.
You are there,
stalking my memories,
a series of pornographic tapestries
woven deep into my mind,
Hand stitched together
with a cold blunt needle,
threatening to unravel fast
when the sun kisses the horizon.

The petals of paper flowers
yellow with time passing,
presenting a weathered view
of a love that once thrived,
but is now moon dust
gathering on a dark web
of lust laced
with delicate ****** fragments.



© Pagan Paul (25/08/18)

LIFE OF A GIRL

She gets up in the morning worried and messed up,
The mood is hot and flared up,
Today is the annual day and she is not ready,
With manicured, pedicured nails,
And with skin brushed to shine,
How to did she even forget to wash her hair?
The worries shows in the frizz of her hair,
Off she runs to shampoo on chilled winter morning.. Cold is the last thing to deter her today...
She has to be best, the most beautiful...She echoes..
Oh! She is so self obsessed careless yet careful teenager around...!!!

She enters the college with dreams and colors all around,
She can't repeat yellow she wore it on Monday,
Jeans, Shorts, Skirts - ankle length, knee and thigh,
Traditional or not is the fight with mom all the while,
Purses of various colors, shapes and sizes,
Shoes to fit each out fit add up each day,
Watches have thr day too,
With ear ring tossed in the loss of a stud,
With necklace rejected as it's gold not silver,
Nail color should change every alternate day..
Oh! She is so self obsessed careless yet careful girl around..!!

The marriage mellows her down a bit,
With duties to perform, with office to attend,
She still can't repeat a dress in a week,
And nail colors too have to change each week,
But purse remain same barring occasions,
And shoes also have to go for comfort of the day,
Yet in all her small ways
She tries to find that carefree moment of her life,
The life when she is she and not what is expected of her..!!

Kids bring another angle to her story,
The task is humongous, the responsibility huge,
The hair is always frizzled, the eyes sleep deprived,
Yet she manages to bring her she side out,
She maintains her  composure but is deeply worried,
All her flawless skin, her nails, her figure,
Have gone for a infinite  ride, a vacation, a break,
She doesn't throw her old clothes away,
Rather tries to fit in high school jeans be proud to feel she can indeed fit and enter...
Oh!  she is so self obsessed care free yet careful girl around!!!

The I Must Too foreign tour is round the corner,
Her self obsessed brain tickles oh! just four months to go,

She has to invite back her hair, nail and figure,
Plead, Beg, Order whatever she can BUT to have them back she must..

She plans out it's never too late,
Starts with yoga and aerobics too,
Green tea is a part of her life whole day now,
Compliments are coming and she is overjoyed
With new found glory she is queen again,

Tours have to must have 'shorts pic', and a 'Frock pic'  and a 'running around with kids' pic for sure ,
The fact that husband has aged, bald,and *** -bellied doesn't even scare...
Oh! What a self obsessed carefree yet careful girl she is!!

Things that keep her strong are,
The taunts that come along...
From high school till today she grew up on them,
They are the multivitamin and have been that way,
Will they only see you? they ask,
And she is sure they will, they always did...
With all the tasks,the deadlines and the kids growing,
She reminds herself she is still the queen,
She cannot forget and move on as this is she that she has grown on...
Ageing doesn't scare her as she is still beautiful in her own eyes,
"Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder" they say,

She is you, she is me,
she is the daughter born yesterday, and the daughter who will born tomorrow, and she is the grand mother too...

Oh! She is so self obsessed carefree girl anyone ever did see...!!!

Sparkle in Wisdom

I know why the caged bird sings.

It's not because his song
is as vibrant
as his feathers, that he plucks away
each day because he doesn't
feel beautiful.

It's not because of the majesty
that exist in the freedom
of being able to spread his wings
though he knows
he'll never rise to the occasion.

He sings because he believes
that this cage
was made for a king
because he has never tasted
freedom with a side order of skies.

He's never flown past the sun
on a cool morning
or hung with the moon
on a warm night.

He's only ever known
the comfort of a prison
that his thoughts have
become accustomed
to calling home.

He would never venture
beyond the "welcome" mat
because what's beyond the threshold
holds no promise
the way these bars and metal locks do.

He sings because he knows
that no one is listening
so if he makes a mistake
he doesn't have to live with the regret
or embarrassment of knowing that he missed his note.

The caged bird
never believes that he's caged
because behind these walls
he's safe
and he prefers it this way.

I know why the caged bird sings.

The rumbling
in my chest and feet.

Dark green against dark gray.

Cloud and tree line meet.

Chilly breeze.
Swaying trees.

A shiver
Down my spine.

Anticipation.

Blinding flash.
Deafening crash.

Spray on my face.

Clean.
Refreshed.

Many things anew.

I love it when it rains.


~August 30, 2001

Mastmaula - The happy go lucky little turtle

On the beaches of Konkan
Lived a few families of turtles
For ages it has been their home .

Amongst them lived Mastmaula a young and adventurous turtle
To explore the surroundings he loved, popular and lovable , a friend to all .
Many a times he would stray away and had to be fetched by the elders in the group .

He loved visiting  the homes of the fishermen who lived by the sea.
Particularly fond of cabbage fed by the fisherwomen .

Amusingly he was also fond of music .
And loved to dance

The fishermen went fishing by the day
And would celebrate  the catch and their life by evenings .
Music played  and seafood savoured in almost every home.

Mastmaula was sure to visit, the fisherman 's house when there used to be a party.
One of the evenings , there was one going on in one of the houses , music was loud with party lights on.
And ,the food yes cabbage in colours, purple and green ,
Mastmaula knew would sure be part of the menu.

The fisherman's family had guests coming from afar
The occasion , an engagement ceremony .
As the music went on , Mastmaula went turtle and began to spin.
And sure he did have a few amazing moves , which caught the guests' eyes
And one of them ,fancied  carrying Mastmaula to their home.
The host opposed but the guest's  7 year old daughter Mili loved Mastmaula and wanted him to be part of her family . The host reluctantly obliged.

Soon , it was dark and a bale of turtles were out to fetch back Mastmaula home. They knew where to  find him.
Reaching the party venue and not finding him there they panicked and soon swelled in numbers.

The fishermen family knew it was time to call their guest ,who had taken away  Mastmaula .
The guest hurriedly came back with Mastmaula in a little basket and placed him down .
Mastmaula was overjoyed to reunite with his family and promised them all that he would never stray away and be careful of his visits alone to the fishermens homes.

Ever wondered what raw beauty is?
I feel it now, I understand it now.
I don't like sweet people
All coated in best sugary dips
Like the artificial flavoured ones.

Rather I prefer now the raw bitterness
At least it's not coated or artificial
It's raw and honest
No matter how much it hurts
At least it is what it is
Love to taste the raw bitterness
With beauty within intact in it.