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bymslu Nov 2017
clearing up trails
taking down signs
why are you making me get lost for you
what's this pleasure you find in me losing myself to find you

to know you

that parts of me have to be left behind
what is this you hide that all of me is not required to see

to recognise

in a crowd of figures
doing the same thing
I  think  you think you got me...
bymslu Feb 2019
thanks to the basketful of maybe's
i collected
when we were one
it would seem
i'd be well equipped to deal
with the next one's indecisiveness

oh well.
bymslu Mar 2018
The first time

was when I was walking down the street
alone
filtering through my thoughts, like I do
minding my own business, like I do
when your scent found my nose
through
street sewages & the dancing of the
trees,
wind
it jolted me, disturbed my personal missions
after which I turned around
in hopes that I would find you around me
so I could confront you face-to-face
instead, I was left to tilt my nose up at a degree lesser than my dignity
as I tried to follow the trail of your scent back to where it came from
only to get lost  .
...he's still out there
bymslu Mar 2018
The second time

was at a celebration of souls
where creesed-up eye lids were adorned
with laughter and teeth confettied all around
i
in the midst of the vibe
had my mouth open in accordance with the dance of laughter
when your scent found my tongue
through conversations, amplified throat vibrations
it took a while to savour you flavour
for me to feel

"oh
its you again. "

i tried to spit you out like I do with the rest of them
but I didn't.
i couldn't.
you seeped into my conscious, strongheld my reasoning
and I still don't know who you are
what you are
how you are doing this
i'm just left blinded to everyone
and focused on feeling you
bymslu Nov 2017
i have no problems with your light.
truely, my problems stay away from your light.
more-so to dodge your sight
your attention to detail
that has you judging them,
befriending them
and inviting them to every conversation you have with me.

they'd much rather give into the darkness
its where they
glow and stick
out from the rest of the particles hidden hostage in the darkness.
well,
there's intimacy here.
testifying to walls with unconditional secrecy
there's validation here.
with shame and awkward locked outside by security
there's freedom here,
a conversation unlike yours,
for confessions to undress lies and opinions
peeling them away to address the truth . . .
Conversations with myself over conversations with you
bymslu Mar 2018
do you know nothing of obeying your roots

and not going wherever the wind blows

instead

setting standards and restricting movements with the wind

to show just how bending

is more truthful

than breaking .
bymslu Nov 2018
serendipity

i dip in and out

i made a home of the 9th cloud

except the happiness i found leaked out

and spilt outside of the silver linings
..
bymslu Nov 2018
serendipity

i've dipped in and out

the mountains i thought i moved took back their strength

and in the taking,
cracked open the ground

leaving me off-balance than before

yes, i should've fought back but


serendipity

i stay dipping in and out

there's no such thing as control

no such thing as handled

a loose grip

had me falling through the cracks
and as i fell onto hard times

the darkness welcomed me

so i stayed

. . .
bymslu Jul 2018
still
i sat and watched him
try
to lift the heavy pieces of me
then try to break them up into smaller portions
but he couldn't
so i offered him my strength
as he does, he rejected it and swapped me with

"it's fine, i can handle it"

rubbing the tolerance onto his hands

"it's fine, i can handle you"
his pain? he thought he knew masculinity
bymslu Nov 2018
i smiled .

i found it funny
that I made all the sense to him in the beginning

but now
i've blinded him
with all that is wrong with me .
i thought you saw me , i thought you knew .
bymslu Dec 2017
the Truth

its with kind regards
that you've been asked to avail yourself
excuse yourself
from our crying festivals and internal ridicules of should-have's,
to make an honest revelation of yourself.
i'd understand if you've gotten lost along the way
or forgotten the directions;
its been a while since your presence was requested
its just that right now
i’d really appreciate your attendance to the vulnerability.

i know you’ve noticed
i’ve conversed with tribes opposite to you long enough
i’ve testified against your whispers.
yes, its done nothing
but heighten my complexities and insecurities,
and disrupt my rhythm.
the rhythm I thought I could dance to on my own
without you taking the lead
or setting the record straight.
i’m sorry:
the times I stood you up
the unwanted plus one’s
the cancelled reservations,
but know that this one here
is just you and i
a table for two
and a serving of unseasoned confessions.

let me know when you can make it. . .
underestimating the presence of a guest . . a guest you thought would always be around
bymslu Nov 2017
We were never them
their glass would shatter and scatter
when hard times came
but you and i
we may have cracked
but our shortcomings became masterpieces
artefacts
of what we used to be,
celebrations of what we weren't:

then we fell
through the same cracks we celebrated
and nothing broke our fall
so we floated,
drifting
in disbelief, we gazed at each other
where a thrashing ocean of emotions
pierced our stare,
a draining era
that left us like them,
shattered
and scattered.
. . .when we happened to us.

— The End —