In the beginning your beauty is beyond compare
At first they smile and stare
Say the sweetest words and strip you bare
Dig you in deep
Make promises impossible to keep
Entwine your body into your story
Gently open the door to your secrets
Tell you they’ll keep it in raspy whispers
In your ear
And the bricks start to rattle and crack
And you fall a little
Letting the dust hit your back
Inevitably they see one crumble
And you think to yourself
Should I jump or stumble?
Underneath you already know what happens when they see below
the light and the darkness starts to show
Worthless words melt like snow
Swells the undertow
And takes it all far down below
Where it fades and crumbles the paper
It was built upon
And burns the rocks
That cool over time
To make the bricks
I stack
Until next time

Your beauty is purgery
Night is my destiny
Sit still
Take a rest in me
Lie to the best of me
Your beauty is purgery
Fine lines for your sugery
Cut out time and insert energy
For waste of space and pleasure erase what you want to be
This distance is growing 180 degrees
What you can clearly see
Never is a promise of complacency
Your beauty is purgery

Into the fire
Through the ash
The cancer has spread
Into the past
Let it run like the river
Down down
The time is now
Hot like a fever
Chilled to the bone
Direction uncertain
Future unknown
Let it burn like a fire
Let it burn to the ground
The time is now
Sleep with the devil
Bathe in the light
Keep the ground below you
Be one with the night
Let it fall like the rain
Let it baptize the pain
The time is now

I miss you
I want you
I need you
I know what I'm good at
I know how to touch you
I know how to tease you
We have been together countless times
I could please you in the dark with my hands tied
But you don't want me anymore
Yet I still try
So I pulled some tricks and I saw another side
Gone was gentle
Gone was sweet
I saw your darkness and it made me cry
You take off yours clothes
Is this what you want?
In my head I'm terrified
What have I done
I just wanted to feel you one more time
But not like this
This isn't you
Your lips once soft are crushing me
Your eyes once filled with desire are burning an angry fire
Your hands once exploring are pushing and pulling me
I can't stop you
I miss you but this isn't you
I want you but your not here
I need you but this isn't fair
Your a stranger and you don't seem to care

I sit, shaking
Wanting to run
I know the answers to the questions on your clipboard
But the words won't come
This is the vessel to better
They said
But how do I give form to the demons and ghosts that live in my head?
How I yearn to die
But I have to survive
For them
Your words swirl and vibrate the floor
I tell you something but you want more
The abuse and feeling small
And how I went years without feeling at all
I did things to push everyone away
I knew when they knew the truth they would just look at me in that way
Pity and fake understanding
And when you see true darkness it makes itself stay
I want to get better
But how do you  
When you have never been okay?

Red Bottom Line

Cement for a head
Sealed up just right
To feel the weight of the mind
To keep nothing in sight
Tell me I'm wrong
Tell me what I need to be strong
They are looking to me
To find a way to stand
A way to pick up the weight and carry them out
But I can't see
You took my ability
Dark heavy night after
Dark heavy night
I will look for a light
I will look for a sign
I will look for anything to draw me in and pull me out
From this red bottom line

Tree tops
Are you lonely?
Do you long for someone to climb high enough to touch you?
You see things no one else can
You feel the heat and take the brunt of every rain drop
The wind thrashes you wildly
Yet your so beautiful
You look just as strong
Yet the first to be cut down
Where do you get your strength?