I loved someone with blinded eyes
with a blinded heart.
was it all a convenience?
even when you held me telling me i was everything to you.
was your love for me ever true and real?
went in head over heels blindly into a relationship that was never going to make it.
The black haired beauty sits in the corner of her room.
within the faded blue pale walls.
pain and memories scream at her, deafening her to a white constant noise.
the strange boy comes home late, from a long day at work he walks over  to an empty bed, and  he collapses on top of it, as he closes his eyes, her image comes to his mind. he wondered about her, he was too shy to call her. or text her. he didn't know what to say to her, and why he had ghosted on her. let alone now this surprising, out of the blue call. it would seem like something else.
he didn't have enough courage to tell her, he was in love with her.
he loved her in silence. from such a distance.
In most nights, the beauty lay awake not being able to sleep. she was at war with the insomnia that battle her endlessly.
she had heard that when you can't sleep at night, it means someone cannot  stop thinking about you, or someone was dreaming about you.
she wondered if that were true, she wondered who it was?
somehow from all the exhaustion, somewhere in the night, she fell asleep. dreaming a vivid nightmare that jolted her, making her body jerk. she mid open her eyes, signing. she rolled her eyes thinking
that dream catcher isn't doing it's job.
the next few months, progress  begin to mold the girl.
she finds distractions that occupied her full attention, as for the strange boy moved further away. Day by day he thinks of her, and remembers the last time they were together, in his silence he continues to love the beauty that he hopes one day his wish comes true to see her, and hold her tight. never letting her go.
destiny will find a way for these two ;)

to be continued...

Under the cancer star
i wish you well.
under the cancer moon,
i bid you adieu.
under the cancer sun,
you better run.

*********
*Debajo de la estrella del cáncer
te deseo lo mejor.
debajo de la luna del cáncer,
Te digo adiós.
debajo de la estrella del cáncer,
ama a dios.
"In between the darkness, the girl was closer to the light.
----------------------------------------------------------­----------------
we were two strangers fondling with the elements of love.
i knew better.
my own fault."
---------------------------------------------------------­---------

"I've got my many birds up in the skies,
Can't you see! their my pairs of eyes!"
----------------------------------------------------------­-------
there's a saying
"never make wood out of the fallen tree"
oops to late.
-----------------------------------------------------------­
it's winter in her heart but her mind is in summer mode. however, her feelings towards the strange boy is in full spring blossom"
--------------------------------------------------------­----------------------
and just like that, she quietly threw in the towel. giving up on a ghost of a man. why did she hang on?
not sure, but whatever the given reason, she's now grown past that chapter."
-------------------------------------------------------­-----------
" i was once called 'an angel'.
funny, you should see that angel now.
-(she-devil)
-----------------------------------------------­------------
"the blacked haired beauty doesn't break any plates."
someone said.
(yeah she fucking does even the glasses of wines and oh yeah the Christmas ornaments too!)
-watch your back with her
-------------------------------------------------------------­
'Sometimes it feels like i'm drowning' i said.
"um, maddie that's cause we're in the pool"
jade spoke.
-overdramatic (me)
------------------------------------------------------------­--
hands be still.
eyes search in others what i can't find.
Only the winds around this time seem familiar.
so i return to the dark, where I've been these past months, not wanting to let in the light. it's too soon.
the dark is my only true solace, where i can cope and cry the girl that died months ago.
------------------------------------------------------------­------
crying aliments the soul.
it purifies it.
freeing your inner hell.
------------------------------------------
<3
my new style of free writing.
hope you like it
thank you.
<3 maddz
Maddie M Jun 11
6.
Mind games
lots of them,
In a split second
everything changed.
your mind games are hard to escape.
Especially when your eyes are locked with mine.
it's unraveling
i feel the icy cold stare to my bones.
but i can't say no.
willingly I'm yours.
you know how to highlight my weakness.
you know how to trigger my pain.
and soften me up when I get all tough.
toughening up just for you to shoot me right back down.
Your my own personal devil with all those mind games that i fucking hate.
because you know that i love you.
and that part....is the loveliest part to you.
you use it against me. taking advantage of me every chance you get.
Maddie M May 24
Somewhere in the woods
watching the night skies.
roasting marshmallows in the bonfire.
cricket sounds.
bottle of wine and bottle of tequila. (empty)
laying under the tent, you build.
talking about the future.
thinking about us.
you holding my hand.
sweaty palms.
in my head
our interlude
slides into our fade out.
our wanderlust where we found each other, is the reason why we  keep each other close.
just for tonight, under the live full stars, in the middle of the woods.
when we were on fire.
we picked it up so high.
we were frighten, and scared of the intensity of our love.
so we started out with
late night chats.
long road trips.
nightly cravings.
incomplete we both felt, when we were miles away.
never wanting to let go of what we had.
a beautiful, disastrous relationship.
is what we both agreed on.
the beautiful part being me.
and the disaster part being you.
we laughed hours, because it was true.
                               our relationship is/was like the woods.
                               because we left our relationship in the dark.
                               it's still there. this is how you ended it.
                               i respected you, and even when you threw my love away, you executed it all. this lies in your conscious not mine.
at least i sleep good at night.  how have you been sleeping?
<3  </3
Maddie M May 24
cut all of my hair off.
dye it a different color.
changed my name.
to something you hate.
it sounds like the mourning sounds of dead lament.
moved to another city.
to unleashed my inner self pity.
wearing my broken heart,
like a sad attire.
lonely, my old familiar good friend.
comes to stay, to an extended visit.
in a sea of people in this big alien city.
i feel the most lonely.
sunset isn't orange and yellow anymore.
to me, it's purple, with black spots of red.
soon, i'll be found.
just takes some time.
to get adjusted to the feeling of knowing
we are  never getting back together.
i'm in denial.
if you ask me.
"do you want him back?''
there's a 100% chance of me lying.
not to you, but lying to myself.....

i'm in ruins.
what the hell am i suppose to do?
memories flood in back with spoon feds of flashbacks.
and their driving me insane.
all the spots we used to go,
now i hate, to an extended point where
i avoid them.
face the facts,
but i ignore them.
funny thing is that my mind has a  mind of it's own.
it thinks it sees you in other people.
in moving cars.
in homes.
in parks.
i'm pathetic
and a stupid girl.

i'm unrecognizable.
, yet a silly fool for love.
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