at an inopportune moment
seeing you bleary eyed none the less
your scent drawn intense
me, smelling mostly from my nose
no haircut as yet, barely bathed
weeks of laundry piled in corners of darkened rooms
Heading toward leaning forward
to greet you as I thought I ought
forehead to forehead
having to all but chase you down the hallway
to simply hold your hand
wondering once again if it were you
or a mirage of someone I’d met
Kissing your fictitious kisses
there on the street for no one to see
perhaps that’s why there are so many alley ways
in this frozen town
too many couples like us with too many,
far too many complex issues,
too many to talk about some times
I realized then
we were talking on the street or talking in a mall or talking in a bowling alley
that’s all we’re ever seen to do
and I’m not sure you want to talk about it at all.
Let’s be civil you said
and I believed you then
and now I’m a stranger in my own home
lost amid the music, food
and lost happiness
Civility, in my terms entails a
certain awareness of one another’s feelings
weren’t you thinking - dropping by at the drop of a hat
with those you’d be ashamed to be
seen with had it been my invitation to you
rather than theirs
It was you who touted that you’d be
embarrassed when you were invited to my home,
“it just doesn’t feel right”, you told me
“they’re too close to me to make me feel comfortable”,
and now I can’t seem to share this evening's laughter.
The invitations faded as we spent more and more time
and now that you’re alone with them,
and I with my thoughts
I wonder if you can feel any pain through that laughter
An "ex" drops by to visit with room-mates and - it - is - awkward.
Standing there, tears in eyes
unbelievable after all of twenty-seven days in captivity -
The beauty of the south-central Yukon tour by pouring ducts
purged by pain, anger, disappointment, wonder, pain, anger, anger
twisted wreck of unemployment all of a sudden
Torn emotion of having to say how you felt - all of a sudden
I felt it - all of a sudden I knew our lives had changed.
Your recent empty plate of practical unemployment
giving way to the truth of how we’d felt about one another
somehow - all of a sudden.
I didn’t stand a chance trying to tell you that.
The cops appeared with the bosses boss and time was of the essence
and we couldn’t make a scene and we didn’t know what to do
and I didn’t know what to say and you did - and you had
and it mattered to me - it mattered a lot that you’d confided in me
and it mattered that you cared and it mattered to you that you let me know
and it mattered that I call you that evening (sorry but we couldn’t talk)
and it mattered to me that I mattered to you
I was all there -
all at once.
I was working at a camp with a gal who was fired mid-summer. In my attempts to console her, I realized she was a bit of "nut". The stories I'd heard all summer suddenly made sense.
We were young and foolish, she the younger –
I the more foolish
hair falling softly from the table she would lie on
using keys to the dark-room during lunch hour
so we could “finish the yearbook”
excited by thoughts of getting caught during those encounters
The red light accentuated the perkiness of her *******, taught
filled with passion and energy.
I would lick my way past her belly button and could taste the chlorine from her recent swim practice.
her pool-noodle legs arched up, inviting me to stare at her
newly formed mound, still growing into her thighs
it was delightful.
She was beautiful.
Years on I’d come to spend more time with the woman from
cash register four – Thursdays noon till 8.
we were uncommitted to commitment thus,
neither of us took too much, too seriously
She wore her hair shorter on a-countta’ it got so ****** hot
in that store,
she would sometimes dehydrate – her neck glistening.
from the store and the hot flashes.
Her ******* would sway from side to side as she lay there waiting for me to undress
the evenings were rather unceremonious –
though quite memorable. We never lacked energy.
Once golf-ball sized ******* had begun to sink into her abundant pillowy chest.
I would take forever it seemed ******* like a child
until they obeyed the demand for attention.
Rounding her hips, I could taste the day-long sweat
smothered under that poly-nylon store smock
Later, she would toss her leg over mine, allowing me more than a glimpse
of her “womanhood” she called it.
all matted and twisted from the long afternoon
her greying ***** beginning to show her age
along the rest of her body.
She was beautiful.
The -older woman- referred to me as “well rounded” – the lady four years my senior
summer afternoons we’d spend quietly just sitting on the bed
Sometimes, with nothing to say
Most of her hair had left her head by now from the months of chemo
Gentle massage to her shoulders and upper arms somehow quelled her headaches
from time to time she would welcome me
“be gentle” she would whisper
Kissing the nape of her neck to make way for her remaining breast
She’d had the other removed months ago.
I could taste the dusty sun-screen from her gardening
just above the tops of her hips
kissing my way down the pudge folds of her belly to her thigh
then what remained of her once neatly trimmed mound
muddled and untidy if at all.
She was so beautiful.
An amalgamation of fact and fiction. Years on I have at least my memory.
Huh - some hero
a broken man of broken dreams
found crawling from the ditch dredged by strangers
while his own ruination, a physical half-shell
emotional snakes and ladders
Ever courageous through – always the light-hearted of the herd
not quite nerdy but an intellect (of sorts)
a man of letters
sometimes “too many notes”
Poured from the gravy boat of left-overs
the wannabe saviour swims to rescue the damsel
whom he knows will know better
she’s seen his ilk before
all shining armour, will tarnish given time
those cathedral etchings from years gone by
with the sunlight shining from his mouth
spouting poetry from centuries past
nary an original thought will develop from what’s left
of his imagination
dulled by realities of daily news
The saviour has pledged allegiance
an honour to truth both unspoken and said
a respect for taking turns
to laugh, cry or feel nothing sometimes
The damsel knows he can’t make up his mind
about much at all.
If he can’t save his own life – how the hell will
he ever pretend to prop hers
Huh – some hero.
When we look in the mirror some days - it doesn't shine as brightly as it does on others. Not a dullness but - reality (?)
A no hot-water turns Friday hotel frivolity into
“****-it” fortune and we just wanna’ go home
Burned toast with hard margarine, returns of
peanut butter and honey
makes most of morning’s breakfast
plugged sewers back toilets up non-serviceable
the bus is late, and the garage band sound-track is far too loud
conversation is inaudible, speed detrimental
spirit now dented
Stressors of first steps toward tomorrow’s last long look at love lost
bright financial future seeming more like
rainy Sunday afternoons
I needed a giggle more than ever
from you dear friend, a simple text
proved enough to lighten the load, broaden the smile
put it all into perspective while looking forward to our
one day together.
One of those days that starts out like crap - and we look at it in perspective and MUST make the most of the day we're left with. Play the hand we're dealt so to speak. One kind word or a good giggle from a friend can turn perception into reality.
Run away with me like we wanted to
when were twelve
toss it all to join my circus
we’ll see the world through rose coloured glasses
we bought from the dollar store
on our way past the thrift shop
Steal away my time, like you have
in my dreams
necking near the water’s edge
making love in hotel rooms vacated by vagrants
with ***** linen
and empty plastic mickey bottles
Spend a day with me, unplanned, uncharted
we’ll *** cigarettes to pretend we smoke
dine in a fancy establishment and spend the last
of our sixty-four dollars and twelve cents
tax and tip included
reminding each other what it’s like to just enjoy
enjoy the day free of what freedom takes away when
freedom isn’t free
Take a moment with me, breathe in fresh new friendships
hug one another like we mean it
look into one-another’s eyes for so long, it reminds us that we have
but this moment.
Spent a summer with a terrific woman who had the *****, sense of humour and drive I had ever hoped for. Our lives got in the way but - for those brief moments on that warm summer afternoon........aahhhh....