I am in love,
but lord knows if it’s real.
She is the most beautiful creature,
her heart is what I wish to steal.
But I am unsure,
if she is for me,
so I try to compare,
and fail every time.
This fate is too wicked.
Can’t you be mine?
If not, then how come?
You are what I dearly want,
and I will treat you with forever care and compassion.
You are everything to me…
or is it everything I am hoping to become?

Is she my escape...
I already have too many,
that “reality” is starting to morph
into an object of envy.
An object that I can never afford,
but always admire from afar when my heart is heavy.

I am unable to swim up and take in that breath of positivity
So I let go and let myself drift in my newly created reality

Part 1

Weary of always looking up,
of always ******* up,
of always chasing after Tranquilty.

She is one step in front of me,
and regardless of how much I shout at my legs to run,
she will always be one step in front,
so I plea and plea and plea.
“ Don’t leave me untouched”.
She does not reply for she refuses to see,
all of the agony that clutched onto me.

Constantly I am running,
I am chasing,
I extend my arm out,
and beg for her to take my hand,
but she doesn't even look behind.
I trip over Pride and Repetity and I fall
Oh she is so unkind.

I close my eyes as my body greets the floor.
Tumble down and bumble into a wall.
I do not wish to do this anymore.

Strength is what I desire,
Strength is what I need to acquire.
This so called Anxiety Wall, is 6 feet tall.
So I simply lay and recall,
a life that was never mine.

Over time,
the wall seems to grow,
is it due to my own design?