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Apr 2020 · 394
Silence, an affliction.
Dlusionl13 Apr 2020
Silence
It's a haunting melody, something unheard
In the echoes of scorching words
And the ringing memories of violence
In the sound of shattering dreams and broken glasses
It's the trembling sigh of a soul undeterred
Like the searing quietness of a cry perturbed
In an aftermath of the storm
Its a silent silent world

Affliction
It's the demise of love, an illusion
In the game of duties and responsibilities
As the world hanging on by lies burns down
A poignant smile of content blooms
On the lips of a crumbled spirit
And amidst the destruction
A vindictive soul stays
Maybe it was not affection or concern
But just a sweet sweet retribution
:)
Mar 2020 · 254
Another ride
Dlusionl13 Mar 2020
If you want to ride with me
You have to drive this car my friend
Because if I am going to drive
We are going to crash
And this is going to end

Tell me if u are going to drive
How much longer can we go on
Before you get tired of everything
Before you think you chose wrong
Before this ends?
Because you drive too fast
And we both know that this will never last.

So, find another ride my friend
For we are doomed from the start
You drive too fast and I too rash
If we end up in the same car
We are bound to crash.
Feb 2020 · 223
A blue curse
Dlusionl13 Feb 2020
I curse you
Everytime you see blue
Be it a word or a hue
Be it the sky or sea
You will be reminded of me.

The grey world you are trapped in
Made you blind
To the colors of the ones who care
The coldness that you radiate
Clashed with the fieriness of my blue flair
And now we are strangers again
Like everything was in vain.
You said you wouldn't leave
Another fake promise I believed
How come all my friendships come to an end
With no chances to amend..

Your silence hurts more than their words
It's raining in my silent world
You aren't there
But I will stay here
With a curse of the blue songbird.
Aug 2019 · 285
Your satisfaction
Dlusionl13 Aug 2019
It's not a calming greeting of gentle breeze
But the harsh touch of violent wind
That serene smile of relief in your eyes
At the expense of my dreams.

It's not the warmth of moonlight
But the scathing burn of raging sunlight
That sated feeling you radiate
After changing the lane of my life.

It's not the silence of a calm sea
But the loud gurgling of an untamed river
That joy u seem to glow in
As the roots of my passion slowly wither

For you it maybe a dream
You want to see me in
For me it's a nightmare
I am going to be trapped in.
Sep 2018 · 324
My world
Dlusionl13 Sep 2018
I am waiting here
In this dark mirage of oblivion
To see the end of you
I am smiling now
Amidst the storms and thunder of betrayal
At the sight of fearful you

Welcome to this absolute destruction
My dear long lost friend
I am the Satan
And this is my hell
I am it's ruler
This dangerous, vicious universe
It's my world my pain
It's an enchanting curse

In that sea of tears
I want to see you drown
In that fire of hate
I want to see you burn
Trapped in that land of nightmares
I want to watch you run

I want to see you terrified
In that forest of fears
I want to see you lost
In that city of drear
I want you to experience
How it feels like to lose everyone near

Beware of that vengeful storm
Fear the wrath of that suffering hurricane
Shattered pieces of trust in that rain
Should be enough to **** you in pain

Experience those frightening hallucinations
Feel that self hatred
Admire that volcano there
It's not only anger but also dread

I want you to feel everything
I have felt for years
I want you to see the world
I have lived in for years
This world is not intimidating only to you
It also holds my worst fears

You are trapped here now
There's nothing you can do
I am not  the only evil here
You my friend are too
For I may have created this hell
But the reason was you
Revised and republished
Sep 2018 · 6.4k
Friendship in Flowers..
Dlusionl13 Sep 2018
It’s a bond formed with thousands and thousands of hours
It’s a friendship adorned like a bouquet of flowers

A cluster of yellow roses
For the companionship that bloomed
Or a bunch of chrysanthemums
For the wholehearted support during the adversities that loomed

A few irises
An unsaid message of dedication
With some violets
  A proof of everlasting devotion

And pink carnations
A promise to never forget each other
Plus some hydrangea
A gratitude for being understood in spite of our soul bearing different colors

Some blue tulips
For the genuine loyalty
A vow to never leave
And of course ivy
A promise of continuity of the wonderful friendship
That we will definitely achieve
Dedicated to my best friend
Jul 2018 · 805
Unfortunate quandary
Dlusionl13 Jul 2018
Standing alone in the screens of darkness
She is the only witness
As her world spirals down in the void
She is the lonely one drifting away in  nothingness

Running away from the shadows of the demons, she hides
She is the slave of blissful lies
As she is slaughtered by them
Her mind is fading away in her silent cries

She is living in that hell
Death she cannot claim
Because for her the reasons to live
And the reasons to die are all the same
Jun 2018 · 15.2k
Enchanted
Dlusionl13 Jun 2018
You are a powerful wizard
While I am a mere mage
Spellbound by your eyes
I am trapped in your cage

I am being held captive
In the beauty of your mystical mind
Lost in the spells of your charm
My spirit I am unable to find

Cursed I am by your magic
Wandering in the depths of the
darkness
Maybe yours maybe mine
Whose it is I cannot determine

Entangled is my fate
In the strings of your destiny
You are the healer of my thoughts
Saving me from my agony

Bewitched is my heart
Breaking by the spells you cast
Caged in the colours you hide
I am being punished by my past

Enchanted by you I am
The one reviled by all
But I see through your masks
You are drowning in your pain's rainfall

Enticed are our souls by each other
I hope this is not an another treachery
Because love for me
Was always a wicked sorcery
Jun 2018 · 950
Colours of you
Dlusionl13 Jun 2018
In your dark brown eyes
I see the dull skies
Trapped in your blue messed up mind
I can hear your hidden cries

On your pale pink lips
I can read the unsaid words
On the canvas of your black soul
I see your colour less world

In your bright ebony hair
I see the white of anxiety
In your tired grey brain
I can feel you drifting away from reality

In your faded brown scars
I see the pain inflicting silver
In your actions blinded by red
I see your spark losing its glimmer

Your palette is as dark as the shadows of my ink
I see the colours you hide
I see the rainbows of your soul
Disappearing in black holes of your mind

I feel the emotions you do
The shades of your thoughts and colours in between
I see all the strokes of you
For you and I are both the same colours of blue
Because my mind is the reflection of your heart
Because my soul is the same painting as that of you
Jun 2018 · 987
More than words...
Dlusionl13 Jun 2018
They are not just words
Nor are they a useless hobby that wastes time
Please get this in your head
They are not the reason for my failure
They are my quests to find pleasure

These words are the tears that never flowed
They are the emotions I never showed
They are the nightmares that never stop
They are the worlds I am a part of

They are the struggles I am going through
They are my destiny's battleground
They are the memories I want to ****
They are the frequencies that are all around

They are the ephemeral mirage I made
They are the hope that never fades
They are the secrets I never shared
They are the only pieces of me that aren't fake

They are the laughter lost in fights
They are the profound impacts of betrayal
They are my friends with different names
They are the only doctors that keep me sane
May 2018 · 557
The End Game
Dlusionl13 May 2018
Be the destruction
While I will be the tragedy
Destroy and ruin everything
Let's free this world from itself
Let's end all the misery.

Be the chaos
While I will be the calamity
A deadly combination of disorders and disasters
Let's rule this oblivion
Till the end of eternity.

Be the inferno
While I will be the lava
An entanglement of fire and magma
Let's burn everything in our flames
And ignite every volcano this universe claims
Till only ashes remain.

Be the grim reaper
While I will be the death's eye
The ruler of dark energies and the master of the death
We will be the deadly match made in hell
The extinction of life will be our story to tell.

Be the thunder
While I will be the tsunami
A fierce battle of lighting and hurricanes
As you shock the world to it's end
I will make sure the waves bury it's remains.

Be the last
While I will be the end
And be the ultimate players of this catastrophic game
So that you will be the contradiction
While I an exception
To this eccentric game of annihilation.
May 2018 · 452
Reasons why you left..
Dlusionl13 May 2018
Two lost souls we were when we met
With different issues and opposite frequencies
Yet we got along great
As time passed we found ourselves in each other
But now I lost myself again because you left.

I used to believe ' Actions speak louder than words '
But I guess you didn't
For they were not enough for you to stay
Because it was the first reason why you left

I know there were many confessions I should have made
Many problems I should have shared
To show you that I cared
But I thought the many things I did
Would be enough for you to see
That you had been one of my very few reasons to live.
But I think the words I never said erased everything I did.

I learned ' Words are sharper than the knife '
Because it was the second reason why you left my life.

But how can the words I said at my worst
Be enough for you to think I never cared
Be enough for you to forget everything
Making our bond rust.
Even if I was messed up I know I had no right to hurt you
I am sorry
But you had no right to turn our friendship into dust too.

It's funny how the reasons you left contradict each other in a bizarre way
It's funny how I again lost my way
But I  know I am the one to be blamed
For you left because of the words I never said   
For you left because of the words I never meant.
May 2018 · 572
Insane
Dlusionl13 May 2018
Lost it! Lost it!
I am going insane
In the battle ground of my demons
Crying in this ****** rain
I am losing my control all over again
Afraid! Afraid!
I am out of my mind
In these terrifying nightmares my happiness is being drowned in the blood
That is not mine

Danger! Danger!
I am in reigns of anger
Stay away from me if you value your life
This is not me
I am not in control of the knife
Awake! Awake!
I am here again
Burning in the consequences of their mistakes
Suffering for the things I never did
They are tightening their chains around my neck

Conscience! Conscience!
My soul is guilty
Of the sins I never did really
This is worse than the demons in my head
I am living the life of a dead
Sorry! Sorry!
I never did this
They are the masters of my mind
I cannot escape
I am in pain but I cannot save me
I am sorry please forgive me

Crazy! Crazy!
I am becoming deadly
I am being hypnotized losing my sanity  
Making everyone hate me
Ha ha I am being a monster
I always hated to be
Darkness! Darkness!
I am dead I cannot see
My demons have finally killed me
All the pain and battles were just a test
For in this hell my soul is Satan's favourite
I don't think I will ever be at rest
It's ok if u don't understand anything because that means u are perfectly sane :)
Dlusionl13 May 2018
Who are we to determine?
That white is pure while black is evil
When we are not black nor white but the grey in between
Who are we to define?
What is good and what is bad
When we are neither good nor bad but an adjective in between

Who are we to decide?
What is sane and what is insane
When we are not sane neither insane but a condition in between
Who are we to judge?
What is just and what is not just
When we are not God neither devil but  mere living beings in between
When we are not angels nor demons but a race in between

Who are we to give unfair treatment to animals?
When we are neither the best predator nor the worst prey but something in between
Who are we to determine?
What is sin and what is virtue
When we have the qualities in between

Who are we to determine?
What is truth and what are lies
When we always say something in between
How can we decide if we are living better or worse?
When we are not in heaven nor in hell but in a world in between
When we are neither in peace nor at war but a state in between

Yet we go on deciding, determining, judging and doing things
Destroying the harmony of the universe we live in
When will we understand that we are nothing
But an ignorant hypocritical species
Lost in between the extremes of everything
We as in majority of us
Apr 2018 · 516
Love of sun, earth and moon
Dlusionl13 Apr 2018
Sun, Earth or moon
Who are you sorrier for?

Moon, whose life revolves around earth
Who loves her night after night
Who changes his appearance everyday like a fool  
To enchant her mind which only sun rules..

Or Earth, whose world revolves around the sun
Who waits for his love day after day
Mindlessly casting shadows on the lovely moon
Waiting for the sun to say that she is beautiful..

Or Sun who is oblivious of the pain of celestial bodies revolving around him
Unaware of the hope of the earth and moon that he unknowingly creates and destroys
Lost in the stardust and clouds of milky way
Thinking he is a lonely soul
Not noticing that he is being attracted by a black hole..

One lost in someone
Who is lost in the other
And that other who is on the journey of self destruction
Loving and losing they are for someone they shouldn't
All are stuck in a pitiful situation..
I am sorry for other planets as well for sun unknowingly brings death on them while he brings life on earth



P.S - No offence to those who believe in eternal love of sun and moon or vice versa
Apr 2018 · 482
Forget you
Dlusionl13 Apr 2018
I will forget you for me
But I will never forgive you for you
Apr 2018 · 943
Life
Dlusionl13 Apr 2018
Maybe it's the space between the future and past
A multiple choice question with options between right and wrong
Or a pendulum swinging between joy and sorrow
I think it's the book we write our lyrics on
Maybe our circumstances decide if it must be a happy or a tragic song

Maybe it's the dimension existing with the duality of reality and imagination
A beautiful muffler woven with intricate threads of truths and lies
Or the transition of night from dusk to dawn colouring the canvas of skies between sunset and sunrise
I think it is the journey of a cloud from vapours to rain
Maybe our fate decides if it must be a shade of black or purely white
Mar 2018 · 346
A mistake
Dlusionl13 Mar 2018
You are saying
You can't understand me
Sorry but I am an open book
Maybe you find the script tiring to read
.
.
You are saying
I am overdramatic
Sorry but I am opposite of it
Maybe you fail to see that I am ok for a week
Maybe a small mistake on your part triggers the limit I have reached
And results in a raging blast
.
.
You are saying
I am pessimist
Sorry but I am a realist
Maybe I don't believe in sweet nothings
That you also don't mean
.
.
You are saying
I am fake
Sorry but it's just me trying to be the person this world expects me to be
Even if my smile is fake the effort behind it is true
It's me trying to be the one you want me to
.
.
You are saying
I am insane
Sorry but I prefer to call it unique
Because all are one too
But maybe I should not expect it from someone like you
.
.
.
You are saying
Everyone hates me and that you hate me too
Sorry but I know I became an outcast because of you
You never cared about me did you?
I trusted a wrong person
Before taking the leap I didn't look
Yeah it's my mistake
Because I forgot that we give the same attention to people we like as well as to people we hate
Maybe I saw something else in your hate
Mar 2018 · 337
If..
Dlusionl13 Mar 2018
If I die
Don't ever cry
Because maybe death would have been the only thing that sincerely loved me
Because maybe my life could have been a dangerous lie

If I end myself
Don't be sorry
It would never be your fault
For you loved me more than I deserved
If this happens don't ever feel guilty
Maybe i would have finally lost the ultimate battle with me
Because maybe I would have been the sole artist of my pain
Because maybe I could have never been in control of me

If someone else ends me
Don't become vengeful
Move on with your life
Maybe my heart would have deserved to be stabbed by that knife
Because maybe I would have done something I never should
Because maybe I would have only pretended to be good

If this universe ends me
Then I know I would have lived a fair amount of this delusional life
So don't shed your tears
Maybe my unkind soul would have been confronted by it's greatest fears
Or maybe my heart would have never failed
Maybe I could have been just dragged to hell

If I die
Please don't cry don't even sigh
Maybe I would have never been worthy of life
Maybe it would have been the diabolic punishment I had always been waiting for
For maybe everything I would have ever done could have been only a euphoric lie
Mar 2018 · 329
Another dimension
Dlusionl13 Mar 2018
Sometimes I wish  
For Mandela effect to be true
Maybe then I could enter another dimension
Somewhere I have made better decisions 
Somewhere my world is more colourful
And not just blue
Mar 2018 · 13.8k
I trusted you......
Dlusionl13 Mar 2018
You are saying I am cruel
I bet you don't even care
Yes I am rude and also somewhat mean
Because I am a thunderous sea trying to calm the hurricane of your betrayal going inside me
You think I won't know
You are the one spreading the rumours
Thank you for sharing with the world your opinion of me

I was not like this before
It's you who ridiculed me
Making my already hard life a miserable mess
It's you who forced my mind
To shut the windows of my heart on everyone's face
I lost happiness as joy left me alone
In mending the broken hearts I was late
In joining the shattered pieces of friendships I failed
I want to thank you sincerely for making my life a living hell

You ignored me, isolated me
Burning my already suffered soul like an ignited coal
I could do nothing as hope left me
Turning me into a dark black hole
You knew what I was going through
Yet you left me saying you were tired of my demons
Thank you I never knew promises were meant just for a show

But how can you call me a ****** now
Telling everyone I am not good
Telling me I am isolated for a reason
Who made this worse
Think you should
I regret ever talking to you
I don't know why I shared my deepest darkest secrets only with you
Thank you for making me sorry for trusting you

You had promised you would help me
You said it was okay that I was okay
What happened then?
Why did you abandon me?
You took everyone that were close to me
Spread all the lies you want
No one is left anyway
But thank you for making me realise
That the battles I fight make me stronger than coward people like you

A loner an outcast
My life's never-ending cycle
It's my story my secret
I am the soul of a lonely dead girl
Betrayal hurts because it's something we never expect from the one we trust the most
Feb 2018 · 421
What I want from you
Dlusionl13 Feb 2018
I want my independence
Not your negligence
I want my privacy
Not your disinterest
I want my peace
Not your ignorance
I want my solitude
Not your silence

I want your time
Not your money
I want your opinions
Not your decisions
I want my hope
Not your expectations
I want my dreams
Not your unrealized realizations

For once I want to live my life
And not act according to your script
For once I want to be happy
Because I want to stay
And not to leave
Feb 2018 · 367
We.. pt2
Dlusionl13 Feb 2018
I am done with this world
I am lost in you
Let's run away tonight
I am waiting for your cue
I don't care if you are real or imaginary
For I always come back to you
Because it was no one else but you

People say I am insane
They claim you are not seen by the sane
But who will tell those fools
You are that ray of hope
I cannot afford to lose
That light that joy
That reason that answer
It's no one else but you

You are the game
My mind wants to play
You are the thought
My brain likes to crave
You are the mirage
I desperately try to save

You are the reason I live
You are the one that makes me stay
You are the reason I smile
It's all I can say
For it will never be anyone else but you
Feb 2018 · 345
Your value
Dlusionl13 Feb 2018
Don't speak so much
Your words will lose their value
Don't cry so much
Your tears will lose their value
Don't give yourself so much to others
You will lose your value

This is an advice from a person who lost her value
Feb 2018 · 433
We..
Dlusionl13 Feb 2018
This society will never allow us to be together
For our story is a dreaded stigma
You will always be my mystery
And I will always be your enigma

Our mixture is that of acid and water
We don't have a great chemistry
For you are my happiness
But I am your tragedy

Every one thinks we were just a thing for recreation
Because I am your creator
And you are my creation

Let's end this
I am tired of fighting alone
For even if you had been my spring
I had always been your autumn

We were bound to doom from start
We can't be forever we will never be infinity
For you were always my imagination
And I was always your reality
Yes I like to fall in love with my own delusions
Feb 2018 · 332
Lost
Dlusionl13 Feb 2018
I am lost
In the world present somewhere in the dark side of my brain
I am lost
In the negative thoughts that I cannot control
I am standing here alone mesmerized by this angry rain

I am lost I cannot find myself
I am that drop of water lost in the ocean
I am that peck of grass lost in the blankets of greenery
I am that particle of dust lost in the heaps of mud
I am that star lost in the infinity of universe

I am lost
I am the truth lost in denials
I am the memories forgotten in anger
I am the pain lost in scars
I am the tear hidden in a smile

Find me
I am the dream lost in failure
I am the happiness lost in past
I am the faith lost in present
I am the hope lost in future
Feb 2018 · 241
Reality vs Imagination
Dlusionl13 Feb 2018
Reality had imagined itself one day
I hope imagination realizes this someday
Feb 2018 · 305
S.O.R.R.Y
Dlusionl13 Feb 2018
Sins my mind commits
satisfying my inner demon

Other than those careless mistakes and rude words

Reliving my death in different ways almost everyday kills me more

Regretting the cruel murders my brain  imagines in utter despair makes it worse

You can't save me I am trapped in my nightmares
It's an acronym
Jan 2018 · 399
Attempt
Dlusionl13 Jan 2018
She went to that river
Tears glistening in her eyes
She wanted to end it all
To free herself from all the lies
As the river swallowed the sun
She knew that moment had come
She climbed the railing of the bridge
Hope she had none

She jumped down the bridge
A step towards eternity
As water rushed inside her
Memories also surfaced at speed of infinity
She remembered she hallucinated
Every moment of her life
Happiest memories saddest realities
Slicing her soul like a sharp knife

All years crammed into few seconds
As life drained out of her externally
She remembered all the times
She had died internally
But along with the moments she dreaded
Came the memories she lived for
Along with the faces that made her cry
Came the faces she smiled for

The panic kicked in
Her heart driving her crazy with fear
She wanted to live now
Smile again
For all those who held her dear
Everything faded into darkness
But then she saw a light
.....
When she opened her eyes
Everything was white to her utter surprise
Sep 2017 · 585
An unsaid apology
Dlusionl13 Sep 2017
What am i to you?
An unwanted blessing, a curse?
If given a chance
I know u would want it to reverse

I know u love me
You love me from your core
But we both know that
You would have loved him more

The world reminds u of his absence
You want to show it u don't care
So u raise me like him for all to see
Do u think it is still fair?

Its our fate i took his place
Not my fault and definitely not my mistake
Yet i try my best to fill in his void
Not for mine or for the world but only for your sake

I am more than him
Is it that hard to see?
Then why do u miss him?
Can't you just think about me?
He was not born
It was me

I am sorry if the world thinks
I cant protect you
I am sorry i am a plant and not a tree
I am sorry for my existence
I am sorry to you

I am sorry for being an oyster
And for not being a pearl
I am sorry for not being him
I am sorry for being a girl
It's sarcasm ;)
Sep 2017 · 359
Your illusion of me
Dlusionl13 Sep 2017
I am a deadly sin
Made by your own ignorance
I am your deepest scar
A side effect of your non existing tolerance

I am your biggest hatred
Your conclusion of my careless words
Everything a false delusion of your brain
As true as existence of two worlds
Sep 2017 · 208
A confession to God
Dlusionl13 Sep 2017
My question to God
O omnipotent, powerful You
Why this universe?
Why me?
Why You?
A ridiculous question and no answer
You are the creator our Lord
The one who can answer is only You

Why love and hatred?
Why money? Why crime?
Why some people are rich, unworthy powerful?
But many weak and poor
Greed, lust, hate, envy, ego, gluttony, money, fame, power
All are a same thing
A deadly disease with no cure

Answer me O Lord
Why did You create this world?
We're You that ignorant?
Were u that bored?
Between life and death
A fight with the world
  A fight with You
A battle of survival for us
But just a thrilling game to You

Aren't we fun O Lord?
I hope You are entertained
As we play this game
Don't You fear that everything will be destroyed in the end?
For You this maybe an enjoyment
But  for us its a harsh punishment

How can we believe You O Good?
That You love us that You care
Because this impartial battle called life
Many of us find it unfair
You are playing with us God
We too are challenging You
We will lose ourselves O Lord
The day we lose you

— The End —