in the morning light
your arms are warm
breath is soft
face is calm
oh, how lucky
to wake next to an angel

Sometimes I feel like its written on my face
Every staring eye gives me a jolt
Worry and panic fill every empty space
And I wonder if its all my fault

Sometimes surrounded by people I feel very alone
Why do they look at me?
One moment I’m content, the next I’m thrown
Its like this stranger can see all the insecurity

Sometimes even when I’m happy, I’m sad
I love myself and my life and yet
Something creeps in, something slightly bad
I need the time to breathe, the time to reset

Sometimes I’m sure all eyes are on me
And everyone is thinking something lowly
But I remind myself the outside is all they can see
And I keep these feeling to “sometimes” only

hearts beat, faster, faster
thighs bracketed around his waist
kisses clipped short because you just can't breathe enough air
he's holding you with his arms
But you're holding him with everything you are

We were blissfully unaware that it was a beginning,
I could see the stars reflected in your blazing blue eyes.
You turned and smiled and I swear my heart started singing,
you became my destiny, the sun in my sky.

I could see the man you would become and the world you would build,
and I knew I would do anything to live in that world with that man.
I fought beside you, you left me thrilled,
you were justice, you were morality, you had a plan.

You dreamed of equality and peace, something I defended ardently.
I did what I could, I may have even saved your life.
But I was only a mirror of your greatness, a shadow made to play my part silently.
You trusted me, I was your best friend, but I hid my hearts inner strife.

I loved you, I still love you, I will always love you.
But I couldn’t seem to say it, to let you see the truth in me.
In my eyes you were golden, I fell to my knees before you.
You were my king and by your side my heart was free.

But now, your gold has faded to white. Your stillness is so startlingly new.
I see no stars reflected for your eyes are eternally closed.
I feel no warmth when I press my forehead to yours, my dearest friend.
You asked me to hold you close in my arms, and you left this world.
And I am painfully aware that this is an end.

The goal has always been skinny.
I thought fat was the only thing wrong with me.
There's so many people I told myself I'd lose weight for,
because in my mind, skinny makes them like you more.

Every time I wanted to cry at the dressing room reflection,
I felt that thigh chafing, muffin-topped imperfection.
I'd like to think I'm different, stronger now.
But I'm not. I'd like to stop caring, I don't know how.

At least I've learned if I do lose weight it shouldn't be for them, he, she
It should be for a happier and healthier me.

I am tired.
Being the person I've created for myself is overwhelming.
I am tired.
Every day I give every interesting piece of myself to others.
There is nothing left for me when I get home.

He looks at me, with eyes bluer than the waves frothing over our heads.
He smiles at me, more radiant than the sun that shines down on us.
He holds me, tighter than the wind the encases our bodies as we walk along the shore.

I fall asleep to the sound of crashing waves and a clear steady heartbeat.
I fall asleep to the smell of brine and sunscreen slathered skin.
I fall asleep to the overwhelming feeling of happy.

Im waiting
i'm waiting for even just one word
from you

continuing to drink
just hoping to hear from you
in a world where one click of a button can bring your face to mine

i love you
i miss you
where are you

she falls into his arms
longing for connection
she doesn't listen to a word he says
absorbing the attention
she's beautiful but does not believe it
she needs him to prove it

he leaves her flowers at the door
while she makes love to another
a different man for every meal to eat
but it never goes much further

I could save her the time and tell her the truth
that no matter who she is with
they will never make her feel whole
whatever she's missing comes from within