Lily X

Dec 2017

Sylvia Plath

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

Lily X Dec 2017

Bare

Strip me down
To my rawest form.
To my browns and oranges.
A copper silhouette.

Peel me away
Till I’m standing there
With averted gaze.

Leave me bare.

Strip me down
Shed all my layers, till I’m
Just a component.

Make me an idea,
In its first happening.
A dream yet to be realised.

Look at me,
Honestly,
Unguarded.

In my essence,
Am I good?

#bare #raw #alone #essence #good

Lily X Dec 2017

Laughing/Crying

Have you ever noticed that, if you close your eyes, a laugh can sound like someone crying?

I’m not laughing.
Open your eyes.

Can’t seem to write much recently.

#sad #poetry #alone #upset #laugh #cry

Lily X Nov 2017

Hurt

I wake up aching.
Most days.
My body sore from bruises camouflaged as smiles.
Sore from the elephant that has found its home on my chest.
Aching from my lead-filled heart and my poisoned arteries.
But my body is persistent.
It grips onto life with its bony claws, grasping pathetically at signs of hope.

Just give up already.

For a friend who thought they were alone.

#depression #life #death #hope

Lily X Nov 2017

And Yet, I Still Want You

You’re everywhere.

I hate it. But I can’t help it.

You’re behind me in my own reflection.
You’ve stained the walls of my own house with your scent.
Your mark is left on every love heart scribbled on a sticky note.

I still have them.

Your memory plagues my vision.
I can’t go out without you in my mind, strong as the taste of blood on my tongue.

My anger flows hot and white, but not at you.
At myself, for being such a fool.

And yet, I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

I really am a fool.

#love #everywhere #relationships #heartbreak #breakup #fool #longing #loss #grief #memory

Lily X Nov 2017

Hollowing

Parts of me are leaking, spilling onto the floor like dark ink.
Those that can see avoid it like the Black Death.
Maybe they’re the clever ones.

But I see you, your hands stained dark as night.
The brightness in your eyes is the only light I can see; a beacon.

I watch as your tinted hands wrap around my exposed heart.
At first, I misunderstand. Think the light is a twinkle when it is a glint.

And then you squeeze.

#love #darkness #ink #black #metaphor #hurt #relationship #heartbreak