She's the only one I want,
But she can't see me,
I tell her how I feel,
But she can't hear me,
I know she means no wrong,
But heavy is my heart,
Knowing that through time,
We'll forever be apart,
I try to move on,
But she's the only one I see,
I only wish that one day,
With her I could be,
I'd give her all my love,
'Cause she means the world to me,
But to her I'm invisible,
And that's all I'll ever be.

I don't wanna feel anything anymore,
All I want is to be numb,
I lie awake in bed at night,
Hoping that death will come,
Already held on for so long,
To a sliver of hope,
But I've run out of ways,
To help myself cope,
The pain is too strong,
I push out my last breath,
It's finally here,
The one they call death.

Laying down, I open my eyes,
Looking up to clear black skies,
Something is wrong, I'm short of breath,
Is this what it's like to experience death?
I try to move, but I'm stuck,
I scream for help, but have no luck,
Away my flesh begins to rot,
And those who cared have since forgot,
It seems that now I am truly gone,
But truth is, I've been here all along.

I want someone who I can call my home,
I want a woman who is all my own,
Someone who I can find happiness in,
So that even if I lose, I always win,
I'd give her my heart and all my love,
And when we kiss, I'd be in heaven above,
But is the one out there for me?
Or is by myself the way it's meant to be?

I haven't been truly happy since 2014,
But 2017 is the year it all went wrong,
Started out in summer,
On vacation in New Orleans,
Woke up to find that someone I admired,
Someone I looked up to had killed himself,
Ever since then,
I've felt numb,
Back at college with some of my friends,
At least that's what I thought then,
Treated me like a ******* servant or slave,
Haven't spoken to any of them since,
The end of the year,
The final nail in this cold dark coffin,
Can't remember when I was last happy,
Ended a relationship with someone I had loved,
Maybe it's because I wasn't happy anymore,
Or maybe I was afraid,
Afraid of her waking up and not finding me,
But a suicide note instead,
Now it's a new year,
I tell myself it won't be as bad,
And so far I've been right,
But last year,
Everything bad,
Happened over halfway through...

Alone at night,
Door is shut,
Giving myself,
These ****** cuts,
I wake up,
Blinds are shut,
Turn on the light,
Red dry cuts,
Cover them up,
Mask my pain,
Even though,
Tears fall like rain,
At nightfall,
I still have scars,
New cuts cover,
Where old ones are.

I climbed all the way to the top,
Just wanting the pain to stop,
Jump so that you snap your neck,
And your life will no longer be a wreck,
Looking down as lights go by,
Only having motivation to die,
Just one step and you'll be free,
Leaving behind only debris,
A bottle of pills in my hand,
Life is not what I had planned,
Swallow them to stop your heart,
So that the end can finally start.